As someone who plans more than 70 business events every year for the Greater Reading Chamber Alliance, I spend a lot of time watching people network.<\/p>\n
At our Women2Women and Family Business Alliance events, we intentionally reserve the first half hour for networking. The same goes for small business programs like Coffee&Convos and Lunch&Learns. Signature events like Breakfast4Success, the Annual Dinner, and the Picnic & Games all create opportunities for people to connect with leaders from across Greater Reading. And then there\u2019s our monthly Networking@Night, which is pure networking.<\/p>\n
After years of observing conversations across ballrooms, restaurants, stadiums and conference rooms, I can confidently say this: networking is not most people\u2019s favorite activity.<\/p>\n
And honestly? I understand why.<\/p>\n
Most networking conversations start the same way:\u201cWhat do you do?\u201d\u201cHow are you?\u201d\u201cHow\u2019s it going?\u201d<\/p>\n
Recently, I came across an interview with communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards, author of \u201cCaptivate and Cues,\u201d and her opening statement immediately grabbed my attention:<\/p>\n
\u201cStop asking, \u2018What do you do?\u2019 Stop asking, \u2018How are ya?\u2019 Stop asking \u2018How\u2019s it going?\u2019 \u2026 Those are the most boring questions anyone\u2019s ever asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
It made me laugh \u2014 but it also made me think.<\/p>\n
The problem isn\u2019t networking itself. The problem is that many of us are stuck in autopilot conversations that don\u2019t help us connect with people.<\/p>\n
When I was a teenager, my dad insisted I occasionally put down the fantasy novels I loved and read nonfiction books that would help me connect with people as an adult. Books like \u201cWho Moved My Cheese?\u201d and \u201cHow to Win Friends and Influence People\u201d became unexpected lessons in communication and emotional intelligence.<\/p>\n
One of the biggest takeaways from Dale Carnegie\u2019s nearly 100-year-old classic still sticks with me today: people love talking about the things they care about.<\/p>\n
If you can get someone talking about themselves \u2014 or about something meaningful to them \u2014 they\u2019ll usually walk away feeling good about the interaction. That\u2019s not manipulation. It\u2019s empathy. It\u2019s creating space for people to feel seen and heard.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why I loved some of the alternative networking questions Vanessa suggested.<\/p>\n
Instead of \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d she recommends asking: \u201cWorking on anything exciting these days?\u201d<\/p>\n
What I like about this question is that it gives people freedom. If their work is exciting to them, they\u2019ll naturally talk about it. But if they\u2019re passionate about something outside of work \u2014 a project, hobby, volunteer opportunity or family milestone \u2014 they can share that instead. You also gain something far more valuable than a job title: a memorable detail you can follow up on later.<\/p>\n
Another question she recommends is: \u201cWhat\u2019s your biggest goal right now?\u201d<\/p>\n
This question instantly changes the energy of a conversation. People who are growth-minded tend to light up when they talk about what they\u2019re building, improving or pursuing. You learn quickly what motivates someone, and it often leads to deeper conversations than standard small talk ever could.<\/p>\n
And one of my favorites: \u201cWhat book, movie or TV character is most like you \u2014 and why?\u201d<\/p>\n
It sounds playful, but it reveals a surprising amount about how someone sees themselves, what they value and even their sense of humor.<\/p>\n
The truth is that meaningful networking isn\u2019t about collecting business cards or perfecting an elevator pitch. It\u2019s about curiosity.<\/p>\n
The people who leave the strongest impression at events usually are not the loudest people in the room. They\u2019re the people who ask thoughtful questions, genuinely listen and make others feel comfortable.<\/p>\n
So, the next time you walk into a networking event \u2014 whether it\u2019s a GRCA mixer, a coffee meetup or a professional conference \u2014 challenge yourself to move beyond \u201cWhat do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
You might walk away with something far more valuable than a contact.<\/p>\n
You might walk away with an actual connection.<\/p>\n
Katie Johnsen is the Event Coordinator for the Greater Reading Chamber Alliance<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As someone who plans more than 70 business events every year for the Greater Reading Chamber Alliance, I…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":227905,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[349,60,1559,1560,28,128,130,129,706],"class_list":["post-227904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-reading","tag-berks-county","tag-business","tag-opinion","tag-opinion-columnists","tag-pennsylvania","tag-reading-city","tag-reading-city-headlines","tag-reading-city-news","tag-top-stories-reg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227904\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/227905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}