Using opioid settlement funds to support families
The support Ousterman found through Philly HEALs after losing her son was validating not only for her grief, but other complex emotions she felt as a parent who had watched a child battle a substance use disorder for years, she said.
It was a time filled with a relentless amount of fear, anguish and despair for her son.
“When you’re living with an adult child in chaotic use, it’s really no different than being shot at in a war. Your nervous system is totally dysregulated. You’re living on edge constantly,” she said.
But many of those feelings dissipated after his death, only to be replaced by other types of deep pain, and a small bit of relief, Ousterman said — the kind that perhaps only another parent who has also lost a child to substance use can fully understand.
“There is that relief. And it absolutely doesn’t compare to the pain we feel, of course,” she said. “But it’s nice to be able to say that to someone, like, ‘Yeah, I don’t miss not sleeping because I’m waiting for the phone to ring,’”
Ousterman coordinates some virtual peer grief support groups through her nonprofit, the Vilomah Foundation, with the help of a mini grant from Bucks County and local opioid settlement funds.
But it’s not enough to serve everyone in the county who needs these services, she said. Bucks County had previously proposed establishing a larger network of grief support groups with up to $150,000 of opioid settlement money, but the project didn’t move forward, a county spokesperson told WHYY News. A smaller amount of money has been allocated toward grief support services in the community.
That’s why Ousterman and others said they are urging state leaders to create a statewide program not only to coordinate grief support services, but to also provide respite care opportunities for grieving loved ones. They also want financial assistance for people facing significant funeral costs or those who are now raising children and grandchildren left behind by the death of a parent.
“That’s what we hope to do in Pennsylvania, is be connected to medical examiner’s offices, funeral homes, so we can reach people right when it happens,” Ousterman said. “If people don’t have that support, you can’t authentically grieve.”