At 90 years young, longtime Great Neck resident, Lois A. Schaffer is a local treasure, a bon vivant, and a champion of human rights.
That Lois!
I first met Lois in 2006, when I was running for a board of trustees seat in the Great Neck Library election in a hotly contested race. She was an integral part of a dynamic and organized group of seniors (Stan Romaine, Naomi Feldheim, Mischa Schwartz, Bobbie Zeller, Renee Zarin, and others) who helped me and my running mate get elected. Their dedication to the cause, for someone they barely knew, left a great impression on me.
Recently, Lois found her way back into my home to reflect upon her life’s journey. She beamed, pranced and giggled for close to two hours. Lois is quite the storyteller, and she gets her musings down in writing. Her latest book, “Random Reflections- Encounters That Shape Us and the Invisible Threads that Bind Us,” is getting launched, with a book signing at the Great Neck Library on April 12, 2026, at 2 pm. Make sure to stop by and say hello to Lois. A future date at Theodore’s Books, founded by her friend, former US Congressman, Steve Israel, is also in the works.
Secret to a Good Life
Lois and her husband, David, have been living in Great Neck for over 53 years. Get this: They have known each other for close to 74 years, and married for 69, and counting. Famously, they were high school sweethearts at Jamaica High, and yes, Lois made the first move. After a group ice-skating outing with a mutual friend, she asked if she could seek an introduction, and she cheekily replied, “damned right,” and never looked back.
David Schaffer’s name came up many times. He is a practicing attorney and sitting judge in Great Neck Estates. Per Lois, David is “unsurpassed” as a father, grandfather, great-grandfather, husband and friend. As for the secret to longevity, Lois exclaimed, “good genes (Lois’ mom lived to 98) and a good partner. David is the best!”
“That what you can, you do.”
Aside from being a published author, Lois has seemingly done it all and met many interesting notables along the way. Her husband David was a Harvard Law school classmate of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and they became fast friends. The Schaffers have many fond memories with RBG and her “hysterical and brilliant” husband, Marty.
Back in the day, Lois was very into modern dance, with a deep appreciation of its physicality and artistry. She was led by Pearl Wiseman, an acolyte of Martha Graham. Later, Lois’s nonprofit grant writing included writing proposals for the Pearl Lang Dance Foundation Inc. and supporting low-income housing for seniors. Lois also protested the Vietnam War, advocated for Nixon’s impeachment, and spoke out on many other issues of the time. Great Neck’s “liberal” European Jews at the time were in good company. Lois’ advocacy turned to activism.
Great Neck Through Lois’s Eyes
Speaking about our town, Lois is a fan. “I love it here”, she winked. Her first impressions of Great Neck in the Seventies? It was very exciting, but a very swank, privileged society. “Red nails, ladies who lunched and had tea…” Lois reminisced. She specifically recalled the cost of Franck Olivier blouses as a symbol of the pricey life, then laughed because her young granddaughter just spent a small fortune at Sephora on a recent shopping spree. Hmm, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
As for the different waves of immigrants coming into our town, Lois cited the European Jews who made their way here, bringing different customs to the already-established Mayflower folks in the mid-1900s.
When the Persian-Jewish “invasion” arrived in the Eighties, she thought it was “wonderful,” but, of course, many of her peers did not. Lois says she is not one to judge and has always been open-minded about diversity. She learned that from the world of dance, and also the liberal/ reform practice of Judaism. “We are all human beings”, she said, “the same skin and bones, but we must focus on the beauty of differences.”
We discussed the modern tensions between “liberal” versus “traditional” lifestyles in our town and abroad, including her visit to site of the Nova Festival in Israel, post – Oct. 7. Needless to say, we did not solve the Middle East conflict, but we made a small dent.
“It comes down to understanding,” she said. “We must all seek to understand each other, learn from each other.” Lois has friends from all walks of life, with diverse opinions, motivations and approaches. “Most people are inherently good irrespective of their ethnic background”, she said. As with many in the tribe, Lois is a practitioner of tikkun olam, the repair of the world. One person at a time, with an open heart and a smile.
Advocacy Against Gun Violence
Lois became a prominent advocate against gun violence after the 1994 LIRR massacre, solidly aligning her with Carolyn McCarthy, May Neuberger and state Assembly Member Michelle Schimel who became good friends.
Tragically, gun violence found the Schaffers in 2008, after the senseless murder of their 48-year-old daughter, Susan. A single mother, she interrupted a random burglary at her St. Louis residence, perpetrated by two teenagers with a stolen gun. Susie was on the phone with her daughter Rachel, at the time, and it was her son, Daniel who discovered his mom’s body.
The intruders, students at Daniel’s school, fled with a computer, iPod and digital camera. A random act of violence that forever altered the Schaffers’ lives, their son, Eric, and Susan’s three young children.
Like Lois, Susan herself was movement-oriented and trained in dance. Ultimately, Susie became certified as a Pliates and Gyrotonic instructor, of which Lois is immensely proud.
To help deal with her immense grief and loss, Lois subsequently authored several books, prior to Random Reflections, including her memoir, “The Unthinkable: Life, Loss, and a Mother’s Mission to Ban Illegal Guns” and “From Bullet to Bullhorn,” In doing so, Lois memorialized and honored Susie’s life as a tribute. Hopefully, future tragedies can be avoided.
“Either you sink or you swim”
Channeling Martha Graham, whom she met several times, it is Lois’ passion that makes her a great person. Lois is a mover and a shaker, a doer with boundless grit. As Lois put it, “I focus on turning my tears into compassion and action. I kvell from making someone smile, and it gives me pleasure knowing that I’m helping others.” Amen, one thousand fold.
Janet Nina Esagoff founded Destination: Great Neck Ltd. in 2021, aiming to fortify and celebrate her hometown. @greatneckbiz. In 2017, she launched Esagoff Law Group PC, with offices “in town” on Middle Neck Road. Prior to the law, Janet designed special–occasion wear for girls/teens at Party Girl, her Bond Street atelier.
Janet Nina Esagoff Janet Nina Esagoff