SAN ANTONIO – Back-to-school season brings new friendships, and sometimes new romantic relationships.
Local advocacy groups say parents should be ready to have honest conversations with their kids about what a healthy relationship looks like.
Mandy Majors, founder of nextTalk, says the parent instinct to say “no” to dating can backfire.
“I think from a mom perspective, what we want to do is say, like, forbid that relationship. But then that often leads to a lot of sneaking and rebellion,” Majors said.
nextTalk is an advocacy group focused on online safety for parents and children. Majors says open communication between a parent and child is crucial to protecting kids from potentially dangerous relationships.
“In an unhealthy relationship, that is prime position for domestic abuse to take place, because then they don’t feel safe with us,” Majors said.
Research shows dangerous or unsafe relationships are most common among people ages 11 to 24.
Dee Dee Said, founder of local nonprofit Positively Impacting Communities, says the media landscape plays a role in normalizing harmful behavior.
“I think exactly with social media and the influences that are around kids nowadays, you know, like reality TV, it’s sarcasm and people don’t recognize how much that’s hurtful to somebody else,” Dee Dee said.
Dee Dee is also a survivor of an abusive teen dating relationship. She says these relationships rarely start with obvious red flags.
“It’s subtle. It’s usually a relationship that starts great, right, like we’re not going to continue dating somebody that’s mean to us right off the bat,” Dee Dee said. “There are derogatory comments that start, side remarks, and so the person in that relationship — something in it starts to feel off, but they don’t understand what.”
Signs of abuse: What to watch for
Advocacy groups say it’s important for parents to understand what different forms of abuse can look like, even if their child is not allowed to date.
Verbal abuse can include yelling, threats or sarcasm directed at a partner.
Emotional abuse may look like being followed, a partner threatening to harm themselves, gaslighting or intense jealousy.
Physical abuse can include pushing, grabbing, hair pulling or being pinned against a wall.
Majors says the most important thing parents can do is keep the door open — no matter what.
“Whatever you do, keep the lines of communication open. Your kids should always feel safe. And you can say, I’m worried about this relationship, but I love you and I’ll support you kind of thing,” Majors said.
Resources for teens, parents
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or teen dating abuse, resources are available here.
You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.
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