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\n Photo-Illustration: Marylu Herrera\n <\/p>\n
This week, a single guy gets action at the gym, at the club, and on a date: 31, single, Brooklyn\u00a0<\/p>\n
DAY ONE<\/p>\n
7 a.m. Wake up, horny as usual. Last night, I was on Twitter (I can\u2019t call it X) too late, scrolling on my X-rated alt \u2014\u00a0and discovering that a friend also has a secret alt. I passed out before I could jerk off, so I edge watching his clips now. I love finding out about my friends\u2019 sex lives. I don\u2019t come, hoping that something happens later this week with a new guy I\u2019ve been seeing, Greg. I get out of bed.<\/p>\n
8:30 a.m. Text Greg about getting together this week. We\u2019ve been hanging out casually for a few months. We\u2019re both tops, so sex has been tricky. I finally bit the pillow a few weeks ago, and it was \u2026 fantastic. He was attentive and knew exactly what to do to me.<\/p>\n
Greg asks me if I want to go to the nude beach this weekend, but it\u2019s the anniversary of my mom\u2019s passing, and while I can compartmentalize like the best of them, I don\u2019t know if being on a beach with my dick out is the best way to process grief. Or maybe it is. I leave the door open.<\/p>\n
Noon Get dressed for the office, debating going commando to give myself a thrill throughout the day. I hate wearing underwear, but I settle on jeans, so I put on a pair of white briefs, the second-hottest thing to going commando. I commute into the office, checking out all the hot men on the subway platform: my favorite hobby.<\/p>\n
My job has an erratic schedule, always determined by the events we have going on. I mostly work from home, but when we\u2019re leading up to a busy period (New York Fashion Week, holidays, etc.), I go into the office.<\/p>\n
10 p.m. Home from work. I don\u2019t jerk off.<\/p>\n
DAY TWO<\/p>\n
7 a.m. I wake up and stroke my morning wood. My chronic back pain is acting up. I guess it got out of whack during a workout. I hate getting old. I text Greg, who advises me not to work out.<\/p>\n
I really like Greg\u2019s drive. He left a high-level government job to create his own consulting firm and has already achieved so much in a short time. He\u2019s disciplined and balanced but loves to have fun. He turns me on so much. I initiate sexting, but he\u2019s not good at it. I tell him that I\u2019m hard and want him to top me again. He responds with \u201cI will\u201d and hearts the image of my hard dick. Okay, he hates me?<\/p>\n
11 a.m. Heading to manage a late-night event. Hot bulge on the subway platform. I try to cruise, but nope.<\/p>\n
5:30 p.m. Barry\u2019s. There\u2019s a hot guy here who might be gay. I cruise him between sets, but he isn\u2019t into it. He\u2019s straight, or I\u2019m the ugliest man to ever walk the planet. I\u2019ve been working out more, mostly to get sexy men\u2019s validation. Not for health reasons, although that\u2019s what I tell people. I hate when people say working out is like therapy. You know what\u2019s like therapy? Therapy.<\/p>\n
6:45 p.m. My Barry\u2019s location is near my gym, so I use the steam room after class. I cruise a guy with a small penis but a gorgeous ass. We take our cocks out from our towels and jerk a little. I\u2019m barely hard before we get interrupted, but we exchange numbers in the locker room. He tells me he\u2019s been checking me out for months, so I get my confidence back.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. I text Greg about the guy. We love discussing sexual encounters.<\/p>\n
9 p.m. Read in bed until I get horny and go back to Twitter porn. I check out my friend\u2019s page and bust to a video of him jerking off in his outdoor shower. His bush looks amazing. I\u2019m glad that, culturally, bush is back.<\/p>\n
DAY THREE<\/p>\n
7 a.m. My back. I can barely move. I book a massage appointment.<\/p>\n
10 a.m. Stoned, picking up dry cleaning, and spending money on things I don\u2019t need when I run into a friend from college. She\u2019s very pregnant. I ask when she\u2019s due and she says \u201ctomorrow.\u201d This throws me for a loop. When did we all grow up? I guess I have back pain, so that makes sense?<\/p>\n
