Danae Poteat, a now senior at the University of Pittsburgh. This is my title as of August. A cap and gown oddly haunt my future, and in some way, I don’t even know how I got here. Well, of course I know. With almost 100 credits, what feels like hundreds of sleepless nights and having taken more exams than I could count on my hands AND toes, I have the transcript to prove what led me here.
People always tell you that college goes by fast, and at first, I didn’t believe them. I mean, why would I? How could four entire years of my life go by in an instant? So now, I’ve found myself eating crow and wondering how the last three years of my life have felt like a single second. One day, I was freshly 18, moving into Sutherland West, and with the blink of an eye, I am now 21 years old with only two semesters left as a college student.
This terrifies me in ways I’ve never felt before. I am so scared to officially be on my own, work a full-time job, have an apartment that isn’t on a college campus and finally step into adulthood after this chapter of my life closes. Now and then, the reality of this hits me, and I always have to take a moment to fully wrap my head around it. In a way, I still feel like the 18-year-old girl that I once was — full of doubt, anxiety and overall insecurity about who she was as a person.
But that really isn’t who I am anymore.
Now, I am a young woman, flourishing in my skin and slowly growing into the person I’ve always wanted to be. Someone who’s secure in herself, who knows what she wants and who is constantly evolving to be the best version of herself. That is who I am.
Yes, the fear of my future occasionally looms above me like the grayest summer storm, but I know that I’ll make it out unscathed, for the sun will always come out after the rain stops. There is so much that is uncertain at the moment, and instead of being scared of it, I want to try to welcome the unknown.
Of course, I know this year won’t be picture perfect. There will be long clinical days where I’ll question if I’m prepared enough to be a nurse, exams that make me doubt myself and moments where the pressure of what’s coming next feels all-consuming. But if these last three years have taught me anything, it’s that I’m capable of doing hard things. Every semester has asked a little more of me than the one before it, and every single time, I’ve somehow found a way to rise to the occasion.
I may not know where I’ll work post-grad or how hard it’ll be to pass my National Council Licensure Examination, but how lucky am I to know that there is greatness in my future, to have the honor of being a registered nurse, to take care of patients during their most vulnerable moments and to have the privilege of an education that has taught me how to rise to my utmost nursing potential. There is so much to look forward to these next eight months or so — how could I not be excited for what’s to come?
I’ll be living with my best friend, Kat, in our first off-campus apartment. It’s already a dream come true to live with the girl who makes my life brighter by simply existing. College has given me wonderful friendships, but none compare to the relationship I’ve built with Kat. In every possible way, she sees me for who I truly am. I am more than grateful to live life with her. We’ll graduate together, look for jobs together and I’m sure we’ll cry together when it’s time to go our own ways.
I’ll experience my last year of nursing school with the same people I’ve known since my first year. From taking anatomy and microbiology to now being in transition clinical and preparing for the NCLEX together, we’ve grown together, academically and professionally. Being with people who know the struggle of nursing school, people who share the same passion for patient care, has created unbreakable bonds and friendships. It’s comforting to know that I’ll end my journey at Pitt with the same people that I started it with.
With every big milestone that I have ahead, small moments matter too — minuscule, everyday things that I know one day I’ll miss. Getting an iced chai from Saxby’s in the Cathedral, seeing crow poop on the walk to the William Pitt Union or taking yet another sunset picture with Cathy in the background. This will be the last time I’ll be a college student. The last time I’ll live in my college town. The last time I’ll refer to Oakland as home.
As much as I’m looking forward to everything that my future holds, I don’t want to get too ahead of myself. Instead of trying to make time move faster, I’ll be relishing each moment, wanting the clock to stop instead of moving forward.
So while graduation may be closer than I’d like to admit, I think I’m OK with that. College has given me friendships that will last a lifetime, a career that fills me with purpose and, most importantly, a version of myself that I am incredibly proud of. These next two semesters aren’t just an ending but a beginning as well. The beginning of everything that I’ve worked hard for these last four years — and how wonderful is that?
Danae Poteat writes primarily about pop culture and current events. Write to her at [email protected].