It’s a cliché to refer to Houston—or any other major metropolitan area, really—as a “concrete jungle.” But some clichés, to their credit, have at least an iota of accuracy. While the Bayou City’s humid subtropical coastal prairie ecosystem is hardly a jungle in the literal sense, it is teeming with natural life that tries its best to live in tandem with human expansion. Some of it is critical for our own survival, even if their labor is hidden and thankless. And some of it is just a real rat bastard (pun intended) to deal with.
YES MA’AM
Opossums Don’t squeal in horror! They eat ticks, clean up rot, and reduce disease risk. Opossums are friends.
NO MA’AM
Mosquitoes Can’t type. Too busy scratching.
yes MA’AM
Mexican Long-nosed Armadillos Armored, curious, and committed to eating the destructive, stinging insects you hate. That’s a win.
NO MA’AM
Red Lionfish The ocean’s own gentrifiers. Gorgeous, sure, but they swam in like they own the place. They don’t.
yes MA’AM
Turkey Vultures They eat so much roadkill, they’re qualified to lead Health and Human Services.
NO MA’AM
Mockingbirds This writer will not apologize to the Texas state bird after narrowly dodging multiple dive-bombing attempts.
YES MA’AM
Alligator Gar Spotting one of these sea monster-like creatures below the bayou’s surface is sublime and surreal.
NO MA’AM
Nutria As The Princess Bride fans, we appreciate a reference to Rodents of Unusual Size, but these invasive species gotta go.
YES MA’AM
Mexican Free-tailed Bats If you’ve never seen them emerge from under Waugh Bridge by the thousands, you’re missing out on one of Houston’s best free shows.
NO MA’AM
Fire Ants Zero redeeming qualities. Just pain.
YES MA’AM
Grackles Shrieking, rage-filled little psychopaths, but they’re our shrieking, rage-filled little psychopaths.