Texas Tech head football coach Joey McGuire just landed one of those contract extensions that makes your brain short-circuit a little bit. We’re talking about a seven-year deal worth roughly seven million dollars a year. Let’s round that off the Texas way and call it $49 million.
That’s serious money. Life-changing money. “Recalculate your entire concept of reality” money. So instead of breaking down buyouts, incentives, and contract language, let’s do something far more relatable: figure out what $49 million actually buys in the real world.
✈️ A Private Jet
You’re not getting the gold-plated “big-pimpin’” jet with a hot tub and chandelier, but you are getting the kind of plane where TSA is no longer part of your emotional journey. No middle seats, no screaming toddlers, and absolutely no man explaining crypto to you at 30,000 feet.
About 800 Brand-New Pickup Trucks
You could give everyone you know a pickup truck. Then they could give everyone they know a pickup truck. Eventually, the entire state of Texas is inexplicably lifted two inches off the ground, and nobody knows why—but it feels right.
Roughly 49 Million One-Dollar Tacos
What would you do with 49 million tacos? The better question is: what wouldn’t you do? You’d solve hunger, anger, and several personality problems. You wouldn’t be remembered as rich—you’d be remembered as legendary.
About 3,500 Years of Minimum-Wage Labor
Okay, yeah… this one hurts. That’s one person working full-time since the Middle Ages. Suddenly the joke turns into quiet reflection, and everyone stares at the floor for a second.
Enough Therapy to Finally Trace All Your Issues Back to Childhood
Weekly sessions. Premium couch. No insurance drama. Imagine sorting out your emotional baggage so thoroughly that you stop yelling at traffic. On second thought, maybe wait until retirement—football coaches need at least a little unresolved rage.
A Fully-Stocked Doomsday Bunker
Not for the apocalypse—just for a rough losing streak. Climate-controlled, self-sustaining, and quiet enough to avoid talk radio. If things go south, you’ll have someplace safe to ride it out with canned chili and denial.
About 1,225 Years of Netflix
Enough to never worry about your subscription again—and still spend 20 minutes scrolling before rewatching Stranger Things. You won’t finish Netflix, but Netflix will absolutely finish you.
Read More: What Does Texas Tech’s Ranking Mean For Lubbock’s Community?
At the end of the day, Joey McGuire earned his deal, Texas Tech locked down stability, and the rest of us got a fresh reminder that sports money lives in its own universe.
Texas Tech Looks Rather Lovely Covered in Snow
Lovely images of the Tech campus after a big snow.
Gallery Credit: Chrissy
If You Haven’t Been to the Texas Tech Museum in Years, Here’s What You’re MissingThe Museum of Texas Tech University is free to the public and open every day of the week, aside from major holidays. Hours vary slightly. You can find more information here.
Also, I’d like to apologize in advance for my photos. They aren’t the greatest. I also didn’t capture most of the art because it’s much better in person, and I want to leave some things for you to discover on your own. Can’t spoil it all!
Gallery Credit: Chrissy Covington