In a recent social media post, a self-identified Pittsburgh millennial lobbed a grenade at a Western Pennsylvania tradition.
“I know you’re all gonna get mad at me,” TikTok user TimmyyB said before pulling the pin and calling cookie tables at weddings “classless,” “trashy” and “disgusting.”
Not gonna lie. It felt like he spit at me.
Does he get to have his feelings about this very regional reception rite? Of course he does, just like some people think parking chairs are silly or that Hunt’s is an acceptable ketchup. Sure, they’re wrong, but it’s their right to be wrong.
While I’ve seen plenty of classless and trashy things at a wedding, the love and respect that goes into a cookie table isn’t one of them. A cousin get arrested? Yup. A table of drunk aunts heckling the bride? Also yes. Hilarious but tacky.
My mom made hundreds of my favorite cream wafers, sparkling with sugar and stuffed with buttery frosting. We had pasticiotti and macaroons from Moio’s in Monroeville and lady locks and Italian peach cookies from Delallo’s in Jeannette. I heated my late mother-in-law’s pizzelle iron over a gas flame and turned out dozens of crispy rounds emblazoned with my new last name.
Cookie tables were born of a need to celebrate even when you couldn’t afford the cake. Like the old story about feeding a whole town with “stone soup” — an allegorical dish made of small contributions from everyone — a cookie table created joyful abundance through the support of family and friends.
Today the joy and abundance remain, but most people who delight in the buffet of desserts have forgotten its Great Depression origins. That makes it possible for the uninformed to treat it with contempt.
Does this matter a lot? No. Cookies, while delicious, are not life and death.
But opinions can be when they spur conflict or lead to negative actions.
I am sure that this TikTokker may have feelings about eating treats made in unfamiliar kitchens, but his video was no doubt more about rage baiting — the practice of leaving an unpopular opinion in a trap waiting for the mice to trigger it, giving him engagement and upping his views. Yes, I have fallen for his wily ruse.
These traps are not always about sfogliatelle and buckeyes. Online or in the media, they are often on bigger topics. Immigration. Violence. Healthcare. Poverty. Politics of all kind is disguised as “just my opinion” instead of what it is — a lure to generate views.
That doesn’t mean opinions don’t matter. They do. We should talk about things that make a difference. We should have real, in-depth conversations that can communicate concerns and open minds. We shouldn’t be dropping a stink bomb and running away laughing.
“I know you’re all gonna get mad at me” is a good indication that is exactly the goal.
And no one’s grandma has ever said that when bringing a tray of lovingly crafted cookies to a Pittsburgh wedding.