For Mother\u2019s Day, we asked New York Times readers to share their moms\u2019 go-to sayings. More than 5,000 of you wrote in with adages that were wise, moving and often funny \u2014 from the golden rule to the importance of always wearing clean underwear.<\/p>\n
Scroll down to read a few dozen of our favorites, which have been edited for length and clarity. Some classic aphorisms came up so many times that we couldn\u2019t choose just one example.<\/p>\n
If any of these wise words remind you of your mother, we\u2019ve added a feature so you can easily share them.<\/p>\n
\u2018Always make new mistakes!\u2019 <\/p>\n
When I was a kid, I thought she was saying it was OK to make mistakes. As I grew older, I came to appreciate the deeper meaning: Learn from the mistakes you make, and don\u2019t keep making old ones! <\/p>\n
Rashmi Nanjundaswamy, 49, Fremont, Calif. <\/p>\n
\u2018Don\u2019t waste reality in chase of a dream.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mum always encourages me to look at what\u2019s tangible. We are too often focused on the next thing instead of the reality we\u2019re already living, which can be a dream in itself.<\/p>\n
Mica Keeney, 34, Brooklyn, N.Y. <\/p>\n
\u2018I never promised you a rose garden.\u2019 <\/p>\n
She said it whenever I complained that life was not fair, such as after my parents\u2019 divorce.<\/p>\n
Trish Brovedani, 58, Oakland, Calif. <\/p>\n
\u2018Why be like everyone else?\u2019 <\/p>\n
It helped me figure out how to be myself when I was the oddball wanting to be part of the popular girl clique in middle school. <\/p>\n
Suzanne Castillo, 56, San Francisco<\/p>\n
\u2018You never regret tipping too much.\u2019 <\/p>\n
She taught me that being kind was most important.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Swiller, 77, Woodbury, N.Y.<\/p>\n
\u2018It\u2019ll quilt out.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Mom was a quilter, as am I. If there was a small mistake in a quilt project, once the final stitches were in and the project was washed, no one would ever see the problem. Most things just don\u2019t have to be perfect.<\/p>\n
Laura Falk, 57, St. Louis<\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018This too shall pass.\u2019 \u2018We don\u2019t hate peas. We hate Hitler.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My parents were Holocaust survivors. We were taught to reserve \u201chate\u201d for true evil, not the trivial. It was also such a ridiculous statement that it made me laugh about life\u2019s irritations and not take things so seriously. <\/p>\n
Marci J. Swede, 58, Middleborough, Mass.<\/p>\n
\u2018The day starts the night before.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It meant you had to be ready for tomorrow before you went to bed. <\/p>\n
Marilyn Escobedo, 81, San Antonio<\/p>\n
\u2018Christmas doesn\u2019t just happen!\u2019 <\/p>\n
Her point was everybody in the family had jobs to do to get ready for Christmas. We griped, but we worked. <\/p>\n
Kevin McNamara, 66, Arvada, Colo. <\/p>\n
\u2018There is no fail. You either win or you learn.\u2019 <\/p>\n
This phrase was truly a necessity for me when I went away to college. It allowed me to reframe my scary, new experiences as something I could gain knowledge from, regardless of whether I \u201csucceeded\u201d or not.<\/p>\n
Eleanor Lavender, 21, Asheville, N.C. <\/p>\n
\u2018You can\u2019t eat prestige.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Meaning all work is noble, deserving your best efforts.<\/p>\n
Joseph Urgo, 70, Canal Fulton, Ohio<\/p>\n
\u2018Always be kinder than you feel.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s been a good reminder to give people grace and remember that we\u2019re all doing our best.<\/p>\n
Kate Woodward, 42, Chicago<\/p>\n
\u2018No one is born a mother. It\u2019s on-the-job training.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I never heard my mother criticize my brothers\u2019 wives in their child-rearing. Her mantra taught us to simply keep our mouths shut and just be supportive. <\/p>\n
Mary Alice Schiller, 58, Randolph, N.J.<\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.\u2019 \u2018See the light in others. Treat them as if that\u2019s all you see.\u2019 <\/p>\n
To her, a moment of poor judgment or difficult behavior was not the sum of someone\u2019s character. <\/p>\n
Katherine Austin-Evelyn, 40, New York City<\/p>\n
\u2018All people bring joy: some by coming, some by going!\u2019 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s such a lighthearted way to reframe interactions with difficult people. Always makes me laugh! <\/p>\n
