{"id":13338,"date":"2025-10-24T05:50:11","date_gmt":"2025-10-24T05:50:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/13338\/"},"modified":"2025-10-24T05:50:11","modified_gmt":"2025-10-24T05:50:11","slug":"affordable-ish-housing-in-pittsburgh-your-house-is-laughing-at-me-edition-pittsburgh-city-paper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/13338\/","title":{"rendered":"Affordable-ish Housing in Pittsburgh: Your house is laughing at me edition – Pittsburgh City Paper"},"content":{"rendered":"

I bleed black and gold and probably a little Heinz ketchup, since my grandpa was Heinz\u2019 last blacksmith. I\u2019ve interviewed everyone connected with Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, including the guy who is known solely for getting a machete stuck in his head. I judged a Mike Lange sound-alike contest alongside the Penguins legend Mike Lange himself. I trained my palate to actually like (even prefer) IC Light Mango.\u00a0<\/p>\n

So, few are more Pittsburgh-brained than me. And even I think this is kind of ridiculous: National Geographic just named Pittsburgh among \u00a0\u201cThe Best Places in the World to Travel to in 2026.\u201d<\/a> \u00a0There we are, up there with Rio de Janeiro, Milan, and Vancouver.<\/p>\n

Look, it\u2019s good to aspire to greatness, and I think we should shoot a little higher than our usual goal of being slightly better than Cleveland and Cincinnati. However, self-deprecation is also a pretty deeply ingrained Pittsburgh trait; good luck getting us to actually take a compliment without turning it into a joke.<\/p>\n

Plus, there are towns of less than 1,000 in the Swiss Alps with better public transit than us. Let\u2019s be a little humble here.<\/p>\n

For sale: 2130 Pittview Ave.,<\/a> Troy Hill, $250,000.<\/p>\n

This house looks like it\u2019s laughing at me, and I can\u2019t help but respect its audacity. You keep on chuckling, strangely large Troy Hill house!\u00a0 2,100 square feet is nothing in the suburbs but it\u2019s positively enormous in Troy Hill. It accomplishes this by looking like three different houses, in three different styles and\/or claddings, stacked on top of each other. It\u2019s odd, but hey, it\u2019s got a garage and a gigantic porch on top of it, and you don\u2019t usually get both in the city.<\/p>\n

\"\"2031 Lautner St. Credit: Courtesy of Zillow<\/p>\n

For sale: 2031 Lautner St.,<\/a> Troy Hill, $365,000.<\/p>\n

This price is on the high side for Troy Hill, a solid neighborhood with a lot of cheaper homes available. However, it\u2019s in very good shape and also has multiple weird little windows,and I\u2019m kind of a sucker for those. This one looks like a scared face reacting with horror at its howling-mad neighbor \u2026 and, plot twist, they are conjoined together for eternity! Somebody, write this screenplay!<\/p>\n

\"\"1026 N. Canal St. Credit: Courtesy of Zillow<\/p>\n

For rent: 1026 N. Canal St.,<\/a> Sharpsburg, $1,200\/month.<\/p>\n

Oh, you want a nice normal apartment to rent? Haha, boy are you in the wrong place. I mean, I tried, but that got pretty boring fast. So, now you have to look at this weird Sharpsburg home whose surfaces refuse to meet at right angles \u2014 like a German Expressionist silent film with slightly better lighting \u2014 which seems to reveal the fractured psyche of its creator. Or, maybe it\u2019s just old and kind of settled into this shape over time.<\/p>\n

\"\"1188 New Hampshire Dr. Credit: Courtesy of Zillow<\/p>\n

For sale: 1188 New Hampshire Dr.,<\/a> Marshall-Shadeland, $114,900.<\/p>\n

Picture Pittsburgh in 1940 when this little house was built. We finally made it through the Great Depression, and the steel mills were burning bright around the clock, a tiny spark of hope in world subsumed in fascism\u2019s looming darkness. Somehow, this cute little guy made it through that, and everything else since then. For that reason, I\u2019m willing to overlook the metal awning and new faux-wood floors. I hope I look this good at 85.<\/p>\n

\"\"1616 Myler St. Credit: Courtesy of Zillow<\/p>\n

For sale: 1616 Myler St.,<\/a> Fineview, $191,500.<\/p>\n

Another 1940 house, with a kitchen that looks like it hasn\u2019t changed one iota since Grandpa came home from the war. (Hopefully, there were a few Duquesne Pilsners chilling in that bright red vintage fridge.) Did all home appliances look like Streamline Moderne automobiles back then? If so, why did that have to change?<\/p>\n

\"\"1721 S. Canal St. Credit: Courtesy of Zillow<\/p>\n

For rent: 1721 S. Canal St.,<\/a> Sharpsburg, $970-1,220\/month.<\/p>\n

When you reach a certain age, there\u2019s apparently an overwhelming urge to talk shit about the subsequent generations. I generally don\u2019t indulge; just don\u2019t ask me to care about manosphere influencers or K-Pop and we\u2019re cool. But here\u2019s one exception: we all know who\u2019s dropping the minimalist-greige bomb on Pittsburgh interiors, and it ain\u2019t us Gen-X\u2019ers still wearing flannels from 1993. If the last deep-fried-Yinzer kitchens and bathrooms are hunted to extinction from even their ancestral homelands like Sharpsburg, you\u2019re going to have a problem with me. \u00a0<\/p>\n

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