{"id":204488,"date":"2026-04-21T09:41:36","date_gmt":"2026-04-21T09:41:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/204488\/"},"modified":"2026-04-21T09:41:36","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T09:41:36","slug":"heres-why-queen-elizabeth-and-prince-philip-rarely-held-hands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/204488\/","title":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s Why Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip Rarely Held Hands"},"content":{"rendered":"

Queen Elizabeth II<\/a> and Prince Philip were married for 73 years, but they were far from affectionate, at least when they had an audience. The pair rarely held hands in public. They didn\u2019t even kiss in public on their wedding day! Yet the love story between the late queen and her Prince Charming was a fairy-tale one, outlasting the marriages of three of their children.<\/p>\n

So what gives? Why didn\u2019t they loosen up and show some public displays of affection? It turns out there\u2019s a very valid reason, according to a new book by royal author Ian Lloyd. Ahead, I dig into the story and talk to Maria Coole, a Daily Mail reporter and the editor of The Royal List newsletter, about the couple\u2019s enduring relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Why didn\u2019t Elizabeth and\u00a0Philip\u00a0ever hold hands?<\/p>\n

\"PrincessPA Images\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

They simply would never have considered it. It was a very different time, and according to Lloyd\u2019s new book, The Queen: 70 Chapters in the Life of Queen Elizabeth II, their lack of PDA was \u201chardly a surprise since Philip had never been shown much affection from his parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Born on June 10, 1921, in Corfu, Greece, Philip was the fifth child and only son of Prince Andrew of Greece and Princess Alice. When he was 18 months old, his family was exiled and fled to Paris. He would never again experience a stable home life: Alice had a nervous breakdown and went into an institution, his sisters married German princes, and Philip was sent to school in the U.K. Before Andrew\u2019s death in 1944, Philip spent five years estranged from his father.<\/p>\n

In 1939, the year Philip and his father lost contact,\u00a0then-Princess Elizabeth<\/a> first met her future husband, during a visit to the Royal Naval College. She \u201cnever took her eyes off him the whole time,\u201d her governess, Marion Crawford, later wrote. But you\u2019d never know it once they started seeing each other.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen their relationship finally blossomed during the summer of 1946, the couple gave few clues away, even to those close to them,\u201d Lloyd writes. \u201cPeter Ashmore, the king\u2019s equerry, recalled Philip\u2019s three-week stay at Balmoral, when the couple came to what Philip called \u2018an understanding,’\u201d he continues. \u201cThey certainly did not drool over each other \u2026 They scarcely held hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even in later years, Philip would favor formality over familiarity in public. Lloyd explains that Philip\u2019s private secretary and friend, Mike Parker, tried to encourage him to show some affection to his wife in public. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t wear his heart on his sleeve,\u201d Parker said in 1992, according to Lloyd. \u201cI always wanted to see him put his arms around the queen and show her how much he adored her,\u201d Parker went on. \u201cWhat you\u2019d do for any wife. But he always sort of stood to attention. I mentioned it to him a couple of times. But he just gave me a hell of a look.\u201d<\/p>\n

Was that the only reason for their lack of PDA?<\/p>\n

No. It was also simply not done back then. \u201cYou have to remember, it was a very different time,\u201d Coole says. \u201cOnce Elizabeth came to the throne in 1952, if she\u2019d been seen holding hands with Philip at formal events, royal protocol would have been aghast. Their generation did not do public displays of affection, and how royals behaved in public was strictly orchestrated.\u201d<\/p>\n

Plus, the queen prided herself on being inscrutable when she was attending formal events, explains Coole: \u201cShe rarely cracked a smile<\/a>, and Philip would stand ramrod straight.\u201d<\/p>\n

While there is no official rule saying you can\u2019t show affection, royal protocol means it\u2019s understood that it should be kept to a minimum while working, she says. That\u2019s why Charles and Camilla and William and Kate are rarely snapped holding hands when they are working. \u201cThey are there in a professional capacity, so they are shaking hands with people and greeting the public,\u201d she says. \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t work if they\u2019re wandering around locked together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWilliam and Kate<\/a> do show more affection than Charles and Camilla and much more than the queen and Philip, as do Harry and Meghan, but much of that is generational,\u201d she says. However, Coole notes, there were occasions when the formality cracked. In 1999, Philip was snapped giving the queen a kiss on the cheek at the New Year\u2019s Eve celebrations in London. \u201cThe queen\u2019s smile was lovely,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Did Elizabeth mind this lack of PDA?<\/p>\n

