The Dallas Stars saw how much better the Minnesota Wild got after trading for a Vancouver Canucks defenseman, and decided to follow suit on Wednesday. Unfortunately for them, the Stars did not land Quinn Hughes, but instead have opted to re-home the Chaos Giraffe. 

Tyler Myers got that nickname for two reasons: For one, he is an actual giraffe. His cousin was Geoffrey of Toys R Us fame. He stands at 6-foot-8, 229 pounds, and often has the coordination of a giraffe on ice skates.

That leads to the second reason: He’ll create mayhem out on the rink, whether accidentally, on purpose, or occasionally, simultaneously.

It’s easy to see why Dallas would give up a second and fourth-round pick to land Myers (with 50% of his salary retained through next year). They’re likely facing a big showdown with the Wild in the first round, and want to load up with a physical right-shot defenseman who can smother Minnesota’s potent offense. This should suit the Wild just fine, because Myers is not particularly capable of doing the thing the Stars will ask him to do.

That’s because Myers has long rated as one of the worst defensemen in the league. Myers’ size and physicality come with a cost, and that’s generally being bad at actually defending and going to the penalty box a lot.

His flaws have cost the Vancouver Canucks two points in the standings, which is great for a team that’s full-on tanking for Gavin McKenna. It is not so great for a team that’s trying to chase down the Colorado Avalanche for the Central Division lead, or has to stare down Kirill Kaprizov, Matt Boldy, and Quinn Hughes in Round 1.

Over the last four seasons, Myers is the ninth-worst defenseman in terms of Evolving-Hockey’s Standings Points Above Replacement, worth negative 4.5 points in that span. He’s sub-replacement level on offense and defense, but really “excels” at taking bad penalties. Myers’ minus-83 penalty differential is the worst of any NHLer over the last four years. 

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The Stars won’t have the luxury of putting Myers down in the lineup and hoping that his play will get more efficient with less demanding usage. Beyond Esa Lindell in his top-line role, they were playing the extremely mid Nils Lundkvist in a top-four role, with ineffective veterans Ilya Lyubushkin and Alexander Petrovic on the third pair.

The Stars are going to have to pick their poison and ask Myers to either shut down Kaprizov’s top line or Boldy’s line with Joel Eriksson Ek. Kaprizov and Boldy have combined for 70 goals this year, so it’s not worked out for much of anyone, but it definitely shouldn’t work out for Dallas. Myers didn’t exactly have a track record of shutting down Kaprizov in Vancouver. The Wild’s superstar has nine goals and 19 points in 13 games against the Canucks, with four goals and three assists coming against Myers. 

Furthermore, Myers’ biggest weakness plays into Minnesota’s biggest strength. The Wild are only 14th in 5-on-5 goals-for percentage (51.8%), 18th in 5-on-5 goals per hour, and break even on expected goals. The Stars have an advantage if the game stays at 5-on-5. Myers has a way of not making the game stay at 5-on-5.

Is it good to put an elite power play on the ice a bunch? That’s the question the Stars might have to answer now that they have Myers in tow. Since pairing Hughes with Kaprizov and Boldy on the power play, the Wild are a staggering 29-for-95 on the man advantage. That 30.5% conversion rate would be third in the NHL for the full season, behind only the Edmonton Oilers (34.3%) and Stars (31.6%). Hynes has the Wild playing disciplined hockey, which would mitigate against Dallas’ star-studded power play. Adding Myers makes the Stars more vulnerable. 

Make no mistake, the Stars are still a deadly first-round opponent. Their forward depth is still incredible, even without Tyler Seguin. Miro Heiskanen is one of the few NHL defensemen who can claim to be near Hughes’ league. But the overwhelming task of getting past the Stars in the playoffs appears to have gotten a bit easier.

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