When hardship struck Yamel Ibargüen, she hit back.
After a life-altering decision forced Ibargüen and her daughters Andrea and Yara Huerta-Ibargüen into significant life changes, the single mother discovered her emotional strength, gaining self-reliance, patience and empowerment.
“When I was in that situation, I was actually trying to make myself small for somebody else to look better,” she said, adding the decision caused stress and emotional disruption for her and her daughters. “I didn’t have to do that anymore. I could follow my dreams and do whatever I wanted. If people are in the way, well, they’re going to have to deal with it.”
After decades of putting off writing a children’s book, Ibargüen, at the urging of her oldest daughter Andrea, wrote “Eva Martinez Wears Calcimines” in 2023.
Single mother Yamel Ibargüen turned hardship into strength, writing children’s books including ‘Eva Martinez Wears Calcimines.’
Photo by Joe Nuñez
“My daughters and I were going through a difficult life changing event that impacted all of us,” said Ibargüen, 48, a dual language teacher at Mission Valley Elementary. “During the process, I tried to keep them motivated and thinking positively. My oldest daughter asked me if there was anything that I wanted to do that I haven’t done. It got me thinking about writing a book, I’ve always wanted to write a book. But life happens and it never happened.”
The book’s main character is an ostrich who doesn’t know how to express her emotions. Every time she feels emotion, she puts a sock on to hide it. Every color represents a difference emotion. The book helps children learn how to express their emotions.
“My daughter told me, ‘Well, it’s like you always tell us, we can do anything we want to do, then why don’t you do what you want to do and write a book?’” she said. “What’s the use of me telling them they can do whatever they want in this life and here I am not showing them by example?”
Ibargüen and the girls — a single mother and two teenage daughters — are adjusting well to their new life, navigating by establishing stable, consistent rules, maintaining open and empathetic communication, and fostering independent, nurturing bonds.
“She is very inspiring,” said Andrea, 17. “She is always going for her dreams no matter if they seem out of reach. She taught us to have big dreams. That’s important to have for us as teenaged girls. It can be hard at this age, but she has proven that anything is possible and that’s what I love about her.”
Yara, 15, loves her mother’s determination.
“She is the most determined person I know,” she said. “This book is a great example. She set her mind to doing it, she moved forward with it and has excelled at it. At every one of her events, every signing, every reading, she’s always so dedicated and 100% there.”
At a crucial crossroad of life three years ago, Ibargüen’s first instinct was driven by a powerful urge to protect her children’s emotional well-being and maintain stability.
She suppressed her own distress to care for them, overriding her own emotional needs, leading her to prioritize routines, security and the children’s comfort above her own.
“As mother, I didn’t have time to be sad,” she said. “I had to get myself up and do it for the girls. In the beginning it was really hard for me. I’m really good at expressing myself but I didn’t want to cry in front of them. I thought if I was sad, they would be sad, so I was going to pretend I was happy.”
But once she started writing, she realized it was acceptable if Andrea and Yara saw her cry.
“It was OK if they saw me when I was down. But I wasn’t going to stay down, I was going to get up, and they are going to learn,” she said. “Hopefully, it will never happen to them, but if it does, they will remember that their mother got up off the ground and survived, and they could do it, too.”
Ibargüen found strength by channeling her pain into self-preservation, relying on Andrea and Yara as motivation. She focused on creating a better, more peaceful life for them and for herself.
“It was the worst thing that could have happened to me,” she said. “But I thought I’m not going to let just it happen. Something positive has to come from it, not just for my daughters but for me. It can’t end like. When it happened, I thought I was just going to live for my girls. But no, I am still young, I needed to do something with my life. I needed something to look forward to and something to be proud of. Something good had to come from this; and it has.”
Ibargüen’s three books all use animals to help children express their emotions.
Photo by Joe Nuñez
She reclaimed her identity and began to write.
First “Eva Martinez Wears Calcimines” in 2023, and then “Ay Muchacha, Cucaracha!” and “El Patito Benito” both in 2025.
Since her first day of kindergarden, Ibargüen’s dream was to be teacher. It wasn’t until she graduated from UTEP when her career desire included writing.
“I wanted to be a dual-language teacher, but I had a hard time finding books I liked in Spanish. So I thought, ‘I’m going to write my book, that’s the first thing I’m going to do,’” she said. “Twenty years later, a whole life past, but I did it. Yes, we were going through a hard time, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t think I would have written it if that wouldn’t have happened.”
The books deal with everyday life of migrants in the United States, using animals to tell the stories.
“I have a lot of students who come from Juárez,” she said. “I also have one or two students who live in the United States with someone other than their family members. Some of my students are sad and they cry because they only see their families on the weekend. I have to take them outside to talk to them. Sometimes I cry with them because they are so little and they miss their mom, they miss their parents. Their family is making a huge sacrifice in sending them here because they know it’s a better future.”
She refuses to ignore what is right in front of her.
“I know I’m just one person and I’m not going to make a huge difference, but I’m not going to cross my arms, tampoco,” she said. “I’m ian mmigrant myself; it was really hard for me. I need my students to relate to these characters and to know that they would be fine. It’s a sacrifice, but they are going to be fine at the end.”
Her books have also impacted adults.
“I remember at Barnes and Noble there was a man in his late 40s who told me he was the ostrich,” she said, as a smile crept on her face. “He said he didn’t know how to express himself, either, and that his heart was heavy. Coming from a man, I thought it was powerful. I was so proud. It gave me a new perspective. For a man in his 40s to be able to relate to a fictional character who is silly, who would have thought?”
Andrea, left, and Yara Huerta-Ibargüen said they are beyond blessed to have a mother like Yamel Ibargüen.
Photo by Joe Nuñez
Ibargüen now views herself differently.
“When I was going through it, there was a person who would tell me, ‘It’s a storm, it’s going to pass and then you will be there for somebody else at their moment in need,’” she said. “I never thought that would happen.”
“I’ve been there for one particular friend who is going through what I did,” she said. “She told me she sees me when I go to a book signing and she sees me with my girls and she said she was going to be more open with her kids and have better communication with them.”
Ibargüen understand it is more difficult for women to get back on track after a life-hanging event.
“It’s a man’s world. Of course it’s more difficult for a woman to grow and to do things on their own,” she said.
“The other half of the equation is free to start a new life from zero. I had to lift myself up while I was carrying my girls, while I was trying to figure out my future financially and emotionally to try to support my daughters and follow my dreams at the same time.
“Maybe it wasn’t the perfect situation, but it was the perfect time,” she continued. “I don’t think any of this would have happened if my situation hadn’t changed, I am a totally different woman now and I love it, I love it.”
It hasn’t gone unnoticed.
“I hope she knows the impact that she has made in my life,” Andrea said. “She is the most wonderful woman ever and I’m beyond blessed to have a mother like her. She is the best mom I could ever have, and I hope she knows that.”
Yara said she understands how strong her mother had to be for her, but she and her sister also had to be tough for their mother.
“This wasn’t planned, life just happens so we had to be there for our mom,” she said.
“I have seen how grow so much as a person. She is exploring different sides of herself. When we see her at the readings, she puts out a powerful image. I hope she knows how much she inspires me and how much I hope to be half the person she is when I grow up. I am so proud of her.”