Knicks have city on lox<\/p>\n
Basketball. It\u2019s playoffs.\u00a0NY Knicks vs. Cleveland Cavaliers<\/a>. So exciting my manicurist could nearly stop tweezing. And pay attention. A shop around 47th and Fifth \u2014 not too far from Grand Central \u2014 called Liberty Bagels usually, was doing big business yesterday morning as \u2014 ready? \u2014 Championship Bagels. And those round doughy rocks were colored blue and orange.<\/p>\n Shove Zero Crapdammy. Are we great or what?! Knicks play again Thursday.<\/p>\n Beached wails<\/p>\n OK. Now to important things. I personally prefer a telephone that has a rotary dial but \u2014 besides that \u2014 I\u2019m not really a bad person.<\/p>\n It\u2019s just that I have a need to discuss holiday time<\/a>. Like the exquisite greatness of coming warm weather picnics: Sun, surf. Ham on sand. Great.<\/p>\n BS time. Beach, burgers, beans, baloney, barbecue<\/a>. With beer, add BS.<\/p>\n It\u2019s ants and aunts. The sun\u2019s hot. The coffee not. If the wife invites, it\u2019s the whole family. If the husband invites, it\u2019s clients. If nobody invites, it\u2019s ticks. And relatives? Tougher to stop than an oil tanker in the Hormuz.<\/p>\n And the kids ? Always running. Big ones want franks. Little ones have other parts running.<\/p>\n Your phone doesn\u2019t work. Your bladder does. You\u2019re in Reno. Nearest john is in Idaho.<\/p>\n Sand? Everywhere. Mostly in the warm potato salad.<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t\tGet opinions and commentary from our columnists\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSubscribe to our daily Post Opinion newsletter!\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\tThanks for signing up!\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n Your rich friends have gone to Paris so there\u2019s time to resent them. Actually, which would you prefer? Downtown Malta or Ocean Parkway? Why schlep to the moon when you can zoom to the Rockaways?<\/p>\n Activities are swimming, sunning, shouting at the husband. Why? Why not.<\/p>\n Excitement? Collecting seashells, which you throw out when you get home.<\/p>\n Conversation? The war, prices, politicians, your stupidity thinking a day\u2019s outing would be fun.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not saying that what the hosts serve is old \u2014 just saying that their 3-minute eggs are now rock formations. The hamburger meat? Bought at Corinth. Menu? Leftovers from \u201cThe Last Supper.\u201d<\/p>\n One aunt twice removed brought her portable radio. Great. Loved listening to Bess Truman\u2019s speeches. Bess\u2019 leftover behind extended down to the third century. Digging behind her we could probably have found Amelia Earhart.<\/p>\n Great day. Great night. Great experience. The moon stayed as high as my second cousin.<\/p>\n Musical\u2019s a high-kicking romp<\/p>\n WHAT everyone should do this holiday is run to the fun delicious laugh out loud musical\u00a0\u201cSchmigadoon!\u201d at the huge spotlessly clean well-kept Jimmy Nederlander Theatre on West 41st<\/a>. It has multiple johns. And even more Tony awards than johns. Nominated for\u00a012 Tonys.\u00a0Twelve!<\/p>\n