The Wisdom Of Front Porch Philosophers In Lubbock, Texas

If you grew up in Lubbock, you know all about our front porch philosophers. They don’t stand behind microphones on stages. They’re more comfortable in a folding chair beneath a porch light, and their opinions are older than most of our daddies’ pickup trucks. These are the men and women who can mend your fence, your heart, and they often can change your perspective all before sundown.

Philosophers Are All Around Us

They’re storytellers, weather predictors, and the kind of folk who say, “now lemme tell you something..” before a long-winded story that almost always ends with a laugh and something profound. Their language is that of parables disguised as small talk; they know the rain is coming by the way the air smells, and somehow, they can tell whether or not you’re telling the truth just by how you stir your tea.

Where To Find Them

Lubbock is full of front porch philosophers. You can find them almost anywhere. Sitting outside the hardware store reading the newspaper, enjoying the fall mornings with coffee on a park bench, or even slowly circling the block in an old beat-up truck on the off chance someone feels like having a chat.

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A Special Kind of Wisdom

Their advice doesn’t come with credentials, but it’s delivered with truth, humor, and a type of plainspoken grace that makes you feel cozy and understood. In a world hellbent on moving as fast as possible, it’s important to slow down and talk to a front porch philosopher now and then. Thinking of it as “touching grass” in a sense.

Rarely On The Internet

It’s a shame they aren’t typically on social media because we could all use some wisdom right now that isn’t from a celebrity or a politician. When I think of front porch philosophy, I think of my grandfather. I can only imagine the words of wisdom he would be sharing with us about the world today.

I do know one thing. He’d say not to worry and that everything will work itself out just fine. It always has, and it always will.

10 Lubbock Items Most Likely To End Up in The Smithsonian in 2125Some may think I’m joking, and that’s because I am… Gallery Credit: Chrissy Photo by Thomas Chizzali on UnsplashA Single Flip Flop Left in The Mud Near Buffalo LakeWe shall display it as a holy relic of sorts. RIP. Photo by Lucian Alexe on UnsplashThat One Traffic Cone You Swear Has Been on Loop 289 For 50 Years AlreadyFuture historians will argue whether or not it was from an actual construction site or if it’s an abstract art installation. Why not both?Photo by Anton Mislawsky on UnsplashA Slice of The Funky Old Carpet From Jake’s BackroomRemember when Jake’s had carpet? Oh, you don’t? Well, I DO. We used to SWEEP IT at bar close. I think sweeping the carpet might actually be a job in hell. It’s since been replaced with much better flooring for easy cleanups of spills and cigarette butts. Thanks, Scott! (These young bartenders will never understand how lucky they are.) Photo by Gabriel Jimenez on UnsplashA Bag of Dirt Collected After A HaboobSmithsonian interns will ponder how our city functioned buried under that much sand. They’ll never figure it out. We can’t even figure it out. Photo by Alexander Startsev on UnsplashA Tattered Old Menu From Spanky’s, Covered in Mystery StainsVisitors may or may not be tempted to lick the grease right off the menu. Them cheese sticks be bangin’. Photo by Luismi Sánchez on UnsplashA Gas Pump From The Little Gas Station Near Tech”Where generations of Red Raiders drunkenly counted pennies in the parking lot for a gallon of gas after blowing all their money till payday on beer.”Photo by Eiliv Aceron on UnsplashThe World’s Toughest TumbleweedThis award goes to “The Big One,” which spent 6 years stuck in the same chain-link fence off 34th. RIP. Photo by Tasso Mitsarakis on UnsplashThe Golden Corral Chocolate FountainNobody cares if it ever gets cleaned properly. We all but sip from it like the fountain of youth. (Might need a biohazard sticker in 100 years, but we’ll cross that path when we get to it.) Photo by Sara Kurfeß on UnsplashAn Untouched Slice of Sheet Cake From Market StreetScientists will marvel at how it looks just as delicious as it did the day it was made. Sorcery! Photo by Gabriel Jimenez on UnsplashOne of Those Inflatable Tube Men From an Ave Q Car LotThe caption should read, “West Texas joy in its purest form.”Lubbock Lawn Fads You’ll Find in Every Neighborhood Let’s talk Lubbock lawns and the people responsible. Gallery Credit: Chrissy Photo by Michael Kahn on UnsplashThe “Perfect Yard” ManHe mows at least three times a week, edges all the sidewalks with near military precision, and secretly hates you and your dog, who prefers to poo on his hard work every morning. Photo by Courtney Smith on UnsplashThe Weed WarriorsSome people insist that dandelions are eco-friendly “native landscaping,” and refuse to touch them. Bees love these folk. Your grandpa hates them and calls them lazy bums. Photo by bao sabrina on UnsplashThe Cactus CowboysCactus cowboys replace grass and rocks with a couple of cacti. They look pretty cool, and they typically keep the neighbor kids away. Lord knows nobody wants a repeat of the 2003 game of hide-and-seek that went totally south. Photo by Tile Merchant Ireland on UnsplashThe Plastic PeopleFake grass and rocks often mean fake smiles (and perhaps ta-tas). These lawn keepers are an HOA’s dream, but everyone else gives them the side-eye. Photo by Ashes Sitoula on UnsplashThe Giver UppersTumbleweeds, dirt patches, holes, and dog mess. These lawns don’t even have a water hose, and they won’t ever be any different. Photo by Dillon Kydd on UnsplashThe Seasonal OverachieversThey’ve got the Christmas inflatables in December, Easter bunnies in April, and so much patriotic stuff in July that the city has visited twice to point out fire hazards. Photo by Dimath Dayananda on UnsplashThe Mystery LawnThe grass always looks perfect, but you’ve never actually seen the homeowners outside. The ghost of a “Perfect Yard Guy” probably lives there.