STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Brian Walling, 46, was doing what defined him — helping others — when his life suddenly ended Nov. 10 as he prepared his friend’s home for the opening day of hunting season.
When the longtime Staten Islander, a husband and father of three young children, wasn’t answering his phone or texts from his friend’s Pine Bush, New York, home, his wife, Joyce Lucchese Walling, knew something was wrong.
“I knew it wasn’t right,” she recalled with sadness, explaining she expected him to be on his way home to Scotch Plains, New Jersey, to attend hockey with his son. ”I was sending messages and he wasn’t replying. My son had hockey, and he would never miss it, ever.“
Not long after, a fire commissioner answered Walling’s phone and delivered the tragic news. He had been discovered alone in the home, likely the victim of a sudden health episode.
And for now, Lucchese Walling, a stay-at-home mom to Liam, 12, Lyla, 10, and Declan, 7, is grief stricken and a bit terrified about the costs of raising a family alone.
‘Best person I ever met’
“Brian was the best person I have ever met,” she said of her husband of nearly 19 years. ”That’s why my heart is broken, for me and mostly my kids. He would give anyone the shirt off his back.”
She’s also extremely grateful, she said, for the outpouring of support she’s received from Staten Island and New Jersey friends, many of whom have been close to Walling since elementary school at Our Lady Star of the Sea in Huguenot and Monsignor Farrell High School in Oakwood.
Liam’s hockey team families have also shown full support, as have the hundreds of friends Walling met and helped along the way.
“He was the type of person who wanted to see everyone succeed. If you got a promotion at work, if a kid got on a good hockey team … all he wanted to do was hear good things, and if he could help, he would,” his wife recalled.
As the vice president of youth hockey for Scotch Plains-Fanwood Ice Hockey, Walling had formed and coached spring hockey teams and looked for every opportunity to grow the sport he loved. This fall, his efforts resulted in the community’s first ball hockey program.
A graduate of St. John’s University, Walling was a construction site supervisor, and used his skills to help family and neighbors with household repairs, chores, anything they needed, his wife said.
Overwhelmed by the support, and the more than 1,000 people who showed up to pay respects at his recent visitation, Lucchese Walling said she can’t help thinking that these acts of kindness are just what her husband would be doing for another in this situation.
“He would pick up kids, take them to practice, take them out of the house, distract them any way he could,” she said through tears.
‘I’m extremely grateful’
One great friend, Colleen Gialanella, has organized a GoFundMe fundraiser to help Lucchese Walling and the children face their uncertain financial future.
“I’m extremely grateful‚” Lucchese Walling said, noting that her husband was the breadwinner, and she focused on the home. ”He took care of all that.”
Now, she said, worries about finances and health care are overwhelming.
Her husband, a youth hockey coach for Union Thunder and basketball coach for the Scotch Plains Recreational League, grew up in Annadale. His wife is from South Beach.
The two met at a Forest Avenue bar, and went fishing in Brooklyn on their first date, Lucchese Walling recalled.
“I actually said to my friend, ‘What do you wear fishing?’” she recalled with a laugh. ”He caught a fish — and I caught a bigger fish.”
As their love grew throughout their marriage, she said it was obvious there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his family.
“From cold days in hockey rinks to long days in Disney World, there was nothing Brian wouldn’t do to bring joy to his family,” reads his obituary on the website of the Memorial Funeral Home in Fanwood, New Jersey.
Walling was also known for his sharp Irish wit and fierce loyalty, friends remembered.
To contribute to the fundraiser, visit gofundme.com.
Funeral arrangements took place Nov. 16 and Nov. 17. Walling is also survived by his sister, Alexis Walling, and many nieces, nephews and cousins.
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