Nepo babies provoke a unique brand of ire. Fittingly, they seem to bring out the toddler in many of us; a foot-stamping tantrum sense of but that\u2019s not fair. These privileged golden children are born into guaranteed luxury and opportunity they haven\u2019t worked for, and \u2013 we are convinced, despite never having met them \u2013 do not deserve.<\/p>\n
Some nepo babies attract fury by lazing around on constant holidays, or securing starring roles far beyond their skill set, others because they indulge in wild-eyed, consequence-free party lifestyles. Brooklyn Beckham<\/a> does it by making sandwiches.<\/p>\n This week he uploaded another of his infamous cooking tutorials to social media, where he turned his hand to \u2013 don\u2019t be too proud to Google if you haven\u2019t heard of it \u2013 burger and chips. He did them in that order, too: first he cooked the burger, and then, when he was finished, he cooked the chips. So, cold burger and chips, then.<\/p>\n For the uninitiated, you\u2019ll have to take my word that this is an accurate description of events, not snark or a joke. But it is entirely factual to report that Beckham has previously uploaded instructional videos on how to make pesto pasta, a jacket potato with cheese and beans, and an omelette. He has guided viewers through the process of creating a tuna sandwich, an egg sandwich and a cheese toastie, for which he used a blowtorch. His oeuvre is much debated online; theories range from it being satire to rage-bait. The truth appears to be much more simple. It\u2019s real.<\/p>\n Whether the outcome of nature or nurture, Beckham\u2019s confidence should be studied in a lab. It\u2019s as though he has negative feedback blindness; the mean comments and piss-take pastiches (including one where a guy earnestly chefsplains how to add milk to cereal) are water off a duck\u2019s back. It doesn\u2019t feel like arrogance, or entitlement, more \u2026 enlightenment. No, I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m using that word either. Obviously, it helps that he doesn\u2019t have to worry about anything as tawdry as earning a living, but Beckham has found what fulfils him, and as a result, attained true freedom. He is immune to opinion. Routinely slammed, blasted and ridiculed, he just keeps doing what he enjoys, utterly unruffled, his enthusiasm and passion never dimmed.<\/p>\n We should probably all try to be a bit more Beckham. Still not joking. Here are five things I\u2019d do, if I had his confidence:<\/p>\n Dance like no one\u2019s watching<\/p>\n I\u2019ve never done karaoke sober. Has anyone? I\u2019m always the last on the dancefloor, too, and usually have to be dragged there. But once I\u2019m in situ, my self-consciousness drowned in sauvignon blanc, I love it. Of course I do \u2013 singing and dancing are fun, joyful and good for the soul. If I had the guts to do them without wine*, who knows, maybe I could be the next Beyonc\u00e9.<\/p>\n *and also had Beyonc\u00e9\u2019s talent.<\/p>\n Carry an umbrella<\/p>\n This isn\u2019t a problem when it\u2019s raining, I\u2019m not that neurotic. But as a reformed sun-worshipper turned pathological sun-avoider, my struggle is when the ageing ball of fire in the sky is blazing down and there\u2019s no shade. Despite there being many countries where parasols are the norm, people in the UK double-take if you put a brolly up when it\u2019s dry, even if you talk loudly about how parasols are the norm in many countries while you do it.<\/p>\n Disagree<\/p>\n A few years ago, I ended up in a conversation with some people I\u2019d just met, about a new cafe that had opened in the area. One man said the food was terrible and really overpriced. I\u2019d had a lovely, very reasonable lunch there but I nodded anyway, out of politeness and to avoid any potential awkwardness. The third person in the chat then revealed themselves as the owner of the cafe. If this experience wasn\u2019t enough to make me braver at disagreeing, nothing is. So, nothing is.<\/p>\n Give compliments to strangers<\/p>\n Often I find myself admiring a passerby\u2019s outfit, or wanting to tell teenagers on the tube they\u2019re beautiful, in case they mistakenly believe the opposite, but I can\u2019t quite work up the nerve. Logically, I can\u2019t imagine how a no-strings-attached compliment could land badly, while being certain that if I ever tried it, I would immediately find out.<\/p>\n Cook anyway<\/p>\n I once made a cake which defied the laws of science, remaining raw in the middle after more than three hours in the oven. Another time I served Fairy Liquid roast potatoes (I forgot to rinse the baking tray after washing it). The memory of the faces of those tasked with consuming my culinary efforts stops me attempting any more, but perhaps I should plough on regardless instead. Details of my YouTube channel to follow.<\/p>\n Polly Hudson is a freelance writer<\/p>\n Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters<\/a> section, please click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nepo babies provoke a unique brand of ire. 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