Trends come and go — and some will haunt you forever.
As you may know, I operate haunted houses, which means I see thousands of people every season. And let me tell you, I’ve spotted a trend creeping across Lubbock that’s destined to make future yearbook photos a source of deep regret.
Let me start with a confession. Back in high school, all the guys were getting their hair permed. It looked fun, carefree, even a little cool — so I tried it. Big mistake. The results were so bad I still wish I’d shaved my head instead of walking around looking like a member of an off-brand 80s boy band.
And don’t even get me started on half-shirts for guys or tube tops for girls. Those looks were so specific to their time that they’re now comedy gold in retro movies. Having lived through trends like those, I can spot the next big regret from a mile away.
For a while, it seemed like younger generations had learned from us. With social media documenting every phase and haircut, people got a little smarter about trends. But lately? Not so much.
This time, the culprits are the guys — and their crime is The Benson Boone Mustache. Have a look:
It’s not quite a stoner ’stache and not quite a retro porn ’stache. Somehow, it lands squarely in the “trying too hard but not hard enough” zone. It’s the facial hair equivalent of saying, “I’m honoring my divorced Uncle Ted.”
From high school halls to Texas Tech linebackers, this fuzzy upper-lip fashion is spreading faster than a bad TikTok dance.
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So go ahead, fellas — rock your Benson Boone Mustache with pride. Just know that someday, you’ll look back, shake your head, and think, “What the hell was I thinking?”
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