Dear Eric: My goddaughter is getting married in December. Her parents have experienced crushing financial loss through no fault of their own. So, I told my goddaughter I would contribute $500 to the wedding dress.<\/p>\n
She picked out a dress without consulting me that cost nearly 10 times that much and sent me a picture of the receipts. After much back and forth she \u201cheard\u201d that I would pay for all of the dress.<\/p>\n
Her mother got involved and it ended up a huge mess. After being pressured I sent $1,500 to the bridal shop and told the family because of the increased cost to my budget, I would not be traveling 17 hours to the wedding, staying in a hotel and sending a wedding gift.<\/p>\n
Because of this my goddaughter isn\u2019t speaking to me. When I inquired about a thank you note her mother shrugged it off. Should I just write off the experience and the relationships?<\/p>\n
\u2013 Taken Advantage Of<\/p>\n
Dear Advantage: In the new year, when the stress of the wedding has worn off, consider trying to reset things with your goddaughter\u2019s parents. You might tell them, \u201cit seems there was some miscommunication about the dress, and I don\u2019t want that to get between us. Can you tell me what you thought I was going to do, so I can understand?\u201d This might give you insight or it might give the same impression that the situation is giving now: that they\u2019re being ungrateful and unreasonable. If it\u2019s the latter, maybe this relationship has run its course. Either way, you\u2019re owed a thank you.<\/p>\n
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n