A little more than a year ago Jeremy Carter was standing on a bridge, ready to end his life.
“I was counting down. I was three seconds away,” he said.
It was at that moment a woman Carter didn’t know driving an SUV stopped on the bridge and called him off the edge.
“I still don’t remember exactly what she said, except, ‘Please stop and talk to me.’ And I got down and I was just in such a daze and a blur. I was just walking. I said, ‘Thank you.’”
Carter, who has a degree in social work, said leading up to his decision to step onto that bridge, he spoke to his therapist about his plan.
“She, of course, did what she was supposed to do and called Resolve. I knew what that process was going to be, so I left the office because I did not want to be stopped at that moment.”
Resolve Crisis Services offers several options for people experiencing a mental health crisis in Allegheny County, including telephone support, a walk-in center and a mobile crisis service that can respond in the community, according to Mandy Fauble, vice president of operations for Western Behavioral Health.
The county is also home to a crisis residential unit, inpatient behavioral health options and what’s called the A-Team — mental health professionals trained to help in the heat of a crisis.
Fauble says after a crisis, the possible recourses are more varied — therapy, medication, exercise routines — but it’s a tricky path to navigate. Soon after Carter walked away from the bridge, he got himself to an emergency room.
“I have to say it was not a good experience for me,” he recalled.
He got a diagnosis he didn’t buy into and prescriptions he didn’t want. He said the experience wasn’t trauma-informed or client-centered.
“It felt like a machine.”
‘Community is incredibly protective’
Carter eventually found group therapy to be the most helpful. But he found professionally led meetings stifling: there were time limits and warnings not to over-share. So, he decided to strike out on his own, working with the National Alliance on Mental Illness to create a more flexible community group space.
Now his organization Still Here meets monthly. A dozen adults typically show up each month — college-aged students through retirees. Often, that includes regulars like Jason Hladney who has struggled with suicidality for decades.
“There’s no expectations,” Hladney said. “It’s very open, it’s very easygoing, and you don’t have to share anything. So this is a beautiful time to spend together that you can associate with people and know that you’re not alone.”
Hladney has been attending Still Here meetings for about 6 months. He says he comes for the community building experience and because he loves his wife and kids and wants to stick around for them.
“You get the camaraderie and the lift up as well that you can actually see people’s faces and their reaction to what you had to say or what somebody else had to say in the group. So that’s very nice to see.
Beyond being nice to see, research indicates these experiences are also linked to higher well‐being and longer lifespan.
“I can’t say enough how important it is that I think that people find affinity groups, or they find groups that help them find community, because community is incredibly protective, and it is protective in all kinds of domains,” Fauble said.
Jeremy Carter says in the year since he tried to take his own life, he’s learned that many people who are considering suicide are tired of being tired.
“People will connect in the group conversation like, ‘I heard you say that, and I feel the same way. And this is how I get through it,’” Carter recalled. “Those types of conversations happen organically, which is what I live for.”
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or crisis:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
Allegheny County’s resolve Crisis Network: 1-888-796-8226
UPMC Western Psychiatric Hospital treats mental and behavioral health conditions: 412-624-1000
AHN Triage Team: 412-330-4429