Aerial view of an H-E-B parking lot.
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There’s always a split-second decision to make at the H-E-B parking lot: Do I look for a good spot and potentially get stuck in 20-minute traffic? Or do I grab that perimeter spot next to the road and make the Sahara-like trek in? A tough call.
It sometimes feels like I’ve spent more time in H-E-B traffic than in regular traffic, but that impression is probably way off and just a result of often being hungry and agitated while shopping. The parking lot traffic can be a bit much during peak times. It’s typically due to narrow lanes, a car taking too long to pull out, and way too many vehicles opting for that one spot by the door. Let it go, Indy.
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The online professional complaining world certainly has noticed. “Folks,” begins one of those complaints on Facebook, “if you are going to try to navigate the HEB plus parking lot, make sure you know which lanes are one way and which lanes are two way.” Some bold customers are apparently defying the arrows and forcing their way down the lane instead of turning around, something I’ve personally seen many times, and briefly considered doing to get to a prized spot. But I’m not a monster.
It might be the customers’ fault
Like many busy parking lots, H-E-B’s can lend themselves to chaos. There’s a general sentiment that if that person is taking too long to pull out and a line is forming behind, it’s best to move on. But maybe that’s just what the people behind want you to think, so they can steal the spot.
Furthermore, when some are leaving the H-E-B parking lot, they sometimes hold up a line of cars behind as they’re trying to turn the opposite way on the road. Maybe it’s best to turn with traffic and make a U-turn instead. You don’t want that Creamy Creations melting while waiting.
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There have been more than a few incidents. A San Antonio woman allegedly ran over a man twice with her car in an H-E-B parking lot after an argument (maybe over a space?). This Woodlands customer seemed to want a spot so bad that they wound up wedged between two other cars. But they did get the spot, so perhaps that’s a happy ending.
Don’t take too long to pull out.
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One driver crashed into the front of the store; this guy committed a hit and run; and another incident involved a police chase that ended in the driver hitting a tree and flipping into the H-E-B parking lot. Not that it had anything to do with them looking for parking.
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None of this is to give the impression that H-E-B parking lots are a Mad Max-like hellscape of severe gridlock. Most operate just fine, and if you’re heading to one during peak hours and get stuck in traffic, that’s kind of on you. I don’t even bother going to H-E-B when a snowstorm is reportedly approaching. Would rather go hungry with no power at home.
The most gridlocked H-E-B in Texas
What’s the most chaotic H-E-B parking lot in Texas? That’s impossible to measure, but when I saw this Reddit post grumbling about a particular Heights location on Washington Avenue in Houston, I nodded with understanding. Because the parking lot there looks like it’s all perimeter parking. “Washington is the only one where I’ve immediately regretted pulling in and it took me twenty minutes to then get out,” wrote one person. “Absolutely claustrophobic experience. I’ve shopped there once and will never do it again,” chimed in another.
Part of the understandable reason is the neighborhood’s urban density limits space, and the other is that customers at that location don’t always seem to be aware that there’s a parking garage attached.
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There’s no danger of minor H-E-B parking lot issues ever dampening fans’ rabid passion for the Texas grocery store. It’s generally believed that an H-E-B with parking lot traffic is still better than a freely-flowing lot at Randalls. The traffic is there for a reason.
Perhaps we can all ease it for each other by taking a different approach when parking. Don’t be afraid of that faraway perimeter spot. The walk is pretty enjoyable when you pass by people still looking. Try not to dillydally when pulling out, lest your glacier-like movements cause a chain reaction throughout the lot. And if you live anywhere in the neighborhood and aren’t planning to get much, try walking there. You tend to be more conscious of what you’re buying anyway when you know you have to carry it home.
If we all work together, we all might get out of the parking lot alive. And then it’ll be much easier for me to ignore the above suggestions and get that awesome space near the door.
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