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Since they became popular among late aughts and early 2010s Williamsburgers, Brooklynites have rediscovered some true gems of the genre and the so-called dive has only become more and more popular. But what exactly is a dive bar? Until the term was reclaimed by the aforementioned Woolen Beanie in Summertime Crowd, it meant someplace where you couldn’t trust the draft beer because only God knows when anyone last cleaned the lines: someplace where the floors were sticky and the mingling scents of aroma and cigarette smoke choked the air.
Now, however, a dive implies the kind of no-frills, incandescently-lit, happy hour staple enjoyed by young professionals and old barflies alike. It means somewhere you’ll get a cold beer, a sporting event on T.V. (no matter how obscure), and conversation with good bartenders who don’t pretend to know any shirt-gartered mixological mastery. They’ll make you a Negroni, sure. But there’s a very slight chance you’ll be looked at askance. Though all five boroughs boast more than their fair share of bars that fit the description, we’ll focus today on the many dives of what was once known as the borough of churches, but could just as accurately now be called the borough of bars.
1. The Salty Dog
This Bay Ridge staple is that most modern Brooklyn of all things: a kid-friendly dive bar. Located in a repurposed firehouse, it even contains a restored vintage firetruck that children are allowed to sit in and pretend to drive. It also has a stellar kitchen that puts out pasta dishes just as well as chicken tenders and burgers. Behind the bar, cold domestic bottles and very good Guinness vie for space with an immense collection of first responder patches.
These tokens, not uncommon at dive bars, feature the insignia of first responder units from around the world and Salty Dog’s collection is understandably immense. Pop in during Monday night football and you’re likely to run into a few out-of-town firemen, EMTs and cops adding their own unit’s patch to the back of the bar.
(718) 238-0030
7509 3rd Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11209
2. Irish Haven
An extremely unassuming storefront in deepest Sunset Park, Irish Haven hosts a bar that has been a dive since before it was popular, and will remain so if the trend ever fades (in this economy? Not likely). Almost Spartan in its commitment to the no-frills aesthetic of the workingman’s watering hole, Irish Haven is a quiet but stalwart institution in the ever-changing neighborhood.
A candidate for historic status thanks to its remaining largely unchanged since its opening in 1964, Irish Haven was praised by the National Trust for the Preservation of Historic Places as unpretentious but vibrant, giving particular attention to the bartenders, “experts at mixing the poetic with the mundane, and bartenders have been known to quote Yeats and Joyce as they pour pints of Guinness and shots of Jameson.”
(718) 439-9893
5721 4th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11220
3. Farrell’s
Depending on your age, you’ll either know the neighborhood hosting the iconic dive as Windsor Terrace or Park Slope. Since by the time this reporter lived there in 2012 to 2015, Park Slope had already been divided into newly-named subdivisions by real estate agents who thought they were slick, we’ll use Windsor Terrace here (there is a Nitehawk cinema after all, surely that means the gentrifiers have achieved total victory). Everywhere, that is, except Farrell’s.
Located on Prospect Park Southwest, Farrell’s has been serving up suds and shots since the 1930s. It’s so much “of a different time,” in fact, that for the first four decades of its existence it refused to serve women. In 1970, New York literary legend Pete Hamill walked into Farrell’s with his no-nonsense girlfriend Shirley MacLaine, making the actress the first woman to be served there. Today, ladies and gentlemen alike can partake in discounted (styrofoam, another throwback) quarts of draft beer and some of the coldest bottles in Brooklyn. The block on which it sits is also a hidden gem, with food and drink plentiful (which is nice if you want to bring your own food into Farrell’s and grab another quart).
instagram.com/farrellsbarandgrill
(718) 788-8779
215 Prospect Park SW, Brooklyn, NY 11215
4. Ruby’s Bar & Grill
So, you’ve finally taken that riddle on the Cyclone, the original New York chiropractic adjustment, and you’ve had your Nathan’s hot dog. What’s next for the Coney Island newbie? A trip to the boardwalk, of course! And while you’re there, you’d be remiss if you neglected Ruby’s Bar & Grill, the best business left on the planks.
Opened in 1934 as the Hebrew National bar and purchased by Coney Island local Ruby Jacobs in 1974, Ruby’s is the premiere place to refresh yourself with a cold one after a walk along the beach, or a spine jostling by the roller coasters. The bar is made from reclaimed bits of the boardwalk itself, and Ruby’s has both indoor and outdoor seating so you can stretch your legs in the shade or soak up some rays. The menu is classic New York pub fare, with the addition of an unsurprisingly robust seafood section, and the mixed drinks tend toward the tropical (think margs, not manhattans), making Ruby’s perfect for a sunny day.
(718) 975-7829
1213 Riegelmann Boardwalk, Brooklyn, NY 11224
5. Montero’s
For those old enough to remember the old Rusty Knot bar on West Street in the West Village, Montero’s will feel like reuniting with the older brother of a dear departed friend. Nautically themed thanks to its history of dock-working and seafaring patrons (it’s located right up the blocks from the ever bustling Pier 6, which is now a lovely green space).