Michelle Pauk, 42, Franklin, Tenn. <\/p>\n
\u2018The world is full of lifters and leaners. Make sure you\u2019re a lifter and stay away from the leaners!\u2019 <\/p>\n
A good reminder to lift people up instead of using them to lean on. <\/p>\n
Meghan Cussick, 44, Paradise Valley, Ariz. <\/p>\n
\u2018Take tarts when tarts are passed.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It taught me to take opportunities when they are available and was often spoken with a little sass, as in \u201cDon\u2019t come crying to me when all the tarts are gone!\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa Pollard, 63, Eden Prairie, Minn. <\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018Nothing good happens after midnight.\u2019 \u2018Soap and water is cheap.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My parents didn\u2019t have money for fancy sneakers, backpacks or winter coats. Mom made sure everything we had was mended, clean and ironed. You might not have much, but it was no excuse to be dirty.<\/p>\n
Mary Maresca, 57, Knoxville, Tenn. <\/p>\n
\u2018Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig loves it.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I still live by this adage she offered when any of us dealt with toxic friendships, marital strife or workplace drama. Works like a charm.<\/p>\n
Allison McCarthy, 50, St. Petersburg, Fla. <\/p>\n
\u2018\u5c11\u5403,\u591a\u6ecb\u5473\u2019 <\/p>\n
\u201cEat less, taste more.\u201d At a time of scarcity of food during the war, mother used to say her motto to us at meal time. <\/p>\n
Christa Shih, 92, New York City<\/p>\n
\u2018It\u2019s never too late to start your day over.\u2019 <\/p>\n
No matter the setback, my mom always ended every difficult conversation with this call to action. It was a reminder to change our mindset and open ourselves up to the joys of what could come next.<\/p>\n
Isaac Spanjer, 25, Minneapolis<\/p>\n
\u2018A hard head makes a soft behind.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Being stubborn, stupid or not heeding wise counsel can have negative consequences.<\/p>\n
Michelle Moore, 71, Charlottesville, Va. <\/p>\n
\u2018Lay on in that pee.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mom is from a Southern Black family. She would say this when someone created a difficult situation and had to deal with it. <\/p>\n
Jana Rickerson, 65, San Francisco<\/p>\n
\u2018’Twere no sadder words than should have, could have or would have.\u2019 <\/p>\n
For me, it meant \u201cGo for it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Deborah Skelly, 68, Holyoke, Mass. <\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018Don\u2019t borrow trouble.\u2019 \u2018The tone makes the music.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Throughout my life, it taught me that context is just as important as content. <\/p>\n
Dawn Norris Doak, 50, New Canaan, Conn.<\/p>\n
\u2018If you can\u2019t hide it, decorate it.\u2019 <\/p>\n
You\u2019d be surprised how many circumstances you can use it for \u2014 work products, food, home decor.<\/p>\n
Stephanie Robert, 59, Madison, Wisc.<\/p>\n
\u2018Don\u2019t put your crazy on the front porch.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Family drama stays indoors. Southerners have plenty of crazy in the family, but ideally we keep it out of view.<\/p>\n
Lynn Morton, 68, Pittsboro, N.C.<\/p>\n
\u2018Life\u2019s uncertain. Eat dessert first.\u2019 <\/p>\n
We don\u2019t always have to be working for some future reward that might never arrive. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to choose joy in the moment.<\/p>\n
Kristy Buzard, 47, Syracuse, N.Y.<\/p>\n
\u2018Put on a little lipstick; you\u2019ll feel better.\u2019 <\/p>\n
As a teenager in the late 1970s, with my teenage problems and my eye on college and career, this seemed so old school. Now, at almost 63, I get it, body and soul.<\/p>\n
Margaret Marangione, 62, Shenandoah, Va. <\/p>\n
\u2018We all spend it differently.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I think of this often as I spend plenty for help with a large garden while driving a 21-year-old car, never going on a cruise, not owning a boat, clipping grocery coupons, eating some at resturants but relatively frugally. <\/p>\n
Malcolm Cochran, 77, Columbus, Ohio<\/p>\n
\u2018Knock with your elbows.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It meant show up at a friend\u2019s place burdened with contributions for the party.<\/p>\n
