Holy Moses. Poo Live Crew — America’s favorite cover band — can even inspire divine fire.

For your consideration:

At 13:46 of the fourth quarter in TCU’s Protestant denominational showdown Saturday with archrival Baylor, the head official – relying no doubt on the cardinal virtue of prudence — shooed everyone off the field.

Lightning.

Sounded like a great opportunity for interdepartmental collaboration with theater and religion folks: a Mount Sinai Exodus reenactment.

And then at 6:42, the head official gave this great idea of mine another chance. And then shortly after a third opportunity. More lightning … and more lightning.

We could have gotten in Moses on Mount Sinai and Elijah on Mount Carmel telling King Ahab and Baal’s prophets to put up or shut up.

But, alas, not so much. Simply not in the cards.

Come on, Eileen. However, was it a coincidence that Poo Live Crew played an alumni association pep rally Friday night, inspiring perhaps the fight in both TCU and Mother Nature? I don’t think so. The Poo is tantamount to Hypnotoad, who appeared with 10 minutes left in the game hours ago.

The Poo is renowned for lighting sparks and putting audiences in the right mind to win. Or something.

Well, anyway what it ultimately all meant was that we had three Interstate 35 kinds of waiting for a total of 2 hours and 16 minutes for play to finally resume in earnest.

I hate to do this to the development people, but is it perhaps time to start fundraising for a domeable football stadium at TCU? I know where they can start. When I went in search of something stronger than water after the announcement of the third delay, all I found were abandoned, desolate bars — all of them closed down for the day. They shut down in the fourth quarter, I’m told. What kind of money did TCU lose on Saturday? No wonder everybody left. A.I. can’t pour you a drink. The flask still has an important role to play in the 21st century. 

All’s well that (eventually) ends well.

It took more than 51/2 hours and plenty of fortitude, but we all — well, a few of us, plus the band — stuck around to see TCU finally stave off the enemy Bears 42-36 in front of what at one point was 43,868 at Amon G. Carter Stadium on Saturday.

This is one the Horned Frogs absolutely had to have if they were to retain hopes of a December drive to Arlington for the Big 12 Championship Game at AT&T Stadium. If this game had restarted with 7 minutes left instead of 6, we could have been in trouble. Everybody was certainly out of sorts sitting around all day, but Baylor seemed to be finding its footing at the tail end. 

It doesn’t matter to TCU coach Sonny Dykes, who will not apologize for winning football games. 

“We are the winningest team in the Big 12 the last three-and-a-half years, just so everybody knows that,” coach Sonny Dykes said. “Our players know how to win. They’ve done this before. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t really care. We won the football game. That was our objective.”

The Horned Frogs (5-2, 2-2 Big 12) have won 11 of their past 14 games, the coach reminded anybody who might have a critical eye. Most importantly — to one observer anyway — TCU has won five its past six against Baylor (4-3, 2-2).

When play finally began after 4 p.m., Kevorian Barnes took a direct snap and ran straight through the line for a 14-yard TD. On Baylor’s ensuing possession, TCU defensive back Jamel Johnson picked off Bears QB Sawyer Robertson, who threw another one, this one intercepted by Vernon Glover.

Johnson’s pick made up for a bad penalty that extended a Baylor drive in the first half and led to three points. Johnson was accused and found guilty of taunting on third down by a judge and jury outfitted in stripes. Is taunting the worst penalty in sports or what? He was ultimately forgiven — big plays serve as great penance — and presumably told to repent and sin no more. 

With Glover’s interception, it appeared to be set and match. However, Baylor made us sweat with two touchdowns in the final four minutes, plus a recovered onside kick with 30 seconds left.

Namdi Obiazor intercepted Robertson a third time to finally put it all on ice.

Hoover got the better of dueling quarterbacks, two of the better signal callers in the Big 12. Hoover was 22 for 31 for 231 yards and three touchdowns. Robertson has had better days. He had two touchdown passes 318 yards passing on 25-of-52. Three interceptions, however, are malpractice.

His day was exemplified on a third down in the first half. Bears receiver Kobe Prentice got loose, slipping past unsuspecting TCU defenders and running all alone down the sideline, but Robertson missed him — the pass sailing just out of reach of the diving receiver. Baylor failed to convert on fourth down.

Jordan Dwyer was Hoover’s favorite target. Dwyer had seven catches for 111 yards and a touchdown. Barnes rushed for 106 yards and two touchdowns on 25 carries.

Let me end with a suggestion for next time. Bring back Poo Live Crew. Leave the lightning in Waco.