Alright, let me present this very serious holiday research paper that absolutely holds up under scrutiny.
Growing up, Santa Claus made one thing very clear: you have to be good all year if you want good presents. Naughty kids get coal. Nice kids get toys. Simple math. Or at least that’s what the adults wanted us to believe.
But even as a kid, something about that logic didn’t quite sit right with me.
Because December 25th is not the end of the year.
And once I realized that, everything changed.
Here’s my theory, and I’ve been sitting on it for decades now: Santa delivers presents on Christmas Eve, crashes hard on December 25th, and then… he’s done. Exhausted. Reindeer are parked. Sleigh is in the shop. North Pole HR is closed for the holidays. Which means Santa is absolutely not checking the list again between December 26th and December 31st.
Those days? That’s the loophole.
You’ve already gotten your gifts. The deal is fulfilled. Santa’s energy bar is empty. So logically speaking, from December 26th through December 31st, you can kind of do whatever you want. Eat too much sugar. Stay up late. Be a little gremlin. It doesn’t matter. Santa’s not clocking overtime.
Then, and this is the important part, you reset.
January 1st hits. New year. Clean slate. You’re back on your best behavior. Santa’s list rolls over like a fiscal calendar, and boom, you’re good again.
I call this The Santa Theory.
It’s not about being bad, exactly. It’s about understanding the system. Santa said “all year,” but he never specified which year. And as a child who took instructions very literally, I simply followed the rules as written.
Even now, as an adult, I stand by this logic. That weird stretch between Christmas and New Year’s has no rules anyway. Nobody knows what day it is. Time doesn’t exist. You’re eating leftovers at odd hours and wearing the same hoodie for three days straight. That’s not chaos, that’s Santa-approved limbo.
So if you’ve ever felt like those last few days of December don’t count… congratulations. You’ve independently discovered the Santa loophole.
Just remember: be good again by January 1st. Santa’s rested. The list is back. And I refuse to be responsible for anyone getting coal next year.
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