They shuffled to each station in silence: The police. The clergy. The shelter. Their friends and family.
The interactive experiment, led this week by staff from the Genesis Women’s Shelter and Support, allowed more than a dozen participants to walk in the shoes of a woman experiencing domestic violence.
The names had been changed, but their stories were real. So were the choices they faced. Would they ask for help? Would they leave him for good or go back again? Would they survive?
For 1 in 3 women in Texas, it’s a lived experience, said Amy Norton, Genesis’ chief development officer. Since last October, Dallas police alone have recorded more than 10,700 family violence crimes and more than 5,300 intimate partner crimes.
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This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Norton sat down with The Dallas Morning News to discuss the best ways to seek help for yourself or someone you love.
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Amy Norton, chief development officer of Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support, poses for a photo at the reception area of Genesis at South Oak Cliff, during an open house on March 29, 2025, in Dallas.
Chitose Suzuki / Staff Photographer
This conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.
How do you know when it’s time to get help?
Norton: In any long-term relationship, we’re always going to have friction with our partner, right? The difference between a frustrating relationship and an abusive relationship is that within an abusive relationship, there’s more of a presence of fear. We know the abuser exerts power and control over the victim in order to manipulate to achieve a certain outcome.
We also know that abuse comes in many more forms outside of physical. It can be verbal, emotional; there’ll be isolation, there’ll be name calling. We know that there’s also a cycle, which means it’s not always going to be bad. There’s times when things are wonderful and so we work through the abusive scary times to get back to the part where we kind of have that renewed sense of hope that maybe they are changing, or this is what I’m fighting for.
I think the right time to call is anytime you’re contemplating that it could possibly be abusive — especially if there’s any fear in the relationship. If the abuser walks in the room and you feel fearful of their next move, or if you’re in the kitchen arguing with your abuser and you feel fearful that they may take it too far or scare you or your children, it’s time, definitely time, to call.
What can they expect after calling or texting Genesis’ hotline?
Norton: When someone calls, we’re not going to just tell them they have to leave the relationship. I think a lot of women are scared that they’re just going to tell me to leave and I don’t want to leave. I love him. But we’re here to listen to her and her experience, to hear what she wants for her and her children, and then to help her reach the next step no matter what that might be.
One of the first things we’ll do is safety plan, which means that we’re going to let her tell us what her situation currently is. Maybe she is just contemplating and wants to talk through what happened the night before, to maybe set up an appointment to come in and talk to a therapist. Or maybe he’s actively in the other room banging on her bedroom door and there is immediate danger. No matter where she falls on that spectrum, we’ll work with her in that moment to immediately make a safety plan, a future safety plan and talk to her about what that next step may be.
Every situation is so different and so complex, and we want her to be a part of the decisions about her own life. We want her to be in control about what happens next in her own life. And we’re here to stand next to her and help her get the resources to achieve that.
Asking for help with domestic violence doesn’t inherently require leaving home. What other services could someone be offered after talking with Genesis about their situation?
Norton: The emergency shelter piece is actually a very small part of what survivors need. It is definitely a lifesaving resource for many, but most of the women we serve don’t ever set foot inside our emergency shelter. Instead, they actually seek out our non-residential services, which include individual and group counseling, but we also have an incredible team of advocates on site who are here to help work with her on what we might consider to be more basic needs. Maybe our advocates are working with her to make sure that she has her hands on birth certificates and social security cards. Maybe he stole her driver’s license and cut it up, so we’re working on getting a new driver’s license. She may be ready and willing to leave the relationship psychologically, but if she has no car, if she has no money, if she doesn’t have family in state, if the shelters are full, her opportunities are extremely limited. So, our advocates are on site to help make sure that those are not obstacles for her achieving her next goals.
Beyond that, we also have our legal team to support civil legal representation. So, when we get to the custody piece, the family law, we stand ready to help her. No cost, no strings attached. We also offer incredible occupational therapy. We recently discovered a few years ago that that was a missing piece to the puzzle for survivors of abuse being able to heal, so we incorporated that as well.
You mentioned the advocates on site. Does Genesis accept walk-ins for those who may feel more comfortable talking with someone in person?
Norton: We certainly will greet and … accept walk-ins. There may be a little bit of a wait, but we are set up programmatically that we have an on-call counselor ready for those who may need to walk in and talk to someone.
If someone isn’t ready to reach out to a place like Genesis just yet, where would you recommend they start?
Norton: We very often see that before someone might reach out to a place like Genesis, they will often turn to friends, and because of that, our resounding message is that the best way to support her is to listen and believe her and refer her to a place like Genesis, because everything is just so complex and can get dangerous.
A lot of women also will turn to their faith. So a call to action we have for faith communities is to partner with Genesis. We want faith leaders to come and learn about Genesis. We want to come to your faith community and teach you about Genesis so that not if, but when your congregants turn to you for hope and help, that we can be there as a trusted resource.
If a woman has sought help from Genesis before, but later went back to the relationship, can she reach out again?
Norton: It is absolutely, completely common. A woman on average will leave and return to the relationship at least seven times before deciding she wants to leave permanently. We also know that each time she leaves the relationship or tries to break it off, there is a very high probability of violence escalating.
As with any big life change, we rarely are able to do it as a one and done thing. Trying to quit smoking, getting back in the gym, these are all things that might make our lifestyle healthier, but man, who in the whole world does it on the first try? The women who come to us are the most brilliant, incredible, strong women we’ve ever known because they are constantly having to weigh the choices that they’re given and pick the one that is the safest, which still may not be safe.
What’s your call to action to the greater community?
Norton: A very common question we get … is the “Why doesn’t she just leave?” I would ask our community to start looking at: Why does he do it in the first place? We put so much focus on helping the victim, which we will always do, but a big part of what Genesis also does is raise awareness and create a zero-tolerance policy for violence in the first place.
When men start to take a stand, it speaks volumes. And you can quote me on this: I say, if women could have stopped or ended domestic violence, we would’ve done it a hell of a long time ago.
The Dallas-based Genesis Women Shelter’s helpline is answered by call and by text 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for confidential, free help at 214-946-HELP (4357). The National Domestic Violence Hotline also offers free, confidential support 24/7. Call 1-800-799-7233, text “START” to 88788 or visit thehotline.org.