(Annie Lane is off this week. The following column first appeared in 2023.)<\/p>\n
Dear Annie: <\/p>\n
I\u2019m a 32-year-old single woman facing a predicament. I\u2019ve been friends with a guy named \u201cStan\u201d for a few months, though we haven\u2019t actually talked in over a month now. We were acquainted in high school, but we lost touch after a short while. Stan and I went on a couple of dates, and I thought things were going well, but then he asked if we could just be friends. If we hadn\u2019t almost hooked up, I would\u2019ve been fine with this, but because I thought he was still interested in me as more than a friend, it took me by surprise, but I agreed to it.<\/p>\n
We continued to talk and hung out once more; however, I had expressed my feelings for him a total of three times, and the third time, he came close to blocking me. Stan had made it very clear to me that he doesn\u2019t reciprocate my feelings, though when we first started talking as friends, I had been optimistic that eventually we could be more than that. The two times that I\u2019ve messaged him since, he\u2019s left me on read, though he sporadically watches my Instagram stories. He\u2019s explained that he\u2019s not ready for a relationship, yet I\u2019ve noticed that he follows numerous women and he\u2019s on a dating app.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s also mentioned that he\u2019s experiencing family issues, but because we\u2019ve only known each other for a few months, I felt that was too personal of a subject for me to provide input on. I\u2019m afraid to initiate a conversation with him because I don\u2019t want to risk arguing and (possibly) consequently losing a friend, but at the same time, I feel like he\u2019s hiding some things from me. I\u2019d like to let him know that he can trust me, but it remains unclear to me as to whether I can trust him or not. The last time Stan and I talked, he asked me to give him space because I was making him uncomfortable, but now I\u2019m wondering if he is just trying to phase me out of his life. That was almost a month and a half ago. Please help. I have no idea what to do about this.<\/p>\n
\u2014Crushed Overthinker<\/p>\n
Dear Crushed Overthinker: <\/p>\n
First things first, respect Stan\u2019s boundaries. He\u2019s explicitly asked you for space and expressed discomfort by your behavior. You can speculate until the cows come home, but I\u2019d take what he\u2019s telling you at face value: that he only sees you as a friend and he\u2019s not ready to be in any relationship.<\/p>\n
You should also reconsider what you want. You have feelings for Stan, sure, but you can\u2019t ignore the signs he\u2019s given you. Would you want to start a relationship with a man who has admitted several times he doesn\u2019t feel romantically toward you anyway? Someone you admit you\u2019re not sure you can even trust?<\/p>\n
Sometimes the best gift we can give others and ourselves is the time and distance to gain clarity and cool off. Whether the space he needs is intended to be a full breakup of your friendship or simply an intermission, only Stan can know and time will tell. Let him come to you and see if salvaging the friendship is possible. In the meanwhile, look elsewhere \u2014 there are plenty of other men who might be interested in you romantically, as long as you\u2019re not obsessed with Stan.<\/p>\n
\u201cOut of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness\u201d is out now! Annie Lane\u2019s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged \u2014 because forgiveness isn\u2019t for them. It\u2019s for you. Visit http:\/\/www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.<\/p>\n
COPYRIGHT 2026 CREATORS.COM <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"(Annie Lane is off this week. The following column first appeared in 2023.) Dear Annie: I\u2019m a 32-year-old…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":103365,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[29373,31058,40046,47202,40049,6212,8978,47203,47204,47205,40055,17783,16858,659,27537,47206,47207,47208,10147,47209,47210,157,8894,10160,10161,47211,31064,47212,47213,660,40064,10962,11487,33033,47214,40067,8639,40069,47215,1066,9,24,1641,7378,2827,63,1232,3419,17995,2836,134,136,135,40079,31082,47216,47217,47218,8983,6095,31085,47219,12985,31086],"class_list":{"0":"post-103364","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-staten-island","8":"tag-20-24-years","9":"tag-25-29-years","10":"tag-adversity","11":"tag-african-ethnicity","12":"tag-arguing","13":"tag-bar","14":"tag-beer","15":"tag-bored","16":"tag-boredom","17":"tag-boyfriend","18":"tag-challenge","19":"tag-close-up","20":"tag-club","21":"tag-color-image","22":"tag-conflict","23":"tag-curly-hair","24":"tag-dating","25":"tag-difficult","26":"tag-disappointment","27":"tag-displeased","28":"tag-drinking","29":"tag-entertainment","30":"tag-food-and-drink","31":"tag-front-view","32":"tag-frustration","33":"tag-girlfriend","34":"tag-head-and-shoulders","35":"tag-head-in-hands","36":"tag-heterosexual-couple","37":"tag-horizontal","38":"tag-ignoring","39":"tag-indoors","40":"tag-jersey-city","41":"tag-leaning","42":"tag-leisure-activity","43":"tag-looking-away","44":"tag-man","45":"tag-mixed-race-person","46":"tag-multi-ethnic-group","47":"tag-new-jersey","48":"tag-new-york","49":"tag-new-york-city","50":"tag-night","51":"tag-nightclub","52":"tag-nightlife","53":"tag-nyc","54":"tag-people","55":"tag-photography","56":"tag-problem","57":"tag-serious","58":"tag-staten-island","59":"tag-staten-island-headlines","60":"tag-staten-island-news","61":"tag-together","62":"tag-two-people","63":"tag-unhappy","64":"tag-weekend-activities","65":"tag-white-wine","66":"tag-wine","67":"tag-woman","68":"tag-young-adult","69":"tag-young-couple","70":"tag-young-men","71":"tag-young-women"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=103364"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103364\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/103365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=103364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=103364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}