Though it’s more than 80 years old (if the facade wasn’t a clue), Montero’s is still going strong. This is thanks in strong part to its commitment to keeping it old school with both the visuals and the offerings. PBRs for $4, karaoke twice a week, pool table, and a few outdoor seats. It is, in short, a quintessential modern dive despite being around for an actual lifetime. Its Downtown Brooklyn location also makes it convenient to the NYC Ferry, which docks at Pier 6 on its runs up and down the east river.
monteros-bar-grill.foodjoyy.com
(646) 729-4129
73 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn, NY, 11201
6. Turtles All the Way Down
Most of the bars on this list feature more than ample access to televised sports; in fact, many of them keep P.C. Richard in business with the sheer expansion of T.V. sets since legalized sports betting became legal in New York. But only at Bed-Stuy’s unique Turtles All the Way Down can you enjoy true live sporting action. The name isn’t just a funny homage to a very old joke, it’s a play on what you’ll find inside.
Every month, Turtles All the Way Down hosts turtle races in which the famously slow-moving animals keep patrons entertained for more time than the length of a game of darts or the running of the Belmont Stakes. And with multiple races a night, enthusiasts are able to indulge their passion for low-motion track and field spectacles for hours a night. Pair that with generous drink specials, live DJs and impeccable dive-y ambiance, and you’ve got a Bed-Stuy classic.
instagram.com/turtlesallthewaydownbk
(917) 484-1108
236 Malcolm X Blvd, Brooklyn, NY 11221
7. Canal Bar
A rare novelty in Brooklyn, Canal Bar is a Chicago sports outpost, with specials for Chi-town team games and Windy City flags adorning the ceiling. It’s also one of the most canine-friendly bars in the entire city. A scenic walk to live music and performance space The Bell House, Canal Bar is an ideal place to pregame before a night out in the lively Gowanus nightlife scene.
Take your friends, order a cold domestic and a shot of Mallort (you’re basically at a Chicago embassy, after all), and grab seats outside and wait for the friendly resident pups to come greet you with smiles and not so subtle requests for pets and/or belly rubs. New York sports die-hards need not fear, either: Canal Bar shows equal love to the local teams showing particular love to the Knicks and the Liberty. In fact, it’s hard to think of a bar in the area that’s more universally welcoming and pleasant: It might even welcome a St. Louis Cardinals fan in warmly, even if there is some ribbing.
(718) 246-0011
270 3rd Ave # A, Brooklyn, NY 11215
8. The Long Island Bar
Another museum-piece of a watering hole in Downtown Brooklyn, the Long Island Bar is similar to Montero’s in more ways than simple location. Both are survivors (LIB was opened in 1951 and continues to satisfy today), and both boast some of the most well-preserved and downright beautiful neon signage in the borough.
If you want to see if cheeseburgers taste any different than they did in the time of Lucy, Desi, and Ike, this is the spot to try. In fact, Bon Appetit named LIB’s burger one of the top five in the city. The late-Deco/mid-modern ambiance is fed by vintage barstools, streamlined wooden accents, and vintage clocks completes the time capsule charm of this place. Other dives might put up vintage tin signs on their walls, or weather the tables to feign use: Long Island Bar shows them up for the pretenders they are by keeping it simple, keeping it real, and maintaining a real tradition, whether or not that tradition happens to align with the current mode.
(718) 625-8908
110 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11201
9. Post No Bills
A good happy hour is one of the best things to hope for in a dive, and Post No Bills offers perhaps the best. If you thought $3 Buds were extinct, consider Post No Bills your own personal Jurassic Park. Plus, the happy hour extends from opening to 9 p.m. It also includes an all-night beer and shot combo, as well as $9 cocktails. So in terms of sheer bang for your buck this Bushwick staple is hard to beat.
Maybe only Irish Haven has a more proletarian look from the outside, but Post No Bills is the kind of neighborhood spot that every single neighborhood needs. Steel stools, chalkboard menus, horn-rimmed spectacles: this place might look like a relic from 2010, but it is in fact one of Brooklyn’s best hangouts. If you’re going during prime time, a reservation is highly recommended, because Post No Bills is not a big place. But there are also few places better to hang out at during off-hours.
(347) 721-3631
253 Bushwick Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11206
Methodology
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When looking for the ideal dive bars, we considered several factors: Were we representing enough different parts of Brooklyn (there are many neighborhoods, after all). Were the beers decently priced? Were we going to get rocked for a $12 Guinness or worse, a $10 Michelob? What was the ambiance? Refer to the first slide for a more baroque description, but was this a bar of the people? Or were there too many pretentious cocktails, Abercrombie bartenders and house music playlists?
What did the decor look like? And more importantly, did it show its history? The walls of a dive bar should tell a story. How were the staff? Could the bartenders hold a conversation as though there were no T.V.s in the place? If there was food, was it simple, unpretentious, and satisfying?