Noon Greg texts about Saturday. We\u2019re going to see each other, no definitive plans. I want him to come over and top me. He\u2019s so attentive and passionate.<\/p>\n
4 p.m. My masseuse is handsier than usual. He says I have a beautiful body and he can tell I work hard. I don\u2019t know what to say to the compliment. I\u2019m flattered. I text Greg and he tells me it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n
6 p.m. Meet a girlfriend for drinks. The straight men are out today. Bulges in suit pants. DREAM. A beefy man passes and I want to THROW myself at him.<\/p>\n
10 p.m. Jerk off thinking of the masseuse.<\/p>\n
DAY FOUR<\/p>\n
10 a.m. Tennis in Bay Ridge. I call it my sex tourism because I check Grindr while I wait for my lesson. It\u2019s a lot of headless torsos and discreet guys, so I don\u2019t engage. Some guy in the subway has a full erection through his jeans. I love bulges so much. While playing, I realize my back doesn\u2019t hurt anymore. That masseuse was a miracle worker. Maybe he\u2019ll jerk me off next time \u2026<\/p>\n
Noon Greg suggests a brunch spot downtown for Saturday. We\u2019re basically a long-distance relationship (Greenpoint and Hell\u2019s Kitchen). I\u2019m bummed he won\u2019t come over and top me, but it\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n
4 p.m. Doctor\u2019s appointment on the UES. Text a friend with benefits who lives up here. We meet in the park and get stoned. His bulge grows and grows. I tell him and he suggests we walk through the Ramble. We jerk off a little in the bushes. I don\u2019t come. At this point, I decide to refrain from coming until I can meet a guy.<\/p>\n
7 p.m. A friend convinces me to go to a party in Manhattan. This friend and I always end up making out. I can\u2019t tell if this is a dance party or a sex party. I buy a ticket and tell him I\u2019ll meet him at midnight.<\/p>\n
8:30 p.m. Can\u2019t believe I have time for a nap. I set my alarm for 11.<\/p>\n
4 a.m. I just woke up. Fuuuckkkk. Furiously text my friends and apologize. They\u2019re leaving the club. I\u2019m so mad at myself. I wanted to make out with boys. Text Greg. He\u2019s still up. He responds that he and his friends are just leaving a cruising bar. It turns me on to think of him in a dark room. I smoke to go back to sleep.<\/p>\n
DAY FIVE<\/p>\n
9 a.m. Pilates. Put on my chestiest tank top and button-down. My tits are the most evidence of my working out. I love showing them off.<\/p>\n
1 p.m. I get to brunch first. Text Greg that I\u2019m starving, so he should expect a big order.<\/p>\n
1:15 p.m. He doesn\u2019t respond. Text him that he might have pulled a Me and slept through it. I\u2019m annoyed. I\u2019m hungry and wanted to see him.<\/p>\n
1:30 p.m. I leave.<\/p>\n
2 p.m. As I wait for the subway, Greg calls. He pulled a Me. Thank God the reservation was in his name, because I won\u2019t let my Resy be ruined by a no-show. His voice is groggy, and he\u2019s so apologetic. When I tell him it\u2019s okay, he says it isn\u2019t and he really wanted to see me. He has a wedding tonight, though. He apologizes a few more times before my train arrives. I assure him it\u2019s okay. Maybe I\u2019m dickmatized. I wouldn\u2019t put up with this from anyone else. It\u2019s nice to hear someone take accountability for mistakes. I don\u2019t think a lot of my partners have done that. Greg texts asking how he can make it up to me. I tell him to do that finger thing on my hole the next time he comes over. He says deal.\u00a0<\/p>\n
4 p.m. Birthday party for my girlfriend\u2019s husband. Very straight. I tell my friend about the missed brunch. She\u2019s pissed for me, and I tell her it\u2019s okay. I think maybe I make excuses for the men in my life and don\u2019t value myself in relationships. I\u2019m desperate for the approval of men, especially hot ones.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. Smoke and go to dinner with my bestie and his husband. Very gay. The restaurant is painfully straight and female.<\/p>\n
