Infidelity doesn’t always begin with a dramatic affair or a secret message, it often starts quietly, in moments most couples overlook. And while everyone loves to debate whether men or women are the “bigger cheaters,” the truth hides in the stories that only divorce lawyers get to hear.

Divorce lawyer reveals key differences in how men and women handle infidelity. (Freepik) Divorce lawyer reveals key differences in how men and women handle infidelity. (Freepik)

James Joseph Sexton, an American attorney who specialises in divorce and family law in New York, reveals in one of his videos the surprising answer to who cheats more—men or women. (Also read: Groom slaps child for disturbing photoshoot: Internet debates if parents must control kids or let them loose at weddings )

Who cheats more

According to Sexton, the answer is clear. “I would say in my experience, men cheat more, but women cheat better,” he says. “Women go big or go home. Men just do dumb sh*t a lot of the time.”

He explains that not all cheating is the same. “There’s a difference between a dalliance and an affair,” Sexton notes. “A dalliance is doing something stupid and fooling around with someone. An affair is a full-on thing.”

Do men and women cheat differently

Sexton believes they do, and their reactions also differ dramatically. “Men and women approach cheating differently, in my experience. And they react to cheating differently in my experience,” he says.

When a man discovers his wife cheated, Sexton says the first question is often physical: “Did you have sex with him?” But when a woman finds out her husband cheated, the first question is emotional: “Do you love her?”

Sexton explains that this difference reveals underlying fears and insecurities: “Men worry about territory or ‘property,’ while women worry about emotional replacement. “It says something about our internal biases about how we approach our spouse and approach marriage,” he adds.

Who gets caught more

Even though Sexton says both men and women cheat “a lot,” there’s one major difference: “Men get caught more often in my experience than women do. Women, when they cheat, are better about it in terms of how they hide it.”

After decades of watching marriages fall apart, Sexton’s conclusion is straightforward: “Both men and women cheat, but they do it differently, for different reasons, and with very different levels of stealth.

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This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice.