In the midst of an “epidemic of loneliness,” some Pitt students are struggling to find social connection in college.
Pitt students looking for friends can be seen reaching out through various anonymous social media sites, such as YikYak and Reddit, in search of relationships that are difficult to find elsewhere. But the lack of connection available to many students in college might be a cultural problem, rather than a personal one.
On Pitt social media sites, users can be seen turning toward anonymous sources for help. One user on Reddit created a post titled “feeling kinda lost socially as a freshman” and asked commenters for advice on how to find friends. On another Pitt site, YikYak, a user posted expressing their loneliness and asking for “one friend.” The user received 20 replies in the comments from other users with similar experiences.
Kevin Binning, associate professor of psychology, said social psychology shows that humans have a deep need for belonging and connection with other people.
“Much of what we do in life — the careers we pursue, the people we associate with, the hobbies we enjoy, the products we buy, the clothing we wear and so on, are partly driven by this fundamental need,” Binning said.
When this need is not fulfilled, loneliness may arise, but it doesn’t come from the same place for everyone, according to Binning.
“[Loneliness] doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is physically isolated and devoid of social interaction, as problematic as that is,” Binning said. “It can also mean that whatever social interactions people are having are not fulfilling their needs — they aren’t perceiving that the people in their lives actually care about them.”
On Pitt social media pages, students who don’t feel these needs are met are reaching out. Malia Lyman, a sophomore neuroscience major, turned to Yik Yak after drifting from friends she made during her first year at Pitt. Lyman said she went online as a low stakes way to talk about the situation.
“At least there, it’s anonymous, and it’s really fun to just post random things,” Lyman said. “You don’t think about it later. Usually, no one responds to anything you post.”
Binning said feelings of loneliness are not uncommon in college, as it is a transitional period. However, increasing screen time averages, the COVID-19 pandemic and a cultural shift away from opportunities for social connection may have exacerbated these struggles, according to Binning.
“Researchers who study loneliness have characterized the current era as ‘an epidemic of loneliness,’” Binning said. “Loneliness seems to be on the rise, and my understanding is that a large part of that increase is among youth and adolescents, particularly among girls.”
Lyman said the problem may stem from the sheer amount of people present at a university like Pitt.
“There’s just a lot of people here. I hear so many other people on YikYak talk about how lonely they feel,” Lyman said. “But there’s so many people here, so I don’t know how they haven’t found someone to match their vibe.”
Evrett Walters, a first-year engineering student who also reached out to the Pitt community through YikYak, said he has had similar issues creating relationships during his first few months at Pitt with the large size of the university.
“It’s just because there’s so many people. It’s kind of hard to make connections because there’s so much going on,” Walters said. “I’m trying to focus on my work and don’t really care to go out.”
Lyman said she sometimes feels the fear of missing out, colloquially known as FOMO, when seeing other Pitt students’ relationships.
“FOMO is a big thing whenever I see people on campus either going out or just sitting around talking or grabbing lunch,” Lyman said. “All the things I used to do with my previous friend group freshman year, but now, I don’t really do that so much anymore.”
Walters said he doesn’t typically mind being by himself, as he focuses on schoolwork and getting a handle on college.
“I’m fine being on my own. I don’t think it’s that awful,” Walters said. “Sometimes, I feel bummed out because I don’t really have anyone to have a strong connection with like I did back in high school. It’s not the worst thing ever, but it hurts sometimes when you don’t have the connection with someone or you’re alone all the time.”
Social connection can come in more forms than just friendships, according to Binning. He said psychology research shows that there is value in interacting with acquaintances and strangers.
“Most people anticipate that conversations with strangers are going to be awkward, but when they actually do it, it often lifts mood and is more rewarding than expected,” Binning said.
Walters said he went to a funeral for a popular squirrel who lived on the Cathedral of Learning lawn and passed away during a recent rainstorm. The event was promoted on social media and gave Walters a chance to connect with his community.
“Stuff like that you can just go and do it and see how it is, and maybe, you’ll find some friends but if you don’t, that’s OK,” Walters said. “I think just breaking out of your comfort zone is what you should do in college and to get the full experience.”
Binning said feelings of loneliness are common for college students, but most find their place eventually, even if it takes time.
“To all the students out there currently struggling with loneliness, my message is that your experience is more common than you realize, and for most students most of the time, it gets better,” Binning said. “Just keep putting yourself out there.”