The Rate-A-Queen Talent Show, Part 1
Season 18
Episode 5
Editor’s Rating
5 stars
*****
Production finally woke up and chose chaos.
Photo: MTV
Hey, so this episode rocked. It was a perfect representation of Drag Race at its best: clearly developed storytelling, production decisions that forced girls to navigate new twists without seeming out-of-bounds, and a couple of performances (including a lip sync) that absolutely knocked my socks off. What more could you ask from this show?
The most exciting part is that, for the first time this season, the production side has shown some life. Until now, the challenges have largely been warmed-over examples of stuff that worked, or (in the case of RDR Live!) didn’t work, in previous seasons without anything to really keep these girls on their toes. The cast has been universally great, but it didn’t feel as if the show was pushing them to be the best performers or personalities they could be. The bus driver was asleep at the wheel, and the drag queens in the back were driving the season.
But it turns out they had this challenge up their sleeve. This week, the “Rate-A-Queen Talent Show,” which appeared on the previous two seasons, was back. Whereas in those seasons, a version of this challenge kicked things off, this time the producers cleverly placed it at just the right point in the season. There are enough queens that the show still feels full, but the tensions have also started boiling up and queens have developed new relationships playing out in real time. The strategizing is real this week, and they’ve laid the foundation to make the dynamics work.
The most important group of the strategy talks, and of the season, is the Dions. Athena and Juicy, alongside Tia Mia, quickly create an alliance that everybody assumed they were in anyway. Notably, this benefits Juicy and Mia somewhat but mostly benefits Athena. Juicy and Mia, who go this week, were never really in danger, but Athena positions it so those girls go on the same week (even though they probably both could have gotten individual challenge wins if they went on separate weeks). Now, she has her two besties rating her. Smartly, Kenya Pleaser, still reeling from her bottom-two placement last week, gets in on their alliance.
The other central force that comes into play this week is the Glam alliance (a.k.a. the group of queens in the Go-Go’s–inspired number from week two). This ends up functionally being less of an alliance and more of a web of friends. While the Dions have clear rules about where they’ll place one another (Athena was always going to make sure of that), Glam is more about vibes. Anyone who has watched Survivor knows vagaries are the enemy of success, and ultimately the ringleader of Glam, Ciara, still goes down this week.
Yet you have Jane, who makes a lot of hay about hating “Rate-A-Queen” as a concept. She came to be judged by RuPaul! Not some Florida bitches who don’t know how to read! Expressing a continual worry that the girls will put her in the bottom out of vengeance because she’s been in the top so much, Jane is very cocky about her placement in the competition. She has been an interesting beast so far, basing her entire arc on her continued ability to do well. She must be smart enough to know she’s setting herself up for a downfall, right? If she’s lucky, it will be early enough that she’ll still be able to regain strength before the finale. I’m expecting a lot out of this girl’s Snatch Game.
When it comes time to choose who’s performing which week, Nini Coco freaks out. With an odd number of girls, she can just choose whichever week she wants, whether week one with Mia and Juicy — which has the added benefit of happening sooner — or week two. She chooses week one, the wrong choice. I’m a little worried about Nini’s inability to strategize. While other queens like Athena, Jane, Vita, and even Darlene are expertly crafting narratives about who they are and what they need from the judges for the camera, Nini is floundering. She’s fabulously talented, but I’m not sure she has yet figured out how to be on TV.
The groups:
Week one: Ciara, Juicy, Nini, Vita, Darlene, Mia
Week two: Jane, Discord, Myki, Kenya, Athena
On the runway, the category is “Not Today, Satin.” Ciara’s devil look is totally forgettable. Her signature makeup doesn’t make sense on top of a pretty dress. Juicy wears a fabulous flower dress that frames her face beautifully. Her preference for tiny little wigs may grow to grate on me, but for now I like that it makes her look like Jasmine Amy Rogers as Betty Boop. Nini’s look is made by someone who is not her, since she hates sewing satin. It is a blue dress covered in satin loofahs. Not my thing. Vita’s outfit relies on a flat nude illusion panel over her breasts, and it does not look right. Darlene’s dress is just not good. She’s yet to prove she has the glamour necessary to win this thing, though I’d love her to prove me wrong. Mia’s giant bow dress is fabulous, but her hair is all wrong. She hasn’t quite figured out her proportions.
