I’m just going to say it: everyone’s decorating for Christmas already when we haven’t even properly celebrated Thanksgiving. I saw a neighbor string up fairy lights around their mailbox last week. In November. My cereal nearly snapped under the existential pressure.
Like, hold up. We haven’t even broken out the cranberry sauce yet, and here come reindeer inflatables, red and green bows, and “Jingle Bells” playlists smacking me in the face. Don’t get me wrong, I love holiday cheer. But can we please give turkey, gratitude, and nostalgia a real shot before jumping on the tinsel train?
That’s why I’m launching ThanksGrizzing, a revolution of deceleration. A celebration of Thanksgiving first, without premature Santa cameos, tinsel tornadoes, or elves photobombing the cornucopia. Because Thanksgiving deserves more than just being “the thing you have to endure before Black Friday.”
What Does ThanksGrizzing Look Like:A Proper Official Song
Sure, The Thanksgiving Song by Adam Sandler used to be fun, but profanity and pop-culture in-jokes make grandma clutch her pearls, and it’s not exactly toddler-approved. We need a full-fledged, heartwarming, “feel-the-cranberry-almond stuffin’” anthem.
Linda’s Thanksgiving Song from Bob’s Burgers? Cute. But it’s like, 10 seconds long. I want more than a trailer, I want an album of ThanksGrizzing songs: “Pilgrim Polka,” “Mashed Potato Masquerade,” “Gravy Gratitude Groove.”
There’s also that autotuned “church lady singing about Thanksgiving food” meme, which is a solid Part 1 of this musical project, but we need a full trilogy of emotionally pure, family-friendly Thanksgiving bops. One for gratitude, one for post-turkey nap bliss, and one for leftovers midnight snack joy. Maybe a few about family fights and ‘cousin walks’ to really round out the nostalgia feeling for families who appreciate the beauty in messiness and toxicity.
Nostalgia-Fueled Traditions (That Are Actually Traditions)
Why do Hallmark-style Christmas movies get all the cinematic love? Thanksgiving has cinematic gold!! Slap on a montage of turkey jokes, family chaos, Tia Mildred’s unresolved trauma, and someone spilling sparkling cider. We need a ThanksGrizzing movie marathon! Classic Thanksgiving flicks like Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Spider-Man, Home for the Holidays, and The Addams Family Values!
READ MORE: A THANKSGRIZZING MOVIE LIST TO CELEBRATE TURKEY DAY
Decorating… But Make It Turkey-First
Instead of snowflakes and plastic pine trees in November, let’s deck the halls (or lawn) with:
Gratitude Confessionals & Family Tributes
Raise a toast (or a stuffing-filled potato) to gratitude:
Getty Images for Macy’s, Inc.
Getty Images for Macy’s, Inc.Commercial Mods Without the Commercialization
Christmas has candy canes and tinsel and whole industries built around gift-giving. ThanksGrizzing says nah:
Swap to “Secret Gratitude Notes” instead of Secret Santa. Little surprise notes to let people know why you’re grateful for them
Instead of midnight store mobs (aka Black Friday), launch “Thankful Friday,” a day to enjoy leftovers, weird post-turkey walks, and maybe a thrift-store scavenger hunt for vintage gravy boats
Community potluck remix: encourage swapping odd leftover-based dishes (turkey tacos, mashed-potato waffles) as a bonding lie-in-the-kitchen moment
Why I’m Doing This (Yes, I’m Yelling Inside)
Because holidays get ridiculous. Every year, the world shoves Christmas down our throats right after we finish carving the bird, and we barely catch a breath between “Gobble gobble” and “Jingle jingle.” Thanksgiving deserves to shine on its own terms: with family, laughter, awkward stories, and simple gratitude, before the elf-led onslaught reigns.
So yeah. I might be the lone turkey in the town singing “Hark! The yams do glisten” in November. But someone’s got to remind people that there’s something magical about pausing, stuffing faces, and forgiving that one cousin before decking the halls.
ThanksGrizzing: join me. Skip the candy canes. Embrace the cranberry. Cherish the family weirdness. And for heaven’s sake, let the turkey have its moment.
The Best and Worst Days to Drive for Thanksgiving
Gallery Credit: CANVA/IL
Thanksgiving Debate: When Should Kids Graduate from the Kids Table To The Adult Table?
Parents of all ages have chimed in and they help us decide when kids should move up to the adults table on Thanksgiving.
Gallery Credit: Canva
Most HATED Traditional Thanksgiving Dishes
Gallery Credit: Canva