Ask any fed-up single what the NYC dating scene is like today, and you\u2019ll most likely get the same response \u2014 it\u2019s chaotic, messy and the apps are a drag.<\/p>\n
No one wants to commit. Hookup culture is at full speed. And ghosting is at an all-time high.<\/p>\n
As a result, desperate Big Apple singles are seeking alternatives in their city-wide search for love <\/a>and placing their trust \u2014 and considerable funds \u2014 into the hands of professional matchmakers.<\/p>\n Elliot, a Big Apple-based former attorney turned house-flipper, made a promise to himself that if he were still single by his 40th birthday, he would succumb to handing his love life over to a professional matchmaker. <\/p>\n High-earning Big Apple singles who are becoming increasingly frustrated with the chaotic nature of online dating apps are turning to luxury matchmakers in the search for love. Bostan Natalia \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n After interviewing with three different high-end matchmaking services in late 2020 and early 2021, the now 45-year-old signed up to be a part of the free matchmaking database of London-founded agency Maclynn<\/a> (formerly the Vida Consultancy) to be placed in the agency\u2019s complimentary pool of potential daters, and met with Carly Spindel, half of NYC\u2019s Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking<\/a> mother-daughter team.\u00a0<\/p>\n Though Elliot, who preferred to go by his first name, was initially \u201cmore than willing\u201d to pay the hefty $25,000 fee for a starting contract at the time, he quickly realized the service was \u201ceverything I didn\u2019t want.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe [Carly] was happy to tell me she had a Rolodex of girls with all their pictures and that before she sets them up on a date, if she meets with them in winter, she has them take their jacket off and do a little twirl,\u201d the Upper East Sider told The Post. \u201cI was like, okay, if you can\u2019t get enough from a basic picture and that\u2019s your sales pitch \u2014 really not much else \u2014 that\u2019s not what I was looking for.\u201d<\/p>\n Elliot instead signed on with Three Day Rule<\/a> \u2014 an LA-founded luxe service where singles get paired with a personal matchmaker and coach to match them with a potential suitor based on goals, values and lifestyles, costing around $20,000 for VIP membership, with a recently offered $1 million dating package <\/a>for ultra-VIP clientele.<\/p>\n Elliot met his now-wife, Ali, through Three Day Rule at the hands of matchmaker Kristen Stewart. anthonyvazquez.com<\/p>\n Though he declined to disclose the exact details of his contract (including how many dates he went on and how much he actually spent), he shared that his \u201cinsightful\u201d matchmaker, Kristen Stewart, gave him a wealth of sound advice, \u201ccheerleading\u201d support and dating feedback, eventually matching him with his now-wife and mother of his child in 2023.<\/p>\n Elliot (L) and his wife, Ali (M), posing with the one responsible for bringing them together, matchmaker Kristen Stewart (R).<\/p>\n \u201cWe sent Kristen an invite to our wedding,\u201d Elliot told The Post. \u201cShe even came to our apartment shortly after we got married\u2026It wasn\u2019t just, \u2018Okay, I found you a girl and now we\u2019re done.\u2019 She was phenomenal the whole way through.\u201d<\/p>\n Aside from weaning through NYC\u2019s sad pool of singles, what exactly does a costly matchmaker contract buy someone?<\/p>\n Bonnie Winston<\/a>, one of NYC\u2019s most sought-after professional cupids, whose six and twelve-month contracts start at $60,000 and can balloon up to $200,000, keeps clergy-type hours to appease her tight Rolodex of affluent clients, who include everyone from millionaires to A-list celebrities.<\/p>\n Between deploying custom hair and makeup teams to clients\u2019 homes before dates, virtually vetting potential suitors, making them \u201cstand up over Zoom,\u201d and even connecting some singles with trained psychotherapists, the 25-year industry veteran is proud to serve at love\u2019s constant beck and call.<\/p>\n Top NYC matchmaker Bonnie Winston charges up to $200K for her services.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can call me at midnight,\u201d Winston told The Post. \u201cSay you\u2019re on a date and you\u2019re in the bathroom, going, \u2018Should I go home with him?\u2019 I\u2019m going to tell you \u2018yes\u2019 or \u2018no\u2019\u2026 A lot of things that happen when you\u2019re a matchmaker don\u2019t take place from nine to five. They happen when the date\u2019s happening.\u201d<\/p>\n Winston, who describes her main client base as \u201cwomen who have lost love through death, divorce, or disappointment,\u201d generally prefers to work with this group because she finds that higher-earning women are more often searching for a meaningful connection, rather than a match-after-match dating service.\u00a0<\/p>\n Whereas male clients are continuously on the hunt for their perfect match, sometimes for the wrong reasons.<\/p>\n \u201cI called [a male client] and asked how it went,\u201d Winston explained. \u201cHe said, \u2018\u2026 she was beautiful inside and out, just my type\u2026So, who else do you have?\u2019 It was crushing.\u201d<\/p>\n And with high-paying clients come some wild asks.<\/p>\n One asked only to be set up with Travis Kelce and Brad Pitt look-a-likes, \u201cYou\u2019re very attractive, but do you think you\u2019re Angelina Jolie?\u201d Winston said in response. Another had a list of 15 \u201cmust-haves.\u201d <\/p>\n Winston shared that her most successful clients are those who use her services with realistic expectations \u2014 even if they have budgets most could only dream of.<\/p>\n Charles, a 39-year-old cybersecurity professional, found his perfect match by following this advice when working with the NYC-based Matched by Quality<\/a> team, run by siblings Melissa and Nick Rosen<\/a>.