Stomping Ground Comedy Theater in the Design District offers hyper-specific comedy events.
Stomping Ground Comedy Theater
Dating is hard for everyone. Dating is especially hard for people who are neurodivergent, which is an umbrella term applied to people on the autism spectrum, those with anxiety, or hyperactivity and attention disorders. But if Netflix’s hit show Love on the Spectrum taught us anything, it’s that everybody wants to love and be loved.
Two local psychotherapists, Barbara Crowley and Andrea Baum, were discussing the importance of the show with clients when they decided to create their own, modified version. Both women specialize in working with mostly independent adults who can maintain things, jobs and driving, but have difficulty in social settings. The two, in conjunction with Stomping Ground Comedy Theater, are hosting a Neurodiverse Dating Social, an event that fuses elements of improv and traditional speed dating to help the neurodivergent community make social (and maybe even love) connections.
“I wouldn’t say [dating] was a grievance,” said Crowley when speaking about her clients’ experiences. “It was more of a longing, maybe, that they would like to have friends and they would like to date. Several of my clients would say, ‘If you had a dating group, I would go as long as you were there as the wingman.’”
Baum and Crowley soon found their solution. Baum is a co-founder of Stomping Ground, a comedy space in the Design District that offers improv classes for a variety of hyperspecific groups, like dementia caregivers, as well as other comedy events.
“Improv can be really incredible for people. Anyone, really, but specifically for people who are neurodivergent,” Baum said. “It can be incredibly helpful to practice a lot of social skills without forcing people to do anything that they don’t want to because it’s in a very playful environment.”
Crowley says improv is especially beneficial for people who are used to using the tool of masking, a conscious suppression of autistic traits for social acceptance. The quick tempo of improv offers little time to hesitate, creating unquestioned authenticity that facilitates connection.
“I don’t want to force them to be a square peg in a round hole,” she said. “I want them to be a square peg for somebody who appreciates a square peg. It’s also just giving people a space to be themselves without having to second-guess everything they’re saying. It’s low stakes.”
The event will start with entry-level improv games, led by an experienced member of Stomping Ground. No experience is needed, and the games are developed to encourage conversation rather than wholly improvised scenes. After the games conclude and participants are comfortable with one another, the group will open into a free-mingle time. At the end of the night, the improvisers are invited to write down the names of the three people they connected with the most, and if it’s a match, they’ll receive contact information.
Baum and Crowley say the improv portion is essential to making the night work and to create comfort before the social portion.
“Speed dating isn’t exactly great for anybody. You have to have a lot of communication skills to be able to do that well,” said Baum. “We started talking about this idea of using improv because there are so many different exercises, and improv can help people get to know one another.”
Baum and Crowley discourage loved ones from registering neurodivergent individuals in their lives for the event without their consent. Mostly because it would meddle with “romantic kismet,” but also because it’s really not cool to do that, obviously.
Organic dating is daunting, but even inorganic dating via apps doesn’t work very well for neurodivergent people. So, the two women are looking to fill the gap. Still, they say there’s no pressure to meet ‘the one.’
“We’re hoping that we connect some people,” said Baum. “If anything, dating, love, or just even a friendship would be great. It’s something we’re both really passionate about – bringing this community together and giving them a place to meet one another.”
The first Neurodiverse Dating Social takes place on Feb. 12 at Stomping Grounds Comedy Theater. Tickets are $34.