Natalie Serber, 64, Portland, Ore. <\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018Pretty is as pretty does.\u2019 \u2018Better to wear out than rust out.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Having had polio, my mother\u2019s inclination was toward motion, in which she often was a blur. She could best her three daughters in sports and accomplish more in a day than all of us combined.<\/p>\n
Catherine R. Seeley, 78, Easton, Md. <\/p>\n
\u2018Life begins outside your comfort zone.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s reminded me to challenge myself and not take the path most traveled. <\/p>\n
Harry McBride, 30, Spartanburg, S.C. <\/p>\n
\u2018Double the liquor and dim the lights.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Convinced me to never worry about how perfect the house was before a party. Our friends would never care!<\/p>\n
Kathy Cote, 64, Cape Cod, Mass. <\/p>\n
\u2018Always leave the kitchen cleaner than you found it.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I take it as a challenge to take responsibility for those who came before us and those coming after us. It is not enough to simply complete a given task; we should all do what we can to help each other. <\/p>\n
Rebecca Boucher, 65, Salt Point, N.Y.<\/p>\n
\u2018Rain makes you beautiful.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It taught me to enjoy rain rather than be annoyed by it and to take little misadventures with equanimity. In my bleak periods, it\u2019s been kind of a mantra, to tell myself that there is something better ahead. <\/p>\n
Laura Warfield, 66, Collingswood, N.J.<\/p>\n
\u2018Grab it and growl.\u2019 <\/p>\n
She was a tough Southern mom who always expected my sisters and me to do our best at everything. She wanted us to attack problems with intensity, bravery and an unwavering desire to succeed.<\/p>\n
Roxann Gund, 40, Atlanta<\/p>\n
\u2018Whenever you wake up, that\u2019s your dawn.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It means the dawning realization can only happen once you\u2019ve awoken to the truth. It helps with feelings of regret. \u201cI should have known better or done better\u201d doesn\u2019t apply, because you just didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
Shifa Panwala, 38, Toronto<\/p>\n
\u2018Put your brain in gear before engaging the mouth.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I was a bit of a smart aleck, mouthy kid.<\/p>\n
Greg Schulte, 63, Pagosa Springs, Colo. <\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018There\u2019s a lid for every pot.\u2019 \u2018Never try out a new recipe on guests.\u2019 <\/p>\n
I\u2019m an avid dinner host, and this has served me well. In times when I thought I could skip this advice, I regretted it. <\/p>\n
Janet Cassidy, 59, Columbus, Ohio<\/p>\n
\u2018Never pay retail.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mom was a tough negotiator and realized absolutely everything is negotiable in life. <\/p>\n
Suzi Guardia, 58, Washington, D.C. <\/p>\n
\u2018Complaint department in the basement.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Although we lived in Los Angeles in a house with no basement, my mother adopted this statement from my aunt who lived in New York. It meant that my mother wasn\u2019t having any of our whining about what our perceived problem of the moment was.<\/p>\n
Lee Gale Gruen, 84, Walnut Creek, Calif.<\/p>\n
\u2018I\u2019m in your pocket.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Mom always said this to me, and it made me feel safe. Now that she is gone, I hear her in my mind\u2019s ear and know she is still always with me.<\/p>\n
Julie Lewis, 70, Providence, R.I.<\/p>\n
\u2018The grass will soon turn to milk.\u2019 <\/p>\n
The cows eat the grass, then produce milk. Patience, child. It takes time to get to the end product. This was her mother\u2019s saying (my maternal grandmother) and helped me get through a summer of healing a broken foot, among other speed bumps in life. <\/p>\n
Erin Rivero, 40, Oakland, Calif. <\/p>\n
\u2018A man riding by on a fast horse would never notice.\u2019 <\/p>\n
She used to say this whenever I complained that something wasn\u2019t perfect. It taught me to always remember that \u201cgood enough\u201d is good enough.<\/p>\n
Susan Moxon, 81, San Diego<\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018If you can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say anything at all.\u2019 \u2018If you can\u2019t say anything nice … sit next to me.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mother was a total gem but also a bit of a rascal. <\/p>\n