<\/p>\n Nick Rosen, an up-and-coming matchmaker for Gotham\u2019s high-earning singles, is half of the Matched by Quality team.<\/p>\n Though Charles, who declined to share his real name, initially signed up for a coaching package for $5,000, after a few months, he upgraded to a full-blown matchmaking contract, which included six dates in total, \u201cwingman\u201d hangouts, where Nick would personally accompany Charles on nights out, and even hypnotherapy sessions with Melissa, who has formal certification in the practice, for a little over $30,000.<\/p>\n \u201cI work in cybersecurity, so my job is literally patterns and risk. Dating in New York was the opposite of that \u2014 a lot of noise,\u201d the New Yorker told The Post. I wasn\u2019t having trouble getting dates, but I kept ending up at the same place.\u201d<\/p>\n Explaining how he would solely chase looks before soliciting matchmaking, \u201cI wasted a lot of time and money on first dates that ended up going nowhere because we had nothing in common besides the initial attraction,\u201d the Manhattanite explained.<\/p>\n Charles decided to use Matched by Quality\u2019s services because he was looking for a deeper connection. Anucha \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n \u201cI [decided] to treat it like any other problem \u2014 bring in someone who knows the terrain better than you. It was as simple as that.\u201d<\/p>\n But something not as simple was receiving the no-nonsense feedback from the professionals.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was direct, even sometimes uncomfortable \u2014 like a good trainer, no fluff,\u201d explained the 39-year-old. \u201cSome of the feedback stung, but it was accurate\u2026 Like, I didn\u2019t know I was constantly checking my phone on dates until they told me. That was humbling.\u201d<\/p>\n While the matchmaking contract included six dates in total, Charles ended up meeting his now-girlfriend during one of Nick\u2019s \u201cwingman sessions\u201d after five and has since paused his contract, which can be put on hold up to a year. He is currently \u201creally happy with where things are at.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI met some great women who were very attractive,\u201d the cyber-security professional noted.\u201cI honestly learned a lot about myself. My [now-partner] keeps me on my toes, but there\u2019s a warmth there I really wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n But not every high-paying client is as lucky as Charles.<\/p>\n After feeling as though she\u2019d exhausted dating apps and was fed up with the \u201cfling culture\u201d\u00a0of online dating, Hillary LaReau, a 40-year-old Colorado-based emergency nurse practitioner, attempted to find love through Tawkify, \u201ca professional service that would intricately weed through the masses to find serious potential matches that had similar interests and aspirations as me,\u201d the single explained to The Post.<\/p>\n Hillary LaReau didn\u2019t have much luck with her hand at matchmaking.<\/p>\n While the company doesn\u2019t reveal its prices online, LaReau disclosed to The Post that she \u201cinitially paid $4,200 for three matches.\u00a0After that was unsuccessful, I decided to buy three more at the same cost.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI believed my matchmaker when she said they were working hard to find men that would be a good fit for me, my lifestyle, and aspirations,\u201d the frustrated 40-year-old told The Post.<\/p>\n But after a series of excruciatingly bad dates for almost a year in 2024, it became increasingly clear to LaReau that the screening process was not as involved as she\u2019d been promised \u2014 or had hoped for.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think there is much \u2018matching\u2019 going on \u2014 more finding men that met a few requested criteria,\u201d she explained. \u201cI also made multiple requests for them to take their time, but I suppose that would not be good for business.\u00a0There was very little time taken.\u201d<\/p>\n Amy Van Doran, founder of NYC\u2019s Modern Love Club, describes dating as a \u201cvulnerable process\u201d that should be handled with care and discretion. Pascal Perich<\/p>\n According to matchmaking vet Amy Doran<\/a>, founder of NYC\u2019s Modern Love Club<\/a>, \u201cDating is such a vulnerable process\u201d that should be handled carefully and thoughtfully by love experts such as herself, especially when clients are paying upwards of $100,000.<\/p>\n Doran, who\u2019s personally interviewed more than 20,000 potential matches over her 19-year tenure for her elite clients, told The Post, \u201cWhen you\u2019re dealing with high-net-worth clients or celebrities, you want to make good matches with people who aren\u2019t just wanting to be with someone because they are famous or wealthy.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n To find the yin to her prestigious clients\u2019 yang, Doran and her team of 10 do everything from draw upon their personal networks of contacts, scour a singles database, which daters who can\u2019t cough up the cash to become a client may enter for free, throw singles mixers and even recruit attractive strangers while out and about.\u00a0<\/p>\n She also frequently taps into the networks of her fellow matchmakers \u2014 a common practice among the luxury practitioners The Post interviewed.<\/p>\n Licensed therapist and author Dr. Kim Van Dusen assures singles that pricey matchmaking services are not the only avenue to finding love. Wedding photography \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n \u201cGreat matchmakers are great collaborators,\u201d said Doran. \u201cIf I meet someone, I may be like, \u2018I think you\u2019re amazing \u2014 I don\u2019t think I have matches for you but here\u2019s this [other person]. That way we can send them to the matchmaker who\u2019s the best fit for them\u2026It\u2019s like trading baseball cards.\u201d<\/p>\n