Thumbs up: Federal Judge David Hittner held this week that the state’s ban on drag shows was unconstitutional and offered useful advice for living in a free country: “[F]or those who find such activities as described in this case offensive, the solution is relatively simple … just don’t go.” Maybe the complainants hadn’t thought of that yet? The decision came just in time for mourners to properly honor the late Dolly Parton, who Hittner cited in his ruling. Dolly, the inspiration behind one of the performers who took the state to court, was critical of the Texas law that restricted drag shows. And Hittner noted that the law might have caused problems for Dolly’s own act: “There are ‘erotic’ elements in countless popular performances that could be subject to both civil and criminal penalties.” The singer was, after all, perhaps best known for a pair of assets unrelated to her songs. Her biggest pet peeve, she once told David Letterman: “Nobody notices I’ve got a great ass, too.” 

Thumbs down: Don’t worry, prudes, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick is still working tirelessly on your behalf. The Republican published a list of thousands of naughty books that he said he would penalize Texas public schools for carrying in their libraries. Among them? “Night” by Elie Wiesel. At first we assumed Patrick thought any book named “Night” must be “dirty, filthy, vulgar,” as he called the list’s entries. (After all, in his former life as a radio host, Patrick had a vasectomy live on the air. We don’t expect him to parse the fine points of good taste.) But when reporters asked Patrick about the book, it turned out that he has read it, or is at least aware that it’s the first-person story of a Holocaust survivor: He told reporters he thought it was too mature for middle schoolers. Trouble is, our Republican-controlled State Board of Education just approved it as part of the eighth grade required reading list for 2030.

Thumbs twiddled: Sex sells. But the Houston-area store Adam & Eve says that’s not what’s going on at its franchise in Fort Bend County. In a lawsuit against the county, the chain contends that Adam & Eve outpost is a “specialty retail boutique,” not a sexually oriented business — and so should be treated like a bra shop, and exempt from the the heavy regulation applied to strip clubs and porn stores. But county investigators say the store cleaned up its act only after they visited: “They’ve removed all the crotchless panties,” the chief of the Regulatory Division for the Fort Bend County Attorney’s Office told Chron. “They’ve removed all of the lingerie that exposes nipples and have replaced it with full-length lingerie that goes down to the floor.” 

Thumbs down: When you read above that Texas is fighting to stop drag shows and keep acclaimed literature out of kids’ hands, was your first thought, Wow, what a waste of tax dollars? If so the Economic Policy Institute has news that’ll make your fiscally conservative heart hurt even more. The think tank released a Deportation Calculator to show exactly what taxpayers in different parts of the country are paying for Donald Trump’s mass deportation campaign. According to the EPI, the mass-deportation spending Congress approved in the One Big Beuatiful Bill Act will cost the average taxpayer in the city of Houston around $3,683. You didn’t need that for anything else, did you?

Thumbs up: Speaking of tax dollars, we don’t blame any Harris County resident for being miffed about a proposed property tax increase that would fund raises for most countywide elected officials. But spare County Clerk Teneshia Hudspeth from your wrath: Hudspeth rejected a 70% raise, reasoning that it would be a bad look to boost her pay while she’s also trying to get her office a bigger budget. Not only is this an honorable move, it’s good politics – Hudspeth is up for reelection this year, and why give “election integrity” truthers any kind of ammo? Maybe the county can redirect the money that would’ve gone in her pocket towards making sure that our elections go off without a hitch.

Thumbs down: The Gulf of America has company. Amid a trade war with our neighbors to the north, the Trump administration announced it was renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America. Students once learned the Great Lakes remembering that their names first letters spelled HOMES (Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior). Now they’ll have to go with SHAME. And could this renaming push hit our own state again? What’ll happen to Paris, Texas?  Or to Dublin, birthplace of Dr Pepper? Will the Rio Grande become the Big River? or worse, the Big America River? Pretty soon, we could all be living in America, Texas.

Thumbs up: Ever since Bud Adams uprooted the Oilers and planted them in Tennessee as the Titans, Houston tried to claw back bits and pieces of their legacy. Instead, the Titans have remained defiant and, dare we say, spiteful. It’s one thing to keep Earl Campbell’s number in the Titans’ ring of honor when he never played a snap in Nashville. But wearing the classic Oilers helmet and jerseys twice when playing the Texans is just rude. So we had a hearty chuckle when the Texans rolled out this year’s “rivalry” uniforms and noticed that the colors bore a striking  resemblance to the Oilers’ old powder blue and scarlet. The jerseys don’t have the oil derrick logo — justice for Ol’ Riggy! — but they subtly nod to our city’s iconography, with a pattern honoring curb-sign street tiles and a chrome accent on the facemasks to celebrate custom cars. Nothing will replace what Adams stole from Houston nearly 30 years ago, but we’ll settle for kicking the Titans’ tails a couple of times in these spiffy threads.