{"id":47654,"date":"2025-11-21T18:59:09","date_gmt":"2025-11-21T18:59:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/47654\/"},"modified":"2025-11-21T18:59:09","modified_gmt":"2025-11-21T18:59:09","slug":"reconnecting-with-an-old-friend-is-a-story-of-distance-loss-and-rediscovery-baltimore-sun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/47654\/","title":{"rendered":"Reconnecting with an old friend is a story of distance, loss and rediscovery \u2013 Baltimore Sun"},"content":{"rendered":"

By CATHY BUSSEWITZ<\/p>\n

NEW YORK \u2014 When Jennifer Lea Austin met Molly in second grade, they quickly became best friends<\/a>. They giggled through classes until the teacher separated them, inspiring them to come up with their own language. They shared sleepovers and went on each other\u2019s family vacations.<\/p>\n

But they gradually drifted apart after Austin\u2019s family moved to Germany before the girls started high school. Decades passed before they recently reconnected as grown women.<\/p>\n

\u201cStrong friendships really do stay for the long haul,\u201d Austin, 51, said. \u201cEven if there are pauses in between and they fade, that doesn\u2019t mean they completely dissolve or they go forgotten. They\u2019re always there kind of lingering like a little light in the back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Early friendships are some of the deepest: the schoolmates who shared bike rides and their favorite candy. The roommates who offered comfort after breakups. The ones who know us, sometimes better than we know ourselves.<\/p>\n

But as adults take on jobs and the responsibilities of homes and families, it can be challenging to stay connected<\/a> with everyone we\u2019ve loved<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Technology plays a role, too. Loneliness has increased<\/a> since the television was invented and intensified with the introduction of smartphones<\/a>, according to psychologist Marisa Franco, a University of Maryland assistant clinical professor and author of \u201cPlatonic,\u201d a book about the science of attachment.<\/p>\n

Once they\u2019ve lost touch with friends, some people are reluctant to reach out, fearing rejection. But most of those on the receiving end appreciate the effort more than we expect, Franco said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are delighted to hear from their old friends and open to connections,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Franco suggests reminiscing about a shared memory to span the time and distance. It can be something as simple as, \u201cThis pic came up and I just realized I wanted to check in on you,\u201d she said. Propose a meetup. If the friend lives far away, try scheduling a phone date to catch up.<\/p>\n

Below, six people who tried to rekindle lost friendships<\/a> reflect on distance, loss and reconnection.<\/p>\n

\"HeatherHeather Robb, left, and Laine DePasquantonio, right, pose for a selfie in Denver, Colo., when they reconnected in April, 2025. (Heather Robb via AP)
\nA missing piece<\/p>\n

Heather Robb and Laine DiPasquantonio were nearly inseparable in their 20s, when they both lived in Boston. They went to concerts and vacationed together. DiPasquantonio was there when Robb met her future husband and attended their wedding as a bridesmaid.<\/p>\n

But sometime after Robb married and DiPasquantonio moved to Colorado, their circle of friends scattered. They became busy raising children, juggling jobs and caring for aging parents.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s terrible because you don\u2019t know it\u2019s happening,\u201d Robb, 60, said in a joint interview. \u201cI think it was simply space and time. We were all in different cities, we were all in that busy time of toddlers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Years passed with occasional holiday cards and texts but few meaningful interactions. DiPasquantonio saw photos on social media of Robb skiing and traveling with other friends. \u201cI wasn\u2019t sure there was so much room for me, from a distance,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\"ThisThis Sept. 1994 photo provided by Heather Robb, shows Robb, left, and Laine DiPasquantonio, right, pose for a photo at Robb\u2019s wedding in Machester-by-the-Sea, Mass. (Heather Robb via AP)<\/p>\n

\u201cAww, I feel badly about that,\u201d Robb replied. \u201cI would argue that\u2019s the bad side of social media.\u201d<\/p>\n

The women found their way back to each other when Robb, president of Heather Robb Communications, had a business trip to Denver in April. She called to see if DiPasquantonio wanted to get dinner. \u201cI didn\u2019t know if she was going to be that happy to hear from me. I actually had some trepidation in reaching out,\u201d Robb said.<\/p>\n

