The following is an excerpt from McSweeney’s contributor Eli Burnstein’s new book, Phrased & Confused, a guide to the great quotations that we just keep getting wrong. From ancient maxims like “Seize the day” to modern sound bites like “The road less traveled,” Phrased & Confused sets the record straight on commonly misunderstood statements — and plumbs the meanings of famously slippery ones (“I think therefore I am,” “A rose is a rose is a rose”). Pairing witty commentary with lighthearted illustration from New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck, it’s the ideal resource for lovers of language, literature, history, and philosophy, full of intelligence and insight for curious minds everywhere.
– – –
“Don’t mess with Texas”
(Tim McClure, 1985)
Tough-guy catchphrase? No. Anti-littering slogan. Get it? Mess?
Though widely assumed to be a bit of generic Texas swagger, the brassy pun was put out by the Texas Department of Transportation in 1985 in an effort to curb rampant roadside littering: Taxpayers were spending around $20 million a year to clean up automotive trash, and young men of the pickup truck–driving, beer can–slinging variety, not to be won over by signs saying pretty please, were thought to be the chief culprit.
The campaign worked. According to the book Don’t Mess with Texas: The Story Behind the Legend, the public service offensive helped reduce litter on Texas highways by roughly 72 percent within five years. Indeed, the phrase was so catchy that it took on a life of its own, spilling out beyond garbage cans and bumper stickers and tracking into the zeitgeist, encapsulating Texan ’tude even better than “Remember the Alamo.” Seared onto belt buckles, peppered into political speeches, the phrase has become so fused with the Lone Star ethos that most of us—including more than a few Texans—have no idea where it comes from.
Which is why, believe it or not, the Texas Department of Transportation has historically been a bit feisty about protecting their slogan, a registered trademark: They want people to get the anti-littering part of the message. So, if you’re thinking of slapping it on a T-shirt or trucker cap and don’t want to get a cease-and-desist letter, you may want to ask them first. As former New York Times’ Houston bureau chief Manny Fernandez quipped, “Don’t mess with Texas. In fact, don’t even mess with ‘Don’t Mess with Texas.’”
Origin
Coined by Tim McClure of the ad agency GSD&M, “Don’t mess with Texas” (sorry, “Don’t mess with Texas®”) was deemed sufficiently edgy that the then-called State Department of Highways and Public Transportation initially hesitated to use it. Good thing they took a chance. Since its inception, “Don’t mess with Texas”–themed TV and radio PSAs have featured such high-profile Texans as Matthew McConaughey, Erykah Badu, Ethan Hawke, Owen Wilson, George Foreman, Lance Armstrong, Willie Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Shamu the orca. We’re still waiting on one from Beyoncé.
– – –
Eli Burnstein’s Phrased & Confused is available wherever books are sold.