Jane wears a dress with a satin sun on it and a bird around her neck. I think this is too literal. Discord’s trash look is lumpy, and her walk hasn’t improved. Myki, meanwhile, turns out her best look yet; I love the way that one piece of fabric floats above her head. Too bad for her that her best look so far is on a week she’s not being judged. Kenya wears a coat that Jane brought because she showed up without an outfit. Honestly? This is my favorite Kenya look so far. Hair is right, makeup is right. She looks cute! Athena is in a pink monstrosity inspired by To Wong Foo. It’s an evil garment.
Ciara opens up the talent show. A few things: When she said she was reciting a serious poem she wrote, I groaned; this is potentially my least favorite kind of drag imaginable; and despite her a stellar outfit, I do not think the performance was very good. And YET, even I know Ciara shouldn’t have been in the bottom over the performance of a certain other queen whom I like significantly more. At least Ciara had a stellar outfit! Vita is very lucky she’s so charming.
Juicy is amazing. The track doesn’t sound good because they never do, but I’m glad she’s singing it. Doing a robot-themed number is a great idea, and I like how much personality she managed to infuse into that bot. She moves like a dream. Great performance.
Nini brings her famous praying-mantis routine to the Drag Race stage for the talent show, to some girls’ chagrin. I think it’s smart. It’s not as if her original performance was filmed by professional cameras. Plus, the track is new. Either way, this is fabulous, and looking over next week’s performance schedule, I think she made an extremely faulty tactical decision regarding which week to perform.
Vita stinks. She does a workout routine she doesn’t know the words to. She’s low energy. Her costume is unflattering. Her song isn’t funny. She wears flats. It’s by far the worst performance of the night. Sorry, girl, you should have been in the bottom.
Darlene does okay for herself. She does a hokey-pokey little singsong number about tools that uses sexual innuendo. It doesn’t really go far enough, though it’s definitely cute. I love Darlene’s personality, but I need her to start pushing.
Finally comes Mia, who rocks it. She does a rap track that she performs herself featuring two different flows. She’s charismatic and funny, and she has an amazing grounded energy while performing. However, she wears two rainbow wigs that are both terrible. I don’t begrudge her spot in the top. I’m just saying.
The voting queens mostly do right by the performers. Juicy and Mia end up in the top, which is sad for Nini but entirely her fault. Ciara, meanwhile, ends up in the bottom and will lip-sync against next week’s loser. I’m not feeling too bad for Ciara because I think the poem was ill advised and that the bottom girl next week will be Discord, who has six left feet.
Then we get to the lip sync. It’s to guest judge Zara Larsson’s track “Pretty Ugly.” You know the power of a good lip sync? I hated this song before watching this; now I want it to play at every club I go to for the next calendar year. Both girls kill it. It’s amazing to see two performers of this level get a song they can sink their teeth into and just go for it. Juicy does gravity-defying moves throughout, but what surprises me is that she catches the vibe of the song in her face. Mia, meanwhile, is grounded and funny and pulls attention throughout. Ru gives them both the win. Honestly, I hate that. If it were a Lip Sync for Your Life, I’d definitely keep them both. But this has such low stakes that they should just make a choice. For me, the winner is Juicy.
• The girls talk about the talent show. Ciara reveals the full harrowing backstory behind her performance, and the girls privately note that it didn’t come through onstage.
• Zara is fun! Totally down to clown with the judges. I’m assuming “Midnight Sun” will appear sooner rather than later on the show too.
• Ross’s “G.I. Joe in a paper dress” joke about Darlene’s outfit was my favorite critique he’s had in a long time.
• Trauma Makeup Corner: It’s all confined to Untucked because the main show needs the space for strategy.
• Gay Thoughts From Co-workers: My colleague Jesse David Fox just binged all five episodes of the season. Here are his thoughts after consuming what took us a month and change to see in one day:
It’s been maybe ten seasons since my favorite queen is not someone seemingly in contention to win. When Kenya Pleaser talked about how much joy it brings her to see Mia Starr laugh every day and Mia responded to that comment by laughing a lot, I was in love. Then seeing her dance this week and transfer the energy she brings offstage to her art onstage was really moving to me. She has already “won,” even if she won’t win the season. I am less intrigued by Darlene Mitchell’s drag, but similarly, I find their presence overwhelmingly winning. I guess I’m rooting for Nini Coco to win because, in my estimation, she is the only queen to be funny on purpose this season (she also was very funny not on purpose this episode), even though she is (gasp) 29.
• Predicted Top Four: I’m getting worried that Vita can’t do anything but sew. I’ll go Jane, Juicy, Nini, and Mia, just for some fun. Would love to see Mia make it, but the proportions may hold her back.
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