One month ago, I asked my girlfriend of almost seven years to marry me. I think I did, at least. It’s hard to remember anything I said after, “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to do this for a long time.”
I have a tendency to go overboard when making plans. It’s something I’ve done from a young age, creating itineraries for my childhood birthday parties or mapping out road trips down to the mile marker as a teen.
I’ve tried to kick the habit in my adulthood. I still feel that planning is important, but some of the best moments in life happen when you aren’t following a schedule.
My desire to be more spontaneous was very front-of-mind when I started planning a big trip with Carly, who I now call my fiance. That’s right folks. She said yes!
I had originally pictured a proposal somewhere on the East Coast. Carly has fond memories of childhood vacations to New York and New Jersey, a part of the country I’ve never visited but would love to experience.
The two of us attended college together in Duluth, so the North Shore was also on the table — but I’ve kept Carly waiting on a ring for the better part of a decade. I was inclined to go big or go home.
As the two of us started planning for our romantic getaway, Carly’s eyes wandered to overseas flights. She discovered that a trip to Stockholm, hotel and all, would be more affordable than an East Coast vacation if we weren’t too picky about when exactly we hopped on a flight.
Apparently it pays to be spontaneous!
Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about finding a ring before we fled the country. Early this year, I worked with a jeweler to design something custom after one of their rings caught Carly’s eye. I knew she wanted some peach-colored accent stones as an homage to her childhood nickname.
With that ring hidden in my camera bag, Carly and I left for Sweden less than two months after we booked our flight.
I had a loose outline of museums, restaurants and other attractions we could visit on each of our seven days overseas — but I made sure to leave plenty of room for unplanned excursions as well. We ended up mixing and matching the itinerary to our hearts’ content and found plenty of hidden gems.
It was so much fun discovering a new place together.
There was one unintended side-effect of this exercise in spontaneity: I was constantly looking for the right time to pop the question. I knew Carly wouldn’t want me to get down on one knee at a crowded restaurant or on a busy street corner, for instance.
So, my goal was to find a quiet place with a nice view, away from prying eyes. That’s easier said than done in a foreign country’s most populous city. Our cute-but-quaint hotel room was also a no-go for obvious reasons.
In my search for the perfect moment, I seemed to find a reason to wait at every twist and turn. It was only on our last day, during our last meal in Sweden, that I realized every moment with Carly is perfect — why wait any longer?
I was also keenly aware that I was running out of time.
Self-deprecation aside, there really was something special about that last night. We stopped by the same waterside restaurant where we ate Swedish meatballs on the first night of our trip and reminisced about our week away from home.
We had some drinks, went on a walk and watched the sunset from a secluded dock. Then I told Carly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
I’m so glad the feeling is mutual.