Every so often, I receive emails from white readers who invariably ask: “Why does everything have to be about race?”
Some are respectful, others hurl insults about Black people, and about me in particular. I don’t respond to those. I don’t feel the need – if my writing about Black communities prompts racial name-calling, that rather proves the point.
I write a lot about issues concerning the Black community and other communities of color because, well, I’m a Black native Houstonian who is rooted in the soil of this city, and I’m fascinated by the history, told or untold, of the diverse communities who live here and how the city is growing.
In the wake of the nation’s 250th birthday, the story of Nolan Wells is a reminder of exactly why we must talk about race regardless of any discomfort. The 18-year-old was found dead Monday off the Mississippi Gulf Coast after going out with a group of white friends on July 4. Those friends all came home safely and carried Nolan’s cell phone back with them.
Nolan was a wide receiver on his college football team and a good swimmer. His family has retained noted civil rights attorney Ben Crump.
Nolan’s story has resonated with Black parents who are keenly aware that sending their kids into spaces where they’re the only Black person comes with an added burden of preparing that child for microagressions, race-based bullying and isolation.
We’d all like to believe that everyone has a pure, loving heart, but some don’t.
As parents, we’ve either experienced it ourselves as the “only one” or heard the stories of Black friends who survived hate-fueled attacks at the hands of white peers hiding behind “just joking around.” We remember the warnings our parents often gave us as we walked out the door – that our job was to come home in one piece, survive the situation.
If Nolan was a white teen who went boating with three Black friends and was later found dead, there would already be arrests. There would be no mystery.
Actress Sandra Bullock, who has two adopted Black children, has spoken publicly about the fear of raising Black children, born of generations of Black women who were never allowed to relax into motherhood. It’s a watchfulness, she says, that white mothers don’t have to carry.
Our country is folding under the weight of its lies that we are all created equal and that racism is some relic of the past. Race was conceived as a means to build a formal racial hierarchy and many of the laws worked hard to preserve it.
Even though race is a fictional construct, this country was built on top of it.
So the question, “Why does everything have to be about race?” has an answer that some people don’t want or care to hear: because race still decides who comes home and who doesn’t.