5 min readThis Week in the Laboratories of Democracy
(Permanent Musical Accompaniment to This Post)
Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what’s goin’ down in the several states where, as we know, the real work of governmentin’ gets done, and where they sing “Danny Boy” and recite the Lord’s Prayer, and people talk about Christ betrayed.
Apologies to the shebeen that our semi-regular weekly survey was delayed by a day, but the president keeps firing attorneys general. Sometimes it’s hard to catch up. But anyway…
We begin in Minnesota, and we caution our good friends up there to be careful on the roads in severe weather and when the state legislature is in session. From the Minnesota Reformer:
Minnesota Rep. Elliott Engen, R-White Bear Township, was arrested early morning Friday on suspicion of driving while impaired. White Bear Lake Police Chief Dale Hager in a statement said that at about 1:51 a.m. Friday in White Bear Lake, officers pulled over a vehicle for traffic violations, including speeding, expired tabs and a broken headlight. White Bear officers arrested the driver, identified as Rep. Engen, for suspicion of driving while impaired. Hager said Engen took a breath test at the White Bear Lake Police Department where he blew a .13 blood alcohol concentration. The legal limit is .08. Engen was booked into the Ramsey County Adult Detention Center at 4:42 a.m. and released at 6:21 a.m Friday morning. The Minnesota House had a six-hour floor session on Thursday night that ended around 9:30 p.m.
Is there some hypocrisy involved here? Well, there’s a Republican involved here, so draw your own conclusions.
Engen’s DUI arrest means that both a Republican and a DFL [Democratic-Farmer-Labor] candidate for state auditor have been arrested for driving while impaired. In 2023, [Rep. Dan] Wolgamott was arrested in Kanabec County on suspicion of DWI—his blood alcohol concentration was .09—and a few months later pleaded guilty to a DWI charge. Back in September, Engen alluded to Wolgamott’s drunken driving charge after Wolgamott launched his auditor campaign. “The DFL has been drunk at the wheel in protecting taxpayer dollars from systemic fraud,” Engen posted on X.
I am more concerned with why Minnesota politicians of both parties seem unfamiliar with the concept of taxicabs, let alone ride-sharing apps.
House Speaker Lisa Demuth, R-Cold Spring, released a statement to the Reformer: “I’m extremely disappointed to learn of Rep. Engen’s arrest. I will be working to gather information about the circumstances of his arrest and charges and will address this directly with Rep. Engen and consider further consequences as the legal process unfolds.” The second-term legislator—who is among the state’s first Gen Z lawmakers—joins a growing list of Minnesota legislators arrested on suspicion of drunk driving while in office in recent years, including Sen. John Jasinski, R-Faribault; Sen. Tou Xiong DFL-Maplewood (twice); Rep. Brion Curran, DFL-White Bear Lake; and Rep. Dan Wolgamott, DFL-St. Cloud, who is a Democratic-Farmer-Labor candidate for state auditor.
Good God, people. Get it together.
We move along to Florida, which has a deeper and richer history of politicians who belong in a zoo. Here’s one James Fishback, a GOP candidate for governor, chatting with a constituent. The constituent wanted to talk about Fishback’s alleged dalliance with a teenager.
“I don’t want you ever speaking about women in our state like that ever again,” said Fishback. “I mean, I don’t want you ever smashing girls, teenage girls, in our state ever again,” the voter shot back. “So promise me, never smash a minor again?”“Why haven’t I been arrested?” said Fishback. “Why haven’t I been arrested? You should be lynched!”
Well, that seems extreme.
We move along to Texas, where Attorney General Ken Paxton, who is running against Republican Senator John Cornyn in a primary election, once again is in the middle of another exercise of monkey-mischief with taxpayer money. The man is a fortune wheel of government corruption. From the Texas Tribune:
Attorney General Ken Paxton’s office is under scrutiny after agency employees reallocated taxpayer-funded hotel rooms to donors and other private citizens, some of whom failed to cover the cost of the stay until the state comptroller began auditing the agency’s finances earlier this year. Two senior officials involved in the incident resigned soon after it was brought to agency leadership’s attention.The more recent investigation centers on hotel rooms the agency booked for employees attending last year’s inauguration of President Donald Trump and Supreme Court arguments over a new state law, defended by Paxton’s office, that requires adult websites to verify users’ ages.
Whoa there, cowboy.
The agency paid more than $20,000 for a nonrefundable block of 10 hotel rooms at the Courtyard Marriott. Then, a winter storm prevented several of the travelers from getting to Washington. The agency would have been on the hook for approximately $16,000 of unused hotel rooms, documents obtained through an open records request show. Instead, agency employees identified private citizens who wanted the rooms and agreed to pay out of pocket for them. The people who agreed to take the rooms included major Paxton donors.
Among those donors was a “controversial Albanian businessman.” If I am a politician with Paxton’s history, I do not want to be associated with any list that contains anyone with those bona fides. But that’s just me.
And we conclude, as is our custom, in the great state of Oklahoma, whence Blog Official Goat Translator Friedman of the Algarve brings us a story about how ICE has learned not to mess with the Choctaw. From KOSU:
When in business, the 1.2 million-square-foot Big Lots distribution facility employed more than 300 workers. It closed in January 2025 due to the company’s overall financial distress. “We are evaluating how to use this adjoining property as part of our efforts to support operational growth and exploring a variety of potential uses that align with our strategic vision,” [Chief Gary] Batton said in a statement. “This is an opportunity to enhance our presence and continue driving economic prosperity for our tribal members and the surrounding community.”The potential for the former Big Lots distribution center to open an ICE detention facility came under fire in January, when both the Choctaw Nation and Durant City Council took precautionary measures to ensure the facility aligned with their communities’ best interests. … Choctaw Nation council members sounded the alarm that the facility is “unacceptably close to the nation’s governmental headquarters” and community-serving facilities, including childcare and elderly services. The council then unanimously passed an oppositional bill, which Batton later signed into law. When talking about the tribe’s opposition to the facility in January, Batton said it would be like having a detention center close to the White House. “We don’t want it close to our facility … due to the safety and concern for our young and for our old, but also for all of our employees, our customers that come here,” Batton said in an interview about the bill.
Turns out having a prison camp nearby doesn’t do much for the local aesthetics. There’s an old story about the opening of Candlestick Park in San Francisco. Shortly before Opening Day, a Giants official took some reporters on a tour, and one of the reporters commented that the park’s design was, well, stark. “So,” replied the club official, “We’ll paint a fcking flower on it.”
This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.