\u201cNaturally, I\u2019m not really a talker,\u201d said Mr. Narain, one of the group\u2019s original members. \u201cI don\u2019t go to bars or anything like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
He would rather focus on an activity and let the conversation flow from there.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019re just kind of going in cold then, what do you really talk about?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
The group, which is free to anyone who wants to join, emerged in 2022 after some of the toughest years of the coronavirus pandemic.<\/p>\n
\u201cA lot of us were fed up with puzzling alone,\u201d Mr. Narain said.<\/p>\n
Other groups that have popped up in recent years include Reading Rhythms<\/a>, where participants gather to read and discuss any book they wish, and Darn It!<\/a>, a mending club in Brooklyn where participants share stories about the clothing that they\u2019re rescuing.<\/p>\n \u201cPeople really look forward to gathering once a month,\u201d said Hekima Hapa, 52, a fashion designer and one of the club\u2019s leaders. \u201cIt\u2019s kind of like a little family reunion.\u201d<\/p>\n Jillian Richardson, 32, who lives in Brooklyn, has showcased most of these groups in a newsletter called The Joy List<\/a>, which curates activities that she feels offer the best chances of connection.<\/p>\n A community is a place where \u201cif I didn\u2019t show up, people would miss me,\u201d said Ms. Richardson, who said she was very lonely when she moved to New York City in 2015.<\/p>\n Ask yourself: \u201cWhat kind of person do you want to be?\u201d Ms. Richardson said. Then seek activities with people who have similar values and interests.<\/p>\n For Sasha Raskin, 40, who lives on the Lower East Side, meeting people is the easy part.<\/p>\n She is outgoing and easy to talk to.<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone thinks I have tons of friends,\u201d Ms. Raskin said. \u201cBut I\u2019m incredibly lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n When she does meet someone new, it often ignites puppy-level excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re gonna grow old together,\u201d she thinks.<\/p>\n But living out that \u201cGolden Girls\u201d ideal has felt out of reach for Ms. Raskin.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s just too hard,\u201d she said. Often, she forges a connection and then \u2026 nothing. \u201cThey ghost you.\u201d<\/p>\n Loneliness remains pervasive in the city<\/a> and elsewhere, particularly among younger adults. A 2024 report<\/a> from the Harvard Graduate School of Education surveyed 1,500 U.S. adults and found that those between 30 and 44 as well as those 18 to 29 were more likely than other age group to report feeling lonely. Another study<\/a> of almost 8,000 adults in eight countries found that nearly half of young adults said they were lonely.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t help that young people are often also coping with intensifying pressure to appear perfect<\/a> and fear that others are judging them.<\/p>\n \u201cSignificant numbers of people in their 20s are dissatisfied with their friendships,\u201d said Richard Weissbourd, a psychologist and Harvard lecturer who studies loneliness. \u201cThey don\u2019t really share their authentic self in relationships, and they don\u2019t want to be vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n Ken Litton, 32, a software engineer who dabbles in comedy, said that he created the Critical Thinking Club to help people engage in a chill discussion and laugh while they were at it.<\/p>\n At one point, the comedian and cartoonist Will Santino donned a monk-like hairpiece to expound on the virtues of celibacy. The actor and comedian Alana Johnson recommended the sexual position \u201creverse cowgirl\u201d for quad strength (to \u201celongate your life,\u201d she said) and advocated for \u201ccorporate-sanctioned bang breaks.\u201d<\/p>\n Afterward, the audience broke into small groups to continue the conversation on their own.<\/p>\n \u201cWe need spaces where people can talk,\u201d Mr. Litton said. Places where \u201cthey can feel comfortable and safe expressing their honest opinion.\u201d<\/p>\n Ms. Raskin, who attended the Critical Thinking Club debate hoping for a substantive conversation, ended up in the same group as Ms. Brittingham.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t long before they deviated from the night\u2019s question and became passionate about weighty topics such as, \u201cWhat is sex for?\u201d Ms. Raskin wondered aloud whether women should opt out of the dating pool entirely.<\/p>\n \u201cI think women should be going on an entire sex strike until men figure out how to actually care for us as human beings,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Ms. Brittingham shared that she was \u201csexually focused for a good portion of my life.\u201d Now, she\u2019s not going to jump into a physical relationship unless it\u2019s really special. \u201cUntil then,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019m chilling with my girls.\u201d<\/p>\n Later, Ms. Raskin said of Ms. Brittingham, \u201cI definitely am getting her number.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI basically only want to meet other angry women,\u201d she said. \u201cThat\u2019s the only people I like.\u201d<\/p>\n It was a joke, sort of.<\/p>\n She has felt deep frustration with New York\u2019s dating scene for years.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s painful to keep your heart open and get your hopes up,\u201d she said, only for a relationship to fizzle.<\/p>\n
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