We’ve got some seriously fantastic locally owned businesses in Lubbock, but let’s be honest, we’ve all had a moment where we thought to ourselves, “I bet someone would make a fortune if they opened a [insert badass idea you only have when your wallet is FAR too empty to start a business]!” 

Some of the ideas you come up with are, of course, completely ridiculous. Others, surprisingly practical (at least to you), but who knows? A few of these ideas could accidentally become million-dollar enterprises if the right person were to read this article…

Let’s get into it.

If These Businesses Opened In Lubbock, We’d Be There Tomorrowa sign hanging from a glass window that says come in we are openPhoto by Tim Mossholder on Unsplasha sign hanging from a glass window that says come in we are open1. A Tortilla ATMA tortilla sitting on top of a white tablePhoto by Alimentos Fotogénicos on UnsplashA tortilla sitting on top of a white table

Picture this: fresh, warm tortillas, available 24/7. No questions asked when purchasing 3 dozen at 2 am. The machine has your back (and keeps your secrets.)

2. The Missing Linkblack and gold tube type vapePhoto by danilo.alvesd on Unsplashblack and gold tube type vape

This store would only stock random things you forget at the supermarket over and over again. Batteries. Light bulbs. Bottles of ranch dressing. Birthday candles. The stuff you can’t ever seem to remember to toss in the basket.

3. Big Haboob’s Car Detail CenterN. ClarkN. ClarkN. Clark

Every wish comes with a hug of sympathy for the trauma you survived driving through a dirt storm with almost zero visibility…in a school zone. Their slogan could be something catchy like, “I bet we’ll see you again tomorrow!”

4. The Tumbleweed Trading Posta small tree in the middle of a desertPhoto by Brandon Hoogenboom on Unsplasha small tree in the middle of a desert

Nothing but large, decorative tumbleweeds.

Tumbleweed Christmas trees. Tumbleweed chandeliers. You get it.

Read More: What’s On Lubbock ISD’s Supply Lists And What It Costs

5. Grandma’s Freezerperson holding brown wooden rolling pinPhoto by Loes Klinker on Unsplashperson holding brown wooden rolling pin

A restaurant run by grannies with a massive selection of homemade soups, casseroles, and enchiladas, all sold in old Cool Whip containers.

6. Day or Night Fence Repairbrown wooden fence with white flowersPhoto by Daniel Janzen on Unsplashbrown wooden fence with white flowers

A place 24/7 for emergency fence repairs after major wind events.

7. The Salsa Libraryfour white plastic cups on brown wooden tablePhoto by Doris Morgan on Unsplashfour white plastic cups on brown wooden table

Imagine sampling hundreds or even thousands of different kinds of salsa before buying. They’d have everything from medium to hot to “Your Uncle Bill made this one in his garage.”

8. Chicken Strippersa plate of fried food next to a cup of saucePhoto by Samuel Isaacs on Unsplasha plate of fried food next to a cup of sauce

Half strip club, half chicken strip joint.

You can’t say that wouldn’t go HARD around here…

Would any of these places actually survive?

Probably not. But, pretty much all of us would stop by at LEAST once or twice.

Honestly, there is no question.

We would.

All of us.

Tell me, dear reader, what fake business do you think would be an instant hit in the 806? Reach me at Chrissy.Covington@townsquaremedia.com, then keep scrolling for more silly fun in the galleries below…

5 Things About Lubbock That Blow Harder Than The West Texas Wind

I don’t think anyone will send me crabby emails and tell me to “move somewhere else” after they scroll through this gallery. These things definitely blow.

Gallery Credit: Chrissy

4 Random Places to Hide When Zombies Inevitably Attack Lubbock

It’s only a matter of time before your best friend tries to eat your brains.

Gallery Credit: Chrissy