No, not at all. \u201cElizabeth was emotionally controlled, and the fact he wasn\u2019t all over her was something she quite liked,\u201d Lloyd explains. A former royal butler, Paul Burrell, also revealed a saying that they had at Buckingham Palace<\/a> about the queen\u2019s priorities: \u201cHorses, dogs, husbands and kids, and that was the pecking order,\u201d he said on The Secret To podcast. \u201cEven the horses came before her husband.\u201d<\/p>\n

But that did not mean the couple was not in love, says Coole\u2014far from it. \u201cThey just didn\u2019t need to show it in public,\u201d she says. \u201cIt was different behind palace walls.\u201d<\/p>\n

Were Philip and Elizabeth affectionate in private?<\/p>\n

\"QueenTim Graham\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

Absolutely. \u201cPictures and letters from their private life tell a very different story,\u201d says Coole. Despite not giving a balcony kiss at their wedding in 1947 (Charles and Diana<\/a> would be the first to do this, in 1981), the couple was enraptured in private.<\/p>\n

After the wedding, Philip wrote in a letter to the Queen Mother: \u201cLilibet is the only thing in the world which is absolutely real to me, and my ambition is to weld the two of us into a new combined existence that will not only be able to withstand the shocks directed at us but will have a positive existence for the good. Cherish Lilibet? I wonder if that word is enough to express what is in me.\u201d<\/p>\n

And while their formal photos<\/a> show them standing side by side, informal snaps often captured them arm in arm, picnicking at Balmoral and playing with their children. \u201cYou can see the love in their eyes, right to the end,\u201d says Coole.<\/p>\n

What was their love language?<\/p>\n

One word: Lilibet. \u201cPhilip called Elizabeth her pet name throughout her life,\u201d says Maria. He also had another adorable nickname<\/a> for her: cabbage. This was seen on screen in the 2006 movie The Queen. \u201cI enquired in royal circles and was told on very good authority that that is what the duke sometimes calls the queen,\u201d movie screenwriter Peter Morgan told The Times.<\/p>\n

They rarely spoke about each other, but when they did, it was extremely moving. Proof of the queen\u2019s enduring love for Philip came in her 1997 Golden Wedding speech, when she said, \u201cHe is someone who doesn\u2019t take easily to compliments but he has, quite simply, been my strength and stay all these years, and I, and his whole family, and this and many other countries, owe him a debt greater than he would ever claim, or we shall ever know.\u201d<\/p>\n

After he passed away in April 2021, the queen said in her Christmas message<\/a> that year, \u201cIn the months since the death of my beloved Philip, I have drawn great comfort from the warmth and affection of the many tributes to his life and work. His sense of service, intellectual curiosity and capacity to squeeze fun out of any situation were all irrepressible. That mischievous, enquiring twinkle was as bright at the end as when I first set eyes on him.\u201d If that\u2019s not the language of love, we don\u2019t know what is.<\/p>\n

Of course, each generation\u2019s love language<\/a> is different. The queen and Philip were part of the Silent Generation\u2014people born from 1928 to 1945, during times of global strife and economic hardship. Gestures and gifts were not about extravagance but were dignified, thoughtful and meaningful. In the words of the queen, \u201cWe see our own children and their families embrace the roles, traditions and values that mean so much to us, as these are passed from one generation to the next, sometimes being updated for changing times. I see it in my own family, and it is a source of great happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

RELATED:<\/p>\n

About the expert<\/p>\n

Maria Coole is an experienced journalist and editor who works for the Daily Mail. She is also co-editor of the popular The Royal List newsletter and podcast on Substack and writes extensively about the royal family.<\/p>\n

Why trust us<\/p>\n

Reader\u2019s Digest has published hundreds of stories on the British royal family, providing a behind-the-scenes look at the fascinating facets of the monarchy. We regularly cover topics including the latest royal news, the history and meaning behind time-honored traditions, and the everyday quirks of everyone\u2019s favorite family members, from Queen Elizabeth\u2019s daily snack to Prince William\u2019s confessions about his home life. We\u2019re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers\u2019 personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team<\/a>, our contributors and our editorial policies<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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