Facebook Marketplace is great for scoring used furniture, vintage collectibles and even practical finds like cars or party supplies. It’s also a place that occasionally makes you wonder whether the internet was a mistake.
While searching for a few essentials I’ve been eyeing (vintage handbags, coffee tables and quirky lamps), I stumbled across some of the strangest listings for sale around Austin. Enjoy.
1. Shrek Crocs, ‘never worn’
If you’ve ever thought, “What if my shoes looked like Shrek and Mr. Potato Head had a very green baby?” — and you wear a men’s size 12 — today might be your lucky day.
2. Pregnant Barbie
Technically, it’s Midge. But I’m not the Barbie police.
I tried to find this exact doll online to compare prices and came up empty, so maybe this is your chance to own an ultra-rare Midge right here in Austin?
3. A Snoopy rotary phone and lamp
Actually, forget I mentioned this one. I want to buy it.
4. ‘Hot pink banana friend’
“Like a big balloon wrapped in velvet,” his (soon-to-be) former owners wrote.
5. A totally normal not-magical brass lamp
Rub it if you want, but don’t expect a giant blue genie voiced by Robin Williams to appear.
6. A collection of 150 Eiffel Towers
Planning to open a very specific museum?
The seller says there are no individual sales, so it’s all or nothing.
7. Seven porcelain clowns
These are definitely haunted, right?
8. A hand-painted, massive aluminum unicorn
Proof that adulthood means you can spend your money however you want.
9. A tall bike
When I clicked the listing, I wondered, “What exactly is a tall bike?”
Turns out, it’s exactly what it sounds like.
10. A ‘cute’ figurine
This thing absolutely comes to life the second you leave the room.