Personally, we don’t think “Big D” is short for “Big Douche.”

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Last week, we published Judgmental Maps’ take on Dallas. It wasn’t exactly a glowing perception of our city, and to be honest, it seemed vastly more unforgiving than the book’s take on Houston and Austin.

Still, the laughing-crying emoji was putting overtime in the comments when we shared it on social media.

We gave accurate reads the credit where they were due (looking at you, University Park), and according to a couple of readers, Nickelback fans do, in fact, coalesce in the Northeast corner of Dallas. And that was just scratching the surface of the map.

“Gay Parade!” is an objectively factual nickname for Oak Lawn. We aren’t completely sure what “Rick Perry Home of the Delusional” has to do with Carrollton, specifically, but it probably wouldn’t take much convincing us of its merit. We’ll let you have your own fun in guessing which neighborhoods were named “Religious Wingnuts,” “Chemical Spill” and “Patriots for Jesus.”

As expected, the Fort Worthians were ravenous in the comments. We found that especially bold, considering their city wasn’t even relevant enough to get a Judgmental Map at all.

We obviously love the city, but everywhere has its pros and cons. Except Houston — it’s all just a giant, humid charcuterie board for mosquitoes down there. Even loud and proud (are there any other kind of Dallasites?) residents were honest about the less… endearing facets of life around here — suburbanites in the comments who claimed grating traits were exclusive to Dallas proper are in for a rude awakening. Of course, the Dallas Cowboys caught a stray or two, as well.

We’ll let you see for yourself.

Morgan on Facebook:

Fort Worth: Where the West begins. Dallas: Where the East peters out.

Kris on Instagram:

Take it from this Fort Worth kid, they’re right.

Dick on Facebook

That leaves Houston without the perfect name now.

Anthony on Facebook:

Well, it is full of Cowboys fans, so what did you expect?

Sarah on Facebook

I can’t speak too highly of a few ‘burbs either.

Michael on Facebook

And proud of it!

Mila on Facebook

Then Austin is an open mental hospital.

Nathaniel on Facebook

Austin sucks huge, hard donkey dongs compared to Dallas. DFW is simply too big to lost all of its authenticity. As long as we have Burger Street, Babe’s and The Grapevine Bar, all hope is not lost.

Pam on Facebook

When I left my hometown in Maryland at 18, I chose Dallas. I lived there for nearly 40 years. I LOVE Dallas. In 2019, I semi-retired and moved to Big Bend National Park. I can spot a Dallasite within minutes of meeting them. They are extremely douchy.

Rick on Instagram

But the question is, does anyone in Dallas really give a shit what people say?