{"id":308770,"date":"2026-10-17T15:00:08","date_gmt":"2026-10-17T15:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/308770\/"},"modified":"2026-10-17T15:00:08","modified_gmt":"2026-10-17T15:00:08","slug":"we-dont-know-why-our-neighbors-dont-like-us-what-should-we-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/308770\/","title":{"rendered":"We don’t know why our neighbors don’t like us. What should we do?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This week\u2019s question (Have your own? Submit it here<\/a>.):<\/p>\n

We moved a few months ago and love the neighborhood, but keep getting the sense that our neighbors two doors over just don\u2019t like us. We always try to say hi when they\u2019re outside and chat and get to know them, but they\u2019re always quite short with us.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s odd because we\u2019ve heard they\u2019re nice, nosy even, but they\u2019ve never shown any interest in us. We did do a tiny bit of interior construction before we moved in but they should not have been able to hear that.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I can muster up, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you like us?\u201d What should I do?<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman, Food & Dining Reporter<\/p>\n

I understand the inclination for your neighbors to like you, especially in a place like Philly, but the introvert in me is like, \u201cWhy do you want to be on the radar of a couple of nosy people?\u201d<\/p>\n

Zoe Greenberg, Life & Culture Reporter<\/p>\n

I see a few possible paths. One of which is to adopt the introverted personality of Beatrice and a Zen attitude and simply let it go. Not everyone has to be friends.<\/p>\n

Although, Beatrice, I don\u2019t think of you as an introvert, but that\u2019s for another conversation.<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman<\/p>\n

I live a double life, Zoe.<\/p>\n

This made me think of when my friend and I lived in a Point Breeze rowhouse and one of our neighbors really didn\u2019t take a liking to us because we couldn\u2019t make it to a block party. No matter how sweet we were after \u2014 looking out for their packages, offering to shovel their steps in the winter \u2014 we couldn\u2019t change their mind. And in hindsight, instead of trying to win them over, we probably should\u2019ve worked harder on building deeper connections with the neighbors who were warm to us.<\/p>\n

Zoe Greenberg<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tricky because sometimes we come up with all kinds of stories about why someone might not like us and the truth ends up being entirely different, like they\u2019re preoccupied with their kid\u2019s math homework. I was thinking of a second path for this eager neighbor, which is … to heavily apologize for the wrong you THINK you committed, in the hopes that your neighbor will clarify.<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman<\/p>\n

I actually don\u2019t think it\u2019s worth apologizing unless you think your neighbor won\u2019t do neighborly things for you at all, like protecting your packages from porch pirates or loaning you a shovel to dig out your car.<\/p>\n

Zoe Greenberg<\/p>\n

If they remain committed to wanting to be friends with these nosy neighbors, what about going on a full-on charm offensive?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking brownies.<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman<\/p>\n

Do you remember the great chili-for-your-neighbors<\/a> debate of 2022, Zoe? I\u2019m inclined to think that if these people don\u2019t already like our eager beaver, they\u2019d be more likely to read the brownies as annoying and not charming.<\/p>\n

Zoe Greenberg<\/p>\n

Wow, I had no idea. I would love chili.<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman<\/p>\n

I also would love chili! But, if a person I disliked \u2014 even for no reason \u2014 brought me chili just because, I would find it annoying because then I\u2019d feel expected to reciprocate, and so on begins a cycle of bringing chili with no meaning behind it.<\/p>\n

Zoe Greenberg<\/p>\n

So it seems like your advice is no charm, no brownies, no apologies, just keep it moving.<\/p>\n

Beatrice Forman<\/p>\n

Yes, AND instead go above and beyond for the neighbors who seem to like you, and that you seem to like back.<\/p>\n

Otherwise, just model what you believe neighborly behavior is for the nosy folks down the block. Hopefully that they should do the same.<\/p>\n

\"Beatrice<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m a food writer who covers how trends are reshaping Philadelphia’s dynamic food scene, from the growth of Philly’s restaurant merch to why venture capital-backed chains can’t stop coming to our city. I also cover labor dynamics \u2014 and changes to the workplace \u2014 within the hospitality industry. <\/p>\n

\"Zoe<\/a><\/p>\n

I write feature stories that get to the heart of what it means to be a Philadelphian, from charting curious trends to profiling the people shaping our city and region to examining our most pressing tensions. I\u2019m also the creator of Life Partners, a series about unexpected intimate relationships. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"This week\u2019s question (Have your own? Submit it here.): We moved a few months ago and love the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":308771,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[126492,69,71,70],"class_list":["post-308770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-philadelphia","tag-neighbors-dont-like-us","tag-philadelphia","tag-philadelphia-headlines","tag-philadelphia-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308770","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=308770"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308770\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/308771"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=308770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=308770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-pa\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=308770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}