Patty Lindley, 56, Seattle<\/p>\n
\u2018Nothing beats a failure but a try.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s helped me take chances in life and ask for things I want because you never know if you\u2019ll get what you desire if you don\u2019t go for it. <\/p>\n
Ashley Chandler, 38, Leander, Texas<\/p>\n
\u2018Tout passe et tout s\u2019efface, sauf les souvenirs.\u2019 <\/p>\n
\u201cEverything passes and everything fades away, except memories.\u201d I find myself using my Haitian mom\u2019s saying whenever someone frets over something of little importance.<\/p>\n
Babette Wainwright, 73, Madison, Wisc. <\/p>\n
classic momism<\/p>\n
\u2018Many hands make light work.\u2019 \u2018Some days are diamonds.\u2019 <\/p>\n
This saying helped me realize that life would always be full of good days and bad days, and behind every bad day there was a good one waiting to shine through. <\/p>\n
Paula Gallant, 61, Hamilton, Ontario<\/p>\n
\u2018If you don\u2019t go, you won\u2019t have the story to tell.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mom was a courageous woman, and her motto reminds me to take the chance, find value in the experience no matter the result, and have faith I will come out the other side with my story.<\/p>\n
Jif Dowd, 69, Willseyville, N.Y.<\/p>\n
\u2018Don\u2019t run after a streetcar that doesn\u2019t want to stop for you.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It is the most sage advice for dating, friendship and any instance that\u2019s just not meant to be.<\/p>\n
Shaari Gross Cohen, 47, Chappaqua, N.Y.<\/p>\n
\u2018Time wounds all heels.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Her spin on the classic \u201ctime heals all wounds,\u201d whether it was due to a breakup or a slight. And one that I use with my own children.<\/p>\n
Laura Lilienfield, 68, Irvington, N.Y. <\/p>\n
\u2018If you can\u2019t believe in God, believe in goodness. It\u2019s the same thing.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Her \u201cMickey-isms\u201d got me through many tricky moments in my life. So many that I had the phrase \u201cbelieve in goodness\u201d tattooed on my ankle when I turned 50.<\/p>\n
Anita J. Finkelstein Temple, 59, Atlanta<\/p>\n
\u2018Don\u2019t push the river.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Now I say this to friends \u2014 stop striving and forcing outcomes, trust the natural flow of life, let go and stay present.<\/p>\n
Julie Merrick, 56, Olympia, Wash. <\/p>\n
\u2018The way to a friend\u2019s house is never far.\u2019 <\/p>\n
My mom has always valued and invested in friendships. I have learned how to be a good friend from her. <\/p>\n
Margie Cader, 54, Toronto<\/p>\n
\u2018Sing out, Louise!\u2019 <\/p>\n
To my mom, this line from the musical \u201cGypsy\u201d meant always let your presence be known. Make a choice, be specific and carpe diem. \u201cCurtain up, light the lights!\u201d <\/p>\n
Jonathan Cobrda, 35, New York City<\/p>\n
\u2018Never pass up an opportunity to pee.\u2019 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s very true, especially on road trips, but it also has a deeper meaning in my life: Take care of something when you get the chance.<\/p>\n
Cari Stoltz, 42, Richland Center, Wisc. <\/p>\n
\u2018You have to make your free throws.\u2019 <\/p>\n
Growing up, my mom and I spent hundreds of hours watching basketball together. She was really hammering the point of being prepared and controlling the controllables, no matter how much chaos life throws at you. <\/p>\n
Ned Storer, 24, Arlington, Va.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"For Mother\u2019s Day, we asked New York Times readers to share their moms\u2019 go-to sayings. More than 5,000…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":226217,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[53964,31642,9,11,10,233,3467],"class_list":["post-226216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-new-york","tag-families-and-family-life","tag-mothers-day","tag-new-york","tag-new-york-headlines","tag-new-york-news","tag-parenting","tag-vis-design"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=226216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226216\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/226217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=226216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=226216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=226216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}