{"id":17249,"date":"2025-10-26T13:23:25","date_gmt":"2025-10-26T13:23:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/17249\/"},"modified":"2025-10-26T13:23:25","modified_gmt":"2025-10-26T13:23:25","slug":"happy-un-halloween-a-candy-cynics-guide-to-trick-or-treating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/17249\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Un-Halloween: A candy cynic\u2019s guide to trick-or-treating"},"content":{"rendered":"

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. \u2014 Every Halloween, I go for the sugar-shock factor. Not the gore \u2014 I keep it real to my life\u2019s food commitment with culinary couture. One year I was an Oreo. Another, a cow. The udders were disturbingly realistic, and I learned a lot that year\u2014mostly never to be a cow again.<\/p>\n

I almost went as an elephant this year\u2014get it? I\u2019d be the elephant in the room! But then I thought\u2026 this could get political. And those of us in the writing profession with an occasional sense of humor are already misunderstood. I can just hear it now, \u201cHey, Big Gal. Does your trunk lean to the left or right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"BeezyBeing a bee with Igor Yaklov at Beezy Bees in Mariners Harbor at Sweet Brook Nursery. (Advance\/SILive.com | Pamela Silvestri)<\/p>\n

So, right after Halloween last year I took my cue from the bees. I bought not one, not two, but three bee costumes. One\u2019s a buzz. Two? Taking a line from an old Almond Joy ad here \u2014 because sometimes you feel like a nut. And a pack of three? It becomes a full-blown swarm of killer bees. I brought them all to a family reunion and after a bunch of wine it pollinated a good time.<\/p>\n

I test-drove the look during a Facebook Live at Igor Yaklev\u2019s Beezy Bees,<\/a> right as pumpkin lattes made their seasonal debut. It was an empowering experience \u2014 Queen Bee right there in Mariners Harbor talking up food all deadpan. <\/p>\n

\"Donuts\"Halloween-themed donuts by talented Maria Yandoli can be found at Heartland Bagels 2 in Rossville. <\/p>\n

Relevant Fun Fact: Pamela means \u201csweet as honey\u201d in Greek. So clearly, this year\u2019s bee theme isn\u2019t just a costume\u2014it\u2019s a prophecy. If SNL were funny again, this would be a full-on nostalgic skit channeling one\u2019s inner John Belushi and Elliott Gould. Badum bum.<\/p>\n

\"Pumpkin\"During COVID, here was a bit of pumpkin humor.<\/p>\n

But anyway \u2014 Halloween isn\u2019t just about costumes. And for those of you who came here to read about food: it\u2019s about candy. Specifically, leftover candy you have no idea what to do with.<\/p>\n

For those of us who grew up in the \u201970s, there\u2019s a conversation starter baked right in: Do we mourn the loss of apples with pennies and nickels inside? Nothing screams \u201cHalloween nostalgia\u201d louder at the kitchen table like biting into produce and finding loose change \u2014 or fearing razor blades, for that classic suburban horror trope vibe. (Eek.)<\/p>\n

\"TottenvilleCandy corn is turned into a martini at Dani’s Bistro in Tottenville. Pamela Silvestri<\/p>\n

Connecting to Your Inner Candy Cynic<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s talk strategy:<\/p>\n

Put out candy you hate. I promise you will not eat it.Or put out candy people actually want. Donn\u2019t worry: they\u2019ll bite.Post \u201cHours of Operation\u201d to give off DMV vibes. Hide inside with an airhorn.Put of a bucket o\u2019 rules: \u201cTake one\u201d is too nice. Try: \u201cTake two or I\u2019ll bite your head off. Tee hee.\u201d Or \u201cHave mustache, won\u2019t treat.\u201dInstall a fake security camera. Or duct-tape a baby monitor to a tree. <\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s about it. I\u2019m saving the rest of my word energy for a swarm of bee jokes this weekend.<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re dressed just like me or transformed into a snack-sized cynic, just remember: A moment on the lips is forever on the hips \u2014 and possibly in your freezer until next year\u2019s Halloween fun.<\/p>\n

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