When she did, Robb learned her friend was about to undergo surgery for breast cancer. Instead of meeting for dinner, DiPasquantonio, a placement specialist at Harmony Senior Referrals, invited Robb to stay for the weekend. A mutual friend flew out to join them.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was so tickled that you called and wanted to get together. It was awesome,\u201d DiPasquantonio, 63, said during their interview. \u201cWhat took us so long, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve remained close since.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt just feels so good. It feels like there was a missing piece,\u201d Robb said.<\/p>\n

Just do it<\/p>\n

Reyna Dominguez, 18, had the same best friend<\/a> since first grade. But when Dominguez moved from Long Island to Brooklyn, her friend began college. Dominguez started working in a salon and their schedules didn\u2019t align. About six months passed without communication.<\/p>\n

After graduating cosmetology school, Dominguez texted her friend to share the news.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was a bit anxious that she was not going to respond. But she did, and I was so relieved and happy,\u201d Dominguez said.<\/p>\n

Now they\u2019re in touch about once a month and planning to get together.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s important to stay in touch because sometimes I do get lonely, like I have no one to really talk to,\u201d Dominguez said. \u201cBut with her, she knows all about my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dominguez encourages anyone considering reaching out to an old friend to go ahead. \u201cI say just do it. You have nothing to lose,\u201d she said. \u201cI guess the worst they could do is not respond to you, but I feel like you\u2019ll still be happy with the thought, \u2018I tried.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Staying close<\/p>\n

Andrew Snyder\u2019s best friend since 5th grade lives a plane ride away, but that hasn\u2019t stopped them from keeping in touch. They call or email each other at least once a month and see each other several times per year.<\/p>\n

At key points in their lives, they\u2019ve visited each others\u2019 homes \u201cso when we talk about things, we actually can understand,\u201d said Snyder, 50, who teaches philosophy and economics in New York City.<\/p>\n

Living in different cities means it requires work to stay connected, but it\u2019s important to Snyder, who feels that friendships are thinning out as people spend more time looking at cellphone screens.<\/p>\n

\u201cFriendship and cooking your own food, and exercising and being outside, these are the things that used to be real life, and now I think they\u2019re all fading,\u201d Snyder said. \u201cI don\u2019t think the real issue is time anymore. I think the real issue is a sense of overwhelm and a sense of depletion that we all feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"KimKim Ventresca, 22, writes in a journal at Union Square Park in Manhattan on Nov. 6, 2025. (AP Photo\/Cathy Bussewitz)
\nNo regrets<\/p>\n

Kim Ventresca, 22, drifted from her best friend while attending college. She reached out a few times and they reconnected when the friend was having a rough time. But they stopped talking again when Ventresca was going through mental health and relationship challenges. Eventually, the other young woman told Ventresca she no longer wanted to be friends.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got some new friends now, and I feel like it\u2019s probably better because some things happen for a reason,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m hoping that she\u2019s alright and that she is doing OK.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ventresca, who works as a social media manager and receptionist in New Jersey, said she still recommends reaching out to missed friends, even if it\u2019s awkward.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe worst thing that happens is you get \u2018left on read\u2019 or delivered or declined,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Secret language<\/p>\n

After Austin\u2019s family moved to Germany, she didn\u2019t see her childhood best friend again for 20 years, through a chance meeting on a New York City subway platform. They reconnected briefly, but contact lapsed again.<\/p>\n

Molly\u2019s 2021 visit with one of her children to a college near Austin\u2019s home provided another chance to restore the friendship. They\u2019ve remained close since.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething at that point just shifted,\u201d Austin, owner of KindPoint Communications, said. \u201cThings really picked up and we just basically outright said, \u2019Let\u2019s just keep this momentum going. Let\u2019s not wait another 20 years.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

___<\/p>\n

Send your wellness questions and story ideas to cbussewitz@ap.org. Follow AP\u2019s Be Well coverage, focusing on wellness, fitness, diet and mental health at https:\/\/apnews.com\/hub\/be-well<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"By CATHY BUSSEWITZ NEW YORK \u2014 When Jennifer Lea Austin met Molly in second grade, they quickly became…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":47655,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[75,84,83,9,24,63,27008,904],"class_list":["post-47654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-manhattan","tag-manhattan","tag-manhattan-headlines","tag-manhattan-news","tag-new-york","tag-new-york-city","tag-nyc","tag-parenting-and-family","tag-things-to-do"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47654\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47655"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-ny\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}