Is it just me, or is there an unspoken code that every Lubbock local follows the moment they walk into a grocery store?
Photo by Raquel Martínez on Unsplash
You can move away from here for 15 or 20 years, but the second you start pushing a cart through United, the muscle memory of Lubbock shopping trips kicks in like you’d never been anywhere else at all. A grocery trip in Lubbock isn’t just shopping — it’s more like social anthropology (with a dash of samples if you’re at Costco on the right day.)
Photo by Marie-Michèle Bouchard on UnsplashRule #1
You will see someone you know in the store. Whether it’s your ex, your neighbor, your preacher, or your boss, Lubbock grocery stores are where past lives collide. If you think you can get away with wearing your hair up in a messy bun and throwing on some house shoes, you’re wrong. The grocery store can turn into the red carpet at the worst possible moment.
Photo by John Cameron on UnsplashRule #2
Small talk at the checkout line isn’t optional in Lubbock. It even confused my pal visiting from overseas recently. “Do you talk to all the strangers in town that you don’t know?” “Yes. Yes, I do. It’s a thing here.” Whether you’re chatting about the recent game or grocery store prices, you have to make small talk.
Photo by David Clarke on UnsplashRule #3
This is the most important rule of them all, and one that unfortunately hasn’t made it to the back of the room, so listen up. Your shopping cart belongs in the car corral after you’ve finished loading your groceries in the car. You don’t just push it into a dark corner of the parking lot. PUT IT AWAY. And, shame on anyone you come across who doesn’t take number 3 seriously.
Photo by Maria Lin Kim on Unsplash
There you have it, folks. In Lubbock, grocery shopping isn’t just about the food; it’s also about the community, and of course, the art of pretending you didn’t just buy 3 boxes of wine and 16 frozen pizzas when you catch your heart doctor out of the corner of your eye at checkout.
Keep scrolling for more Lubbock-based fun in the galleries below, and happy shopping!
The Seven Natural Disasters of LubbockThings get messy around here, folks. Gallery Credit: Chrissy J. RayThe HaboobA massive wall of dirt so thick, it starts confusing you. Is it midnight? Lunchtime? What the heck?. You’ll spend the next few days brushing dirt out of your teeth.
Photo by Cerys Lowe on UnsplashThe WindpocalpseYour trampoline and your neighbor’s grill become one in a special ceremony, also known as ‘The Friggin’ Wind’.
Photo by Colin Lloyd on UnsplashThe Great Ice StormBlack ice does us real dirty, cars go skating down the loop, power lines are effed. It’s the Winter Olympics in Lubbock that nobody asks for. Trust me. It’s coming.
Photo by frame harirak on UnsplashThe Unpredictable Rain BombAfter months of drought, we’ll get 8 inches of rain in less than 20 minutes, flooding every underpass, and turning Milwaukee Ave into dadgum white water rapids.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on UnsplashThe Pollen TsunamiYour lungs, car, and dignity are covered in a bright yellow film. Allergy meds only laugh at you for being naive enough to think you’ll make it without a prescription of the strong stuff.
Photo by Brandon Stoll on UnsplashGrasshopper Season (aka The Locust Plague)Each summer, the sky darkens with little crunchy kamakiaze buggos, smackin’ into your windshield, your porch lights, until they evenutally get to your soul.
Photo by Chris Haws on UnsplashThe Game Day StampedeNo, it’s not an earthquake—it’s just thousands of drunk tech students storming Broadway after a big win (or, honestly, a major loss). They don’t care. They’re gonna run amok. Lubbock Date Nights: Weathering The Storm, Hand in HandLubbock’s wild weather often becomes a compatibility test on date night… Gallery Credit: Chrissy
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on UnsplashFirst Dates in The DustAh, yes, nothing says “romance” like grass in your hair. Bonus points if you find dirt crunchies floating in your drink and swallow them awkwardly without mentioning it.
Photo by Michael Starkie on UnsplashWeather Vs. HairYou thought you’d straighten your hair for once, just to look cute for him. The weather said, “Nah, girl.” Curly it is. Ugh.
Photo by Joel Goodman on UnsplashThe Car TestIf your date volunteers to drive during a downpour, and they don’t mind your obnoxious backseat driving, they just might be the one…
Photo by Ladislav Stercell on UnsplashThe Makeup MeltdownEyeliner doesn’t stand a chance against airborne dirt. By the end of the night, you’ll be a raccoon. But, guess what? I hear he thinks raccoons are cute!
Photo by Thibault Penin on UnsplashThe Cop-OutSometimes, you’ve just gotta wave the white flag and opt for a night of Netflix and chill. Word on the street, that’s the fastest way to the sheets…
Photo by Joy Memon on UnsplashRomantic ComparisonsAround here, we don’t just measure relationships in anniversaries. We also measure them by how many close tornado encounters we’ve survived together.