10:30 p.m. I see an Insta Story of Greg at the wedding, dancing his face off. I send it to him and say \u201cYou are ridiculous\u201d and he laughs. He apologizes again and tells me the after-party for the wedding is in my neighborhood. I tell him I\u2019m going out with some friends. He asks me to update him.<\/p>\n
Midnight Meet up with my friends at the cruising bar. Why are there so many twinks and women? Maybe all the hot guys are in the dark room. It\u2019s empty. I go back to the dance floor, do some K, and dance.<\/p>\n
1 a.m. The club has gotten gayer but still not what I was hoping for. As I leave, I run into Greg. I\u2019m so surprised. He tells me he guessed I would be here and asks if I was leaving. I say, \u201cNot anymore.\u201d Shirts come off. Kissing. The rest is a bit blurry \u2026 good blurry.<\/p>\n
2:30 a.m. We head into the dark room. I love public sex. (Part of the fitness journey.) Greg tells me how sexy I am and that my confidence is such a turn-on. I repay him with a blowjob. He says he wants to watch me fuck a bottom in the dark room. Don\u2019t have to tell me twice. I find a guy and he sucks me off. I try to fuck him, but he\u2019s too tight. Greg laughs and tells me I\u2019ll have to do a lot of foreplay to open him up once we eventually fuck.<\/p>\n
3 a.m. Starting to crash. I suck Greg off in the dark room and swallow his load. We make out and he tells me how into me he is. Aw, swoon!<\/p>\n
DAY SIX<\/p>\n
1 p.m. I wake up, rock hard. When\u2019s the last time I came? Send Greg a video and he responds with his own. We plan to see each other this week.<\/p>\n
I laze about and do my back stretches until the afternoon. Today is the anniversary of my mom\u2019s passing. It\u2019s been five years. While it\u2019s tough, I\u2019ve compartmentalized my grief. Texts and calls come in. I respond with platitudes. If I open that part of my brain, I\u2019ll crumble. And I\u2019m too tired.<\/p>\n
4 p.m. Head to a play with a new work friend. I can\u2019t tell if this is a FWB situation, professional situation, or a friend situation. I broach sexual topics, and while they\u2019re mostly returned, it feels like an assessment. I think one more hang will help. I try to grab drinks after the show, but he isn\u2019t picking up on it.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. It\u2019s Stoned Sunday. I prep some food then edge on the sofa. A former FWB texts me and asks me to come over. The sex with this guy is incredible, but he gets possessive. The last time I told him I couldn\u2019t come over, he blew up. I think enough time has passed, so I go. We fuck like old times, but I keep a distance. No lovey-dovey aftercare.<\/p>\n
DAY SEVEN<\/p>\n
7 a.m. Back to the work week. I\u2019m thrilled to be in a routine again.<\/p>\n
11 a.m. Gym. I love going off hours. Better cruising. I do my lift and a guy catches my eye. He\u2019s tall and lean, not my usual type, but he\u2019s bulging hard in his shorts.<\/p>\n
Noon Hit the steam room hoping for edging or sucking. It\u2019s empty for a few minutes until the guy from the gym floor comes in. We both get hard under our towels and jerk off. Before I can come, we\u2019re interrupted. The vibes of this new guy are putrid. He wants to get something going, but he\u2019s so obvious. I think gay hookup apps have taken away the art of cruising and the magic of subtlety. His head is like an oscillating fan on high speed, scanning the two of us. It\u2019s weird. I go to the showers, blueballed yet again.<\/p>\n
5 p.m. Tell Greg about the steam room and he says he was fingered in his steam room by a daddy and that it made him horny for me to top him. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.<\/p>\n
6 p.m. Via text, I\u2019m upfront that I want to top Greg but am willing to be a bottom too.\u00a0I love submitting to him.<\/p>\n
8 p.m. Try not to smoke during the work week. It helps me curb my compulsive eating and jerking off. Thinking of Greg fucking me reminds me that I\u2019m probably too tight for our date this week. I got a set of toys to open me up, so I tease my hole while I edge. It makes me horny, but I\u2019m a brave boy and don\u2019t come.<\/p>\n
10 p.m. Text Greg good night. He responds, \u201cGood night, sexy. Sleep well.\u201d<\/p>\n
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