LOWER MERION – Every morning, Cyani Terry of Upper Darby leaves home for the one place where she can finally catch her breath.
It isn’t home. It’s work.
At Bryn Mawr Village in Bryn Mawr, Terry spends her days caring for residents recovering from illness and injury. Before and after every shift, she’s helping her 48-year-old mother through colon cancertreatment and raising two young children, including a one-year-old daughter.
“I still have to show up for my children. I have to show up for my mother. And I still have to showup for my residents,” Terry said.
July is Sandwich Generation Month, recognizing the millions of Americans balancing thedemands of raising children while caring for aging parents. Nearly one in four U.S. adults arepart of the sandwich generation, according to the Pew Research Center, as Americans livelonger and many start families later in life. Terry became part of that generation much soonerthan she ever expected.
Before her mother became sick, she was the one caring for Terry’s daughter while Terry went towork. Then, almost overnight, everything changed.
“My mom was the one who used to watch my daughter while I went to work. Then she got very,very sick,” Terry recalled.
Most stories about the sandwich generation are told through the lens of stress and burnout.
Terry has experienced plenty of both. After finishing her shift, she’s often helping her motherthrough chemotherapy, radiation and recovery before heading home to her own children. Lastmonth, her mother underwent a 13-hour surgery.
But that’s not the story Terry wants to tell.
For her, work isn’t another burden. It’s the place where she can finally breathe.
“I get a little bit of relief when I come to work. I get to breathe,” she said.
Her mother has always been the life of the party, someone who loves getting dressed up andgoing out. Terry doesn’t want her to see how much the illness has affected her.
“I don’t want her to see me sad. I don’t want her to see me affected by what’s going on,” Terry said.
Instead, she channels those emotions into caring for her residents.
“I take care of everyone with love because I always think, if someone had to take care of mymother, I would want them to treat her with love,” Terry said.
For Terry, that philosophy comes down to one simple truth.
“These are people’s mothers and grandmothers,” Terry said.
The support goes both ways.
When her mother underwent surgery, Bryn Mawr Village’s administrator prayed with herbeforehand.
“When she prayed with me, that told me everything about the building I work for,” Terry said.
Her residents have become another source of strength. If they notice she’s having a difficult day,they pray with her. Every morning, they ask the same question.
“‘Good morning. How’s your mom?’ I think that’s so sweet,” she said.
Working in rehabilitation has also connected her with families facing the same balancing act.One resident’s daughter is raising young children while caring for her mother in her 80s. The twowomen remind each other of one thing every time they meet.
“Every time we see each other, we tell each other, ‘Everything’s going to be okay,’” Terry said.
As a Certified Nursing Assistant, Terry helps residents with nearly every aspect of daily life, fromgetting dressed and eating to bathing, grooming and monitoring their health.
She believes many healthcare workers quietly carry heavy personal responsibilities whilecontinuing to show up each day for the people who depend on them.
Terry hopes her children will remember seeing their mother keep going, even when life becamedifficult.
“I show up every day and I try my best to make sure that my kids see that no matter how hardthings are, you have to keep going,” she said.