The moment Lubbock gets a thin, deceitful glaze of ice, we all become meteorologists, NASCAR drivers, and philosophers at the same time. It’s great fun!

Here’s a handy, extremely scientific guide to surviving this wintry weekend in Lubbock with the majority of your dignity still intact:

DO: Respect the Ice

This is not “a little slick.” No, friends. This is black ice, which is better known as invisible betrayal. If you are thinking it doesn’t look so bad, then congratulations, you’ve already lost the battle. Respect the ice, or else.

Photo by Wesley Tingey on UnsplashDo NOT: Test your Tires “Just to See”

We all know the move. A tiny tap on the gas in the driveway seems innocent enough…until you find yourself in the garage without first opening the garage door. Just don’t.

Photo by Robin Jonathan Deutsch on UnsplashDO: Cancel All Your Plans With Zero Guilt

This is the one gift everyone gets: a pass to stay home! You know you didn’t want to go to that stupid party. This is perfect. No guilt. No shame. Cancel away!

DO NOT: Assume Your Truck Is Invincible

Four-wheel drive isn’t going to save you this weekend. Ice doesn’t care about your tires, your lift kit, or your belief system, for that matter. Just don’t.

Photo by Aaron Boucicault on UnsplashDO: Walk Like Some Kind of Cartoon Character

Little short steps. Arms reached out. Slightly crouched. You look ridiculous, but you’re going to stay upright, and that’s the whole goal here anyway, so don’t stress.

Photo by Kostiantyn Li on UnsplashDO NOT: Make Fun of Someone Who Slips

You are liable to fall immediately afterward and lose your remaining dignity.

Be careful out there, and make sure you put a warmth survival kit in your car if you have to brave the weather and drive somewhere. Blanket, snacks, chargers, and anything else you might need. This is incredibly important, even if you’re just driving to Levelland. You never know what could happen. Be safe, Lubbock!

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