I’m going to start this off by saying two things: I’m a huge Martha Stewart fan, and I love starting my morning with a hot New York City bagel.
But as a girl who grew up in Brooklyn, New York (the undisputed mecca of great bagels), I take my bagels super seriously. I don’t order them toasted, I don’t order them in weird over-complicated flavors, and I don’t mess what is already pretty perfect.
So, in a December 12 Instagram post, when Martha Stewart shared her preferred way of eating a bagel, I was rather confused. And, alarmed, if we’re going to be honest.
In the post, Stewart shared that she likes to pick up a poppyseed from PopUp Bagels (which, to be fair, is my favorite bagel spot in New York City too, and also the variety I always get when I’m there). But here’s where things get strange: At this point, she’ll cut the bagel in half, and then break it into small bite-sized pieces, and then cover those pieces with her cream cheese of choice.
She says this is a great way to enjoy a bagel moderately and not get overstuffed.
The comments quickly exploded with responses such as. “This is the bagel that 2025 deserves,” and “Queen Martha, this is a violation of the bagel code of ethics.” (And to be honest, those were some of the kinder comments.)
The ironic thing about all of this is that Martha Stewart is often posting indulgences such as baked potatoes covered in caviar as a casual way to entertain guests. That’s not exactly moderation either. But she can’t eat a whole bagel?
As a girl who grew up in New York, and have eaten a whole lot of bagels, I’m having a lot of feelings about this. Get the variety of bagel you want. Get the cream cheese you want. Feel free to even toast it if you want (though you’re wrong). But the normal trajectory is to slice that hot, fresh bagel in half (just in half, not in tiny pieces!), and slather on your spread of choice. Perhaps top with some smoked salmon or bacon, egg, and cheese. Perhaps you may enjoy yours open-faced or in its original form. But what Stewart is doing here is causing a whole lot of bagel rage on social media, and I’m a part of it.
Life is hard enough. Eat the whole bagel. Let yourself have that one simple pleasure to start what may be a long and stressful day. Eat the bagel the way nature intended.
Now, to be fair, after a whole bunch of backlash in the comments, Stewart did later on edit her post to say she was joking, but still allowed that this was a “very satisfying” way to eat a bagel.
I disagree. Entirely. But, hey, it’s 2025. Eat your bagel any way you want.