Dear Annie: <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been friends with the same group of women since our children were in grade school. We\u2019re now in our late 50s and early 60s, and for years this group has been my main social circle. We\u2019ve shared weddings, divorces, illnesses and losses. I will always value them for that.<\/p>\n
Lately, though, I find myself dreading our get-togethers. The conversation has narrowed to a steady loop of complaints \u2014 about spouses, adult children, politics, health problems, you name it. When I try to change the subject or bring up something positive, it\u2019s brushed aside or met with sarcasm. I leave these lunches feeling drained and oddly guilty for not being as unhappy as everyone else.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to abandon old friends or act superior. At the same time, I\u2019m at a stage of life where I want joy and curiosity. I would never turn down a friend who needs help, but these women aren\u2019t even looking for solutions. They just want someone to complain to.<\/p>\n
Is it disloyal to pull back from this group, even after all we\u2019ve been through together?<\/p>\n
\u2014Ready for a New Chapter<\/p>\n
Dear Ready for a New Chapter: <\/p>\n
History matters, but it is not a life sentence.<\/p>\n
People change. Seasons change. And sometimes a group that carried us through child-rearing years no longer fits the life we\u2019re living now.<\/p>\n
You don\u2019t need a dramatic exit or an explanation. Simply go less often. Suggest different activities. Spend more time with people who leave you feeling lighter instead of smaller.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Annie: I\u2019ve been friends with the same group of women since our children were in grade school.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":132446,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[9,24,63,134,136,135],"class_list":{"0":"post-132445","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-staten-island","8":"tag-new-york","9":"tag-new-york-city","10":"tag-nyc","11":"tag-staten-island","12":"tag-staten-island-headlines","13":"tag-staten-island-news"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=132445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132445\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/132446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=132445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=